#crack fic

[armpitsniffer420]

So um, update they fucked

There is Gaylord Mansex (pink hair)

And Venus (black hair)

So um yeh I mean Maria is a mommy dom but whatever this works too

[k-h0neyy]

Rating the Blue Lock boys’ potential as Kpop idols (Idol AU):

part 2!

Loki: 8/10

Mbappe oppa 🥹 (you saw this one coming didn’t you)

He’s the cutest ever I love him so much

Gets asked to do partnerships the most since he’s probably the most brand safe member

Loves airport appearances for the fans but hates them because the whole team wants to act a damn fool. He almost lost Rin because he passed out and Shidou left him where he was

Gets asked to perform aegyo the most on variety shows

Sorry can you tell I like Mbappe 😞

Hugo: 8/10

Absolute beefcake. That’s all I’ll say

Also his name is literally perfect for a Kpop idol like yes Vivian Hugo sunbaenim

I feel like his whole aptitude and destiny philosophy aligns so perfectly with the Kpop training system

Says “beep beep” when he wants to politely tell a staff member to move or alert the members to fix formations

He said “beep beep” at a radio show and it got edited over the “beep beep” in Itzy’s icy 😭

Sendou: 7/10

Gorgeous and talented but can he PLEASE be less thirsty omg

1000% a Music Bank MC and has fallen for all of the girls he’s MC’d with. There are compilations titled “Kpop idols folding under zero pressure” and he’s in every single one of them

Despite this, he’s terrified of Dispatch (Korean news service that exposes idols for dating)

Star quality through the roof

Bachira: 7/10

Main dancer for sure

Has AMAZING star quality, but scared tf outta the other trainees by mentioning his monster

Everyone’s ult bias. Even if they don’t stan the group, they still stan Bachira

Begged the merch department to release plushies of the members in honor of their first comeback

Hugged Isagi one too many times at an awards show cause he missed him

Ness: 6/10

Like Kaiser, good visuals, but would need media training to control his jealousy

Would literally be seething if the stylists decided the match the colors of Kaiser’s outfit to Isagi’s and not his

Violently sobs when he meets fans and they tell him he inspires them

Leaks Isagi’s fugly predebut photos from his parents’ Facebook

Forced to do lives with Kaiser to prevent him from trauma dumping to their fans

Shidou: 5/10

Honestly 50/50 with him because he’s so funny but HE IS NOT BRAND SAFE AT ALL

Actually obsessed with the Riku shake and youngho bounce (management had to tell him to stop)

He would get on Ig live at night and when he starts getting bored he’d say “Guys… isn’t it so romantic that we’re all here at the same time?” and then chat starts clowning him

Got told off by the PR team (Loki) for saying “Oh em gee aren’t we literally Nikocado and Orlin right now” while doing a mukbang livestream with Charles

[8lcd]

Me: man what where the 90s era comics on *remembers crack tag* ohhh literally

[cicada-swarm]

John Arbuckle and Megamind ship crack fic rapidly becoming unironic

[ri4naaa]

jeff the killer x reader ig????

does this even count....... cw sligjt;y suggestive (mentions jerking it)

a/n: this is the first and last fic any of you are getting from me unless i build the courage within the next like 5 yrs ,,,, enjoy the slop

[uptoolateart]

Getting Senti-Mental

A short crack one-shot

Summary:

After revealing the truth to Marinette in 'Representation', Felix doesn't want to get rid of the senti-projector he created. Kagami despairs.

Preview:

‘I don’t want to destroy it,’ he told Kagami.

‘Of course you don’t,’ she said. ‘But what’s the alternative?’

‘I could take it home.’

She looked thoughtful – and beautiful – and very thoughtful. ‘I suppose your house is big enough. You could tuck it in a cupboard and forget about it.’

‘Oh no. That’s almost as bad as vanishing it! I gave it life, so life it shall have.’

Her brow went up. ‘Life? What are you going to do with it? Take it for walks? Feed it?’

Read at AO3

[arsonisticscholar]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26546002/chapters/64710055

[dogdaysareover365]

crack au: no astrophage au. Rocky and Adrian are humans, happily living on earth, and grace is their annoying, leaky golden retriever. Or maybe he’s an exotic snake that needs a bougie enclosure in their tiny ass apartment

basically, I love anything where Grace is basically rocky and Adrian’s dog, so I’m saying that’s who it’s next logical step