May 8, 2013
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Top Ten Weed-Face Basketball Players in NBA History
If you don't know what weed-face is, a quick primer is that it is almost exactly what you think it is. It is a person whose face looks like he smokes a shit-ton of weed. One does not necessarily have to smoke weed to have weed-face, and not all weed smokers have weed-face. This is a subjective matter, as one man's weed face is another man's regular face.
Here are the Top Ten Weed-Face Basketball Players in NBA History.
#10 - Hasheem Thabeet
A surprise addition to the Top Ten list for someone so new to the league, Hasheem grabs the number ten spot for his gigantic grin and lankiness. He just seems like he'd be awesome to hang out with, weed or no.
#9 - Jason "White Chocolate" Williams
The tattoos. The vacant look, eyes half closed. He falls into what I perceive to be a violent strain of Adam Morrison weed-face.
#8 - Bobby Hurley
A prep and college star, Bobby Hurley's weed-face peaked in his time with the Kings. He now owns horses who race in the Kentucky Derby. That has nothing to do with weed-face, but maybe you didn't know that.
#7 - Rasheed Wallace
The grin. The squint. This is the Hollywood version of weed-face. Almost too perfect to be believed. It's almost as if he's putting it on for our benefit.
#6 - Adam Morrison
While his pro career hasn't worked out the way he had hoped, his weed-face career is nearly unmatched. He is at once droopy and grinny, with the crust-asche and fuzzy beard thrown in to create a near perfect copy of that kid you knew in sixth grade whose mom left and whose dad worked long hours so he ended up getting into drugs really early.
#5 - Tayshaun Prince
A blue-chip weed-face recruit at Kentucky, Tayshaun has been a solid pro for more than ten years. His droopy weed-face informs his game, characterized by mostly wandering aimlessly around the court with sudden bursts of effort and energy.
#4 - Nick Van Exel
Maybe it's the eyes that bug out that propels him to number four, but Nick Van Exel-lent led the league in droopy, out-of-it weed-face in all his years with the Los Angeles Lakers.
#3 - Bill Walton
You fucking kidding? Do I even have to explain this one?
#2 - Paul Pierce
Paul 'The Truth' Pierce has been the team leader of the Boston Celtics for years. He plays with passion and heart, and his weed-face is generally droopy with touches of the grins.
#1 - "Sleepy" Sam Perkins
His nickname is "Sleepy" for gods' sake. Did you not think he was going to win? Near constant droopy weed-face.
Honorable mentions include: Cherokee Parks, Rony Seikley, Tracy McGrady, Acie Earl, and Never Nervous Pervis. For those wondering why Sam Cassell is not on the list, he has E.T. face.
Special thanks to: Gabe Perkins, Will Toubman, Gimp Widdoes, Astrid Tsang, Nick Record, Colin Widdoes, Matt Jones, and Sam Littenberg-Weisberg.
