being a hopeless spinaraki, but also not just spinaraki, because this applies to all of the League and Villains in general—
Is it possible to dig deeper into Shigaraki's "If Spinner is still alive" and its meaning/implications and like. cry over it?
If Spinner is still alive = We went into fight knowing we might not make it out alive. (Heroes get total victory. The Villains don't count as part of that.)
If Spinner is still alive = AFO gave him those extra quirks and I, while possessed, wasn't able to stop it. Maybe I wouldn't have stopped it, because Spinner chose it. It might have been the quirks which killed him.
If Spinner is still alive = But it's also entirely possible Heroes could've killed him. Spinner is just a weakling with a useless quirk and some swords, but still, maybe he's dead because Heroes killed him. Heroes killed Twice. Heroes have repeatedly tried to kill me; cannot save me from this death. Toga went into battle thinking it was life or death. Heroes kill, and we Villains all know this.
If Spinner is still alive = I wanted him to see my horizon, because he was looking forward to it. I wanted to be a Hero for the League. Now, I can't do that anymore. Because of that, tell him this, for me.
If Spinner is still alive = Maybe he lived. Out of everyone in the league, Spinner lives because he's weak, he's ignorable. He was only following me. He didn't have a death wish, his power is something Heroes could manage. He wouldn't be considered too dangerous to live.
If Spinner is still alive = Because I know that he might not be. Because I don't trust Heroes have to saved any of us, whether from AFO machinations, or from ourselves, or from the ravages of battle.
'If' implies uncertainty. There's significant meaning in that - that Shigaraki knows Heroes there's a good chance cannot/would not/did not want to save them. And the fact that it's Spinner who gets an 'if' - Spinner, weakest one in the League. How hard is it to stop Spinner? Even with the extra quirks. Maybe especially with the extra quirks - he'd be disoriented, unintelligible, clearly not doing well. He was assigned the task of invading a hospital and retrieving Kurogiri with 15,000 rioters, the relatively least dangerous task out of all other Villains. That's basically zero trust in Heroes to have stopped Spinner in a way that didn't kill him, to have helped him from his melting brain.
Like, Shigaraki has seen the aftermath of his own 'saving'. Deku might have had some intention to save him, but not enough to actually succeed preventing his death. If that was ever the goal. Maybe all that mattered was just ghost of The Crying Child.
If any of the League lives, it's luck. It's mercy.
One might argue, it's because rhe League was so dangerous, and they made the choices that got themselves killed.
But meta-wise, we had that whole Ending arc about Heroes Don't Kill or whatever; we kept getting hit over the head with 'Heroes Save People'; the narrative dangled in front of us 'Heroes Will Save The League'. During the war, background Heroes made gestures of pulling captured Villains away from fire, of capturing them alive.
Then again, Twice was killed and that's probably the escape clause - if the League became dangerous enough, saving them can stop being the goal, despite the narrative supposedly having made it its goal.
Heroes fought the Villains and Shigaraki knew was there was no guarantee Heroes would save them or keep them alive. Despite being Heroes. Because they're Villains, they're unforgivable, they got too broken, they don't get that promise of being saved. Never had - not from abusive homes, not from societal apathy, not from the cruelty of conformity, not from their 'one bad day'; never will.
It reminds me of when Toga sought out Ochako. Twice was killed, and Toga desperately wanted to know, if she ever needed it, if it came down to it, Heroes would save her. Heroes would treat her like a person who deserves being saved, because she's a human being and should be afforded at least that. The League already knew Heroes would not save them. But Toga kept hope. She wanted to believe that Heroes wouldn't put her down like a mad dog. She was disappointed. She gave up hope. Ochako rekindled that hope, but just Ochako. And then the narrative seemed to have refused Toga getting saved anyways.
(Unless, of course, being saved is only about the heart being saved. Then yeah, I guess they can just die.)
