Redditor Nikki Sixx au fanfic
(Part: 1) AO3
Summary: The west has fallen and so has chronic reddit user Nikki Sixx can Vince come in his life and save him from himself before his demons learn how to swim?
Billions must shout at the devil
Nikki Sixx hunched over his computer, squinting as he struggled to turn down his computer brightness. His eyes seared. Wincing, clicking filled his ears. He fumbled for his headphones. “Goddammit!” He muttered. His heart thundered, but soothed as what looked like the sun in his eyes darkened. Then he smirked and rubbed his hands together.
“Ah, finally.” He squinted, scratching the dent under his headphones. Dandruff fluttered onto his desk, mixing with cheeto dust.
The Reddit logo filled his eyes. Nikki’s heart pumped then fluttered. A rush seared through his chest. “Oh my GOD!” He exclaimed, pounding his fists on the desk, “This is AMAZING!!” He plucked a loose dorito off the desk and ate it before scrolling around.
A red circle bloomed over the notification bell. He scrambled to click it.
U/SmartGuy198 replied to your post in r/_______
You can’t just generalize human nature like that dude.
Nikki closed his eyes, sighing, gravelly. Cracking his fingernails, he held his breath before flying to type. Ravenous clicking thumped through the room.
u/ILoveWriters555
All humans born are naturally inclined toward evil because they rely on morality which is only a social construct. Empathy alone cannot
He hit backspace.
Every member of the homosapien animal species as in multi-cell organism vertebrates are, objectively, animals. Our ‘free will’ is a lie, it’s a dishonest made up thing. Put your toys away, toddler. In the end, when you peel back all the layers, you’ll realize that we animals only navigate this world with our instincts and we have no control.
u/SmartGuy198
What is bro saying?
Nikki scowled. Fire swallowed his guts.
u/ILoveWriters555
I don’t expect you to understand. Downvote me all you want, but it proves that some people have epiphanies beyond normal understanding since intelligence varies from individual to individual.
Nikki smirked, nodding as he scooted back in his office chair. It croaked. He mounted his elbows on the table, piecing his hands together before clicking his tongue. “I won.” He reminded himself, scrolling past the meme of fluttershy with someone’s headcanons for her if she was human. He scrolled toward his profile picture.
Caramelldansen blasted from his phone. Nikki jumped—his chair groaned. His knees clashed into the desk. He lurched inward, holding himself. “Ow!” He hissed before slamming his hand on the phone.
“Nikki guess what??” Vince complained on the other end.
“What it is, Vince?” Nikki shrugged.
“I just got in some HUGE argument with this DOUCHEBAG!!” Vince ranted, “I don’t think I’ve been this heated over an argument on the internet in MY LIFE!!”
“Really?” Nikki’s eyes widened, “What happened?”
“I don’t even know how it started, but I j-just, you know, opened Reddit and some guy commented under my post saying ‘the west has fallen’!”
Nikki sighed, shaking his head. “Tsk, tsk.” He said, “But he’s right.”
“Wha—huh—pardon? No? Nikki? What the FUCK?” Vince rambled, “Dude—the west HASN’T fallen just because I said I wasn’t a fan of Fluttershy!”
“No. It has fallen. Fluttershy is literally the epitome of the ideal wife. You don’t understand.”
“-I’m sorry?-”
“It’s true.” Nikki spoke over him, “But, Vince, listen. Listen to me.”
Nikki adjusted himself. The chair creaked.
“Fluttershy,” He casually began, “Is, well, the best. I think she’s the best—it’s objective fact. Whoever you were arguing with, he’s definitely right.”
“Hang on, I’m lost. What are you going on about??”
“Vince. Vince, listen. You’re part of the problem-”
“WHAT problem??”
“Don’t ask questions you’re not ready for the answers to.”
“No, no, Nikki, I’m sorry.” Vince sighed, “I’m just really overwhelmed right now. I don’t mean to take it out on you.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that we men need to save the west.”
“… How?” Vince scoffed, sounding as if Nikki was batshit, “Marry the imaginary horse..?”
“Listen.” Nikki splayed Society by Pathetic240px, “You need to understand.”
“Dude, can I call you later?”
“No, listen-”
Vince hung up. Nikki loaded Crossfire and won the game.
