You had been making out with your boyfriend for the larger part of some bad horror movie.
Things had gotten heated and you found yourself laying on your back, a cushion shoved underneath your hips and a hungry looking Sukuna tugging your sweatpants down.
"Babe." He suddenly paused, your panties pulled to the side.
"What?" You pout, trying to sit up and see what his sudden hesitance was about.
"The fuck is this? Why is she bald?"
"Bald- Suku! Cmon, stop messing around." You groan, flopping back down, your hands tugging on his hair.
You could feel him use his free hand to trace his fingers below your tummy, fingers grazing over a few razor bumps, but mainly the freshly shaven pubic hair area.
Sukuna looked like a kicked puppy, a deep frown pulling at his lips. "Babe, i want it back. Why'd you shave? It looked so good..."
"What the hell are you talking about? I had my everything shower last night and i though i should shave fully for once, yknow. Feel a bit more put together."
His tongue licked across the smooth skin, making you jolt and lift your hips up higher.
"I liked the way it tickled my face while i was eating you out... grow it back." he pouted against your soft flesh.
"Stop complaining and do something already!"
A cheap shriek and jumpscare from the movie playing made you roll your eyes, nudging your hips up again, trying to show him where you wanted some attention.
"Fine, but i'm punishing you for getting rid of her hair."
Yoon's notes: HE WANTS UR COOCH HAIR BACK GODDAMNIT
I got insp for this from scrumptious_chowder on tiktok I LOVE THEM
Also @liliklei ........
...Well, Husband!Sukuna is actually being scolded by his wife, and he's taking it like a little bitch champ
═══════════════════════════
“Please, watch your step, my lady,” Uraume warned, taking the lead a few paces in front of you to guide you through the chaotic scene your husband had made of Shibuya. It was quite impressive, you had to admit, but you weren’t about to praise him for his mess–you’ve seen better, and you’ll make sure to let him know that as soon as you’re done giving him a piece of your mind.
They paused a few steps in front of you, waiting for you to catch up to offer you their hand and help you over the smoldering rubble. You paused when, above your head, you heard Sukuna’s familiar maniacal laughter as he toyed around with a curse, tossing the poor thing all over the city without any real effort or care for the civilians among you.
“Fucking manchild,” you sneered under your breath, following Uraume’s lead through the burning mess. In the distance, you watched a plane fall from the sky, crashing into a fiery pit of rubble before exploding. “His gluttonous need for mayhem disgusts me.”
Uraume chuckled, “I believe there was a time when you found that to be a charming attribute of his, my lady. And if I remember correctly, you used to eagerly partake in the chaos as well.”
“Don’t mistake my words, Uraume. I only meant that this madness isn’t something to indulge in alone–he’s keeping this all to himself.”
They hummed over your explanation with a small smile. “I see. You’re upset that you’ve been left out.”
“Precisely,” you hissed, taking their hand again when it was offered to you. “He should have waited for me.”
“To be fair, Sukuna-sama wasn’t aware that we’d be attending. Otherwise, I’m almost certain he would have waited for you.” You didn’t believe that for a single second. “This way, my lady. I believe their fight is nearing its end.”
When you finally set your eyes on your husband again, he was watching over the burning corpse of the curse he’d been fighting. At your side, Uraume dropped to their knee on the charred sphere you were standing on. In another life, one that was set a thousand years ago, you might’ve knelt before your king, too.
However, this was a different era, and you’d had a thousand years to stew in your anger and contempt after being neglected and abandoned by your husband. To say you were livid was an understatement; therefore, the only one who would be doing the kneeling between you and Sukuna was going to be Sukuna kneeling for you.
“Who are you?” he dared to ask, not even turning to look at you or Uraume.
“It’s nice to see you again, Sukuna-sama.”
You rolled your eyes at the pleasantries that always dripped off Uraume’s tongue when they addressed your husband–as if he deserved it.
“I’ll have to disagree with you, Uraume,” you gritted out, finally earning the attention of the insufferable man you bound yourself to all those years ago. “I feel rather nauseous upon our meeting.”
He glanced at you over his shoulder, red eyes, mirthless and unamused, narrowed in your direction as he tried to fit the familiar pieces together. Then, as if the realization struck him at once, they ever so slightly widened in surprise, then filled with just a touch of fear.
Good.
“You spineless coward.” His throat bobbed as he gulped, watching as you paced forward, paying no mind to the singed ruins burning the hem of your kimono. “You disgusting, petulant, monstrous, little brat–do you have any idea how long you’ve left me alone?! To deal with the consequences of your actions that you left behind without a moment’s notice?!”
He grabbed your wrist to stop you from stabbing your finger into his chest. “You’re angry-”
“Yes! I am angry! You did not tell me you were abandoning me-!”
“I did not abandon you-”
“Do not play dumb with me!” Your hand surged up to grab onto his face, fingers digging into his cheeks to pull him down to your level. So easily, he could have pried you away from him, yet he didn’t. Instead, he only rolled his eyes and waited for you to finish. “You said you were going away for a while.”
“And that was true. It has been a while, yes?”
“I did not think you meant a thousand years!”
“Your mistake then.”
You were about to grind your teeth down into little nubs with how tightly you were clenching your jaw. A sneering hiss passed your lips, and you harshly dragged your hand away from his face.
“This boy that you’re inhabiting–your vessel-”
“Yuji-”
“I do not care for the brat’s name!” Sukuna flinched at your tone. “Does he feel pain when you are fronting in his body?”
“No.”
“Good.”
With his answer, you didn’t hesitate to back hand him across the face, putting all your rage into the one swing. He grunted with the impact to his cheek, but took the attack as he should–wordlessly and without punishing you back.
The space around you went quiet, only filled by the crackling sound of embers and distant screams of anguish as you dragged your hand back, shaking out the tingles quickly before holding it out to him, which he begrudgingly took to heal it for you.
“That has quelled the worst of the anger.”
He only grunted in response to that, tracing his thumb over the back of your hand until it didn’t ache anymore.
“There.” When he let go of your hand, you didn’t pull it back. You kept it held out in front of him until he groaned and grabbed it, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand before lowering it to your side in a soft, delicate motion. “Good?”
“Adequate,” you corrected him, crossing your arms and sliding your hands into the sleeves of your kimono. “With that out of the way, I will admit that I’ve missed you.”
He exhaled a faint sigh of relief, the smallest smile ticking up on the corners of his mouth before disappearing. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“Have you really?”
“Indeed. Want me to prove it to you?”
“No need.” Your nose curled at his insinuation, eyes glaring over his new body. “I’ll take your word for it. I’ve no interest in lying with someone so young and who lacks the proper number of appendages. You’re missing two of your arms.”
He chuckled, “Among other appendages, but yes, I’m aware.”
You grabbed the uniform he was wearing, bunching it in your fist to push it up to his chest, revealing his boringly bare torso, no belly mouth in sight. “And the best part about you is also missing. How tragic…”
“My apologies.”
With a scoff, you released the uniform top, returning your hands to your sleeves. “When will this affair be over? And I mean completely over. I want my husband back, and I want him in my husband’s body.”
“Hard to say. I have a few more things I’d like to do.”
“Make it quick then. I want to spend the New Year together-”
“It’s not that simple-” At his interjection, you raised your brows, making him fall silent before he sighed, “I’ll make it quick.”
“That's the way.” You took a small step toward him, closing the gap between you. “Lean down.”
When he did, you pressed a kiss to his cheek, which made him grumble, “That’s it?”
“It’s all you deserve.”
You gave his chest a pat before turning on your heel, only to be caught by your wrist and pulled back against him. His arms circled around your waist as his face pressed into the crook of your neck. Sukuna inhaled deeply and released it with a sated groan, hand dragging down your hips to palm your asscheek.
“You’re not really leaving already, are you?” He pressed a kiss to your neck, just below your ear. “You should stay. I’ll fight you next. It'll be the most fun we've both had since I left.”
“No, thanks.” You let him place only one more kiss to your skin before pushing away. “Don’t make me wait too long, Sukuna. I’d hate to have to find someone else to take care of me.”
He snorted, “Like who? No one else can handle you.”
You shrugged innocently. “I hear Satoru Gojo’s in Shibuya. Sealed up tight in the prison realm. Maybe I’ll just take it for myself and free him. Maybe then I’d renounce my title as your queen and devote myself to fighting for his cause. Offer myself up as his wife, too–I’m sure he’d appreciate a step up in the competition, don’t you?”
You could feel his anger wafting off of him in waves, hitting you in the back of the neck as you grinned.
“I’ll kill you both.”
“Hurry up while you still have a wife waiting for you.” You hid your snickering behind your hand when you heard his irritated grumbling. “Let’s go, Uraume. I need a new kimono before you take me home.”
Batkids early adoption au except it all happens in the same night (also Bruce Wayne is an idiot)
Picture this:
Bruce goes to the circus. A tragedy occurs. He starts walking back to his car with a freshly orphaned Dick Grayson clinging to his neck. He gets there only to find...
The tires are gone. All but one, which is in the process of being removed by a scrawny street kid named Jason Todd. The boy runs.
Bruce panics. He obviously can't let this poor, obviously homeless kid run off to get crimed in Crime Alley. Bruce does the only thing he can think of: he throws Dick like a pokeball. It works, sort of. Dick catches the kid, the kid catches a concussion.
Bruce panics harder.
He bundles the kids into the back of his car and hops in the drivers seat. "Hospital," he says to himself, "I can do this. I'm Batman."
"What?" Dick says.
"What?" Jason says.
"What?" Bruce says.
THUMP. They're interrupted by the sound of someone landing bodily on the roof.
Bruce stumbles out of the car to find Tim Drake doing the family guy death pose on top of his $400,000 Mercedes. Above them, a broken fire escape squeaks a threat of more violence. Bruce is distracted by it for only a second, but when he looks back down, Tim is already upright and setting off a camera in his face.
"Hi, Batman!" Tim grins. "I knew it was you."
Bruce blinks away the stars with a sigh and opens the back door again. Tim scrambles off the roof and wanders in.
Bruce now has three childr- wait when did that one get here? Cassandra Cain is wedged into the middle seat between Dick and Jason. She smiles at him sweetly.
"Who-" Bruce begins.
Someone wings a brick at them out of nowhere. Tim narrowly avoids further head trauma only because Bruce's dad reflexes activate in time to bat (ha!) it away. Bruce turns to see a little blonde girl sprinting off. He moves to catch her, but steps on Jason's discarded tire iron; it flips up and nails him in the balls. Stephanie Brown gets away.
Bruce realises, while he's writhing pitifully on the ground, that the car still has no tires.
He calls Alfred for help.
---
Four hours, a hospital visit, a whole lot of paperwork and one long phone call to CPS later, Bruce arrives home with four emergency foster kids in tow.
Talia Al Ghul is sitting in his living room with a baby carrier.
he's been turned into some kind of perverted loser.
his frat brothers give him so much shit for it. and he deserves every bit of it, too.
everyone with a social life in this uni knew how down bad he was for you, and how you also could literally not care less about sukuna.
there was that time during your lecture where he had burst in (trespassed), took over the podium from the dorky-looking nerd (your professor), and asked you out in front of a very frazzled audience of a hundred and twenty students.
except it wasn't a lecture and rather, an exam worth 40% of your grade that you almost failed. because of him.
he was walking around with a crotch pad for months after that, because you'd try to knee his groin or throw a baseball at his.. jewels everytime you saw him after that.
and that was after you had tried to run him over with your friend's car.
and then there was that time during the playoffs where he had hijacked the stadium announcements office mid-game, only to yell out your name.
"BABY!" the speakers resounded with what was obviously sukuna's voice, "PLEASE! GO OUT WITH ME?"
you flinched, watching your friends turn around to stare at you with as much bewilderment you were feeling.
it was mortifying and you wanted to melt into your seat and put sukuna through a meat processor.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" you seethed, when an hour later he seeked you out after he finished bargaining with the dean about his probation. bargaining with the dean.
"WHAT THE FUCK???? IS WRONG??? WITH YOU???" you screamed, the noise making everyone in the frat gulp in fear.
sukuna stood in front of you, hands joined together in front of him (protecting his balls), head facing downwards as he got yelled at like a petulant child.
"are YOU DENSE???" you screamed, hands tangling in your hair as you resisted the urge to pull at it in frustration. you should be making sukuna fucking bald instead.
"IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE STADIUM???" you picked up a vase and launched it at him, and missed.
sukuna let out a breath of laughter at that before straightening back up.
everyone knew then, that he had now fucked up beyond the point that was safe for anyone in the vicinity.
everyone promptly left the house so that sukuna's stupidity doesn't kill them too in the process.
"...you think this is funny?" you asked, quietly. he still hadn't raised his eyes off the floor.
he coughed, "n-no.."
"you think this is funny."
and then he could hear your footsteps echo in the opposite direction. seemingly calm.
he raised his head up and there you were, picking out the biggest knife from the kitchen.
before he could register what you were doing, you charged at him raising nanami's expensive custom-made japanese butcher knife in the air.
sukuna's eyes widened a fraction before his instincts kicked in and he dashed, running in the opposite direction.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" you screamed at him, "YOU WANNA GO OUT HUH??? I'LL TAKE YOU OUT, RYOMEN SUKUNA."
he was pretty sure you wouldn't commit manslaughter.
(˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵) tomodachi-life-obsessed!reader showing bf!sukuna the mii she made of him!
For the past four hours, you’ve sat sprawled covered in a mountain blankets—hunched in an uncomfortable position that you know will give you a lethal neck pain the next day—Playing on your nintendo switch.
For four hours straight.
Nonstop.
Tomodachi life.
And at this very point, every time you take a moment to blink, the vision of your tomodachi island is burnt and etched into the lids of your eyes. And that is not an exaggeration.
“Babe.” Sukuna’s gruff low voice echoes as he leans his large frame against your wood door.
“Hm?”
Your attention does not leave the illuminating screen once.
“The hell have you been doing for the past 4 hours? Last time I checked, couples are supposed to spend time together and do couple stuff, you know.” He huffs, crossing his large muscular tattooed arms together.
“I’m busy doing something,” You answer in an unamused tone.
He scowls, “What could you possibly be doing that has your undivided attention—for four hours straight. Have you even considered blinking?”
You peek up at him through the top of your switch and pat the empty spot next to you on the bed.
Sukuna grumbles something incoherent under his breath and plops down next to you. He pauses for a moment before wrapping his arms around your waist, and nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck trying to pry the switch away from your hands.
“Wait! Can’t you see i’m busy? I promise i’m almost done.”
“Busy doing what, women?!”
“… I’m trying to make our mii’s fall in love on our island,” You murmur.
“Our what?”
“I made you in my tomodachi island, and now i’m trying to make you fall in love with me back. My mii totally fancies you, and you only see me as just a friend.”
“—You better not fall in love with any of my other mii’s.” Your eyes narrow in suspicion as you jab your finger into the screen like a warning.
He lets out an exasperated exhale before getting interrupted by your rambling—“Wait, look at how cute you are! I made it look just like you, see?” You tilt the screen towards sukuna with a content smile.
He opens and closes his mouth before glancing down at the screen. He’s seen empires burning down and the deaths of so many that were caused by him with his very eyes.
And how he’s looking at a mii..
His mii looks.. Cute and chibi looking for the inspiration being a 7 foot something tall, muscular, scary looking man. The “King of Curses”, as some may call him even. But he cant lie, it’s a bit endearing how you captured the marks on his body, his pink hair the exact shade as his in real life, and made him cute looking. As if that was even possible in the first place.
“Tch. I look stupid.”
“I think you look pretty accurate,” You add, smiling proudly.
He quirks an eyebrow—narrow ruby eyes flickering between the screen, and back to your pretty smile.
He leans in closer, “Hm, no. It was me who ‘fancied you’ first. Not the other way around.”
Your eyes soften at his comment before you steal a quick affectionate peck on the tip of his nose—An “annoyed” rumble escaping his chest which makes you giggle and playfully nip his bottom lip in return.
He stays next to you for the rest of the afternoon listening and watching attentively as you give him a tour of your island—Pretending to seem bored when this whole time he’s secretly taking note on the way your dumb little island is so you without even trying—The backstories on each small detail and it’s meaning on your island, and each mii.
How cute it is when you get so passionate about something so trivial like this.
But he’d never admit that out loud.
“Oh! Oh! My mii is finally going to confess to you!” You clap your hands together excitedly and gleam.
“Is this really what entertains you?” Sukuna lets out a sigh pretending to sound irritated.
“Well, yes!”
A/N: im a larp i dont even own a switch lmfao i just thought this was a cute concept
