#weird headlines

[thedman0310]

Cocaine "no worse than whiskey," would be "sold like wine" if legalized worldwide, Colombia's president says

Cocaine "is no worse than whiskey" and is only illegal because it comes from Latin America, said Colombian President Gustavo Petro, whose na

[iamthecutestofborg]

The Mona Lisa was attacked with a pastry by a man disguised as an elderly woman in a wheelchair - NewsBreak

The man who's believed to have attacked the Mona Lisa said: "There are people who are destroying the planet, think about that," according to

The Onion WISHES thier content was this good I thought this kind of thing only happened in sitcoms

[kadythethief]

Fans of what? Chicken??

[big-baby-pudding-snatcher]

Me: Let's see what useless headlines the Google app gives me today

Front page of Google app:

[Translation: "A serial pee-er torments Prisma * in Seinäjoki by urinating in his own pants - Confused manager: "Well it's not a crime technically""]

Me: //closes the app//

*Prisma is a Finnish supermarket chain

[runawaymarbles]

“Breaks his silence”?? It ended 6 hours ago

[thepoetrytheorist]

The werewolf target paid to chase me as their burntout employees lock the doors:

[rosewind2007]

I love my home, I live in a market town which is super-picturesque and is in many ways my own Bedford Falls (yeah—I too am not immune from existential horrors, but I generally buck up in time for Christmas) and we have a weekly newspaper

This week’s headline is a classic

[bbcnewsfail]

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