#weirdo chronicles

[liminalsimian]

Lately, when I am feeling particularly awful about life in general and can't imagine how I'm going to survive the next few weeks, I always ask myself, "Have you eaten recently?"

And if the answer is yes (which it usually is) ....... well that explains it then 🙄

I don't particularly enjoy living in opposite land, but I guess it's kinda funny

[liminalsimian]

I still think "hope is a skill you have to train like a muscle" is bullshit because that shit keeps happening to me against my will. Overestimating my own abilities, being too trusting, approaching situations with too much optimism again as if I shouldn't have learned to be realistic by now...

I was going to follow this up with a metaphor about actual muscles and how sometimes the problem is excessive tension rather than lack of strength but then I realised it made no sense. Anyway,

[liminalsimian]

Conversation I just remembered.

My partner: do you know if Chinese people also have a superstition about the 7th son like we do here in Europe?

Me: [blank stare]

Me, internally: we have a what

[liminalsimian]

I looked at Dark Pattern Games after reblogging that post yesterday because I've been having trouble finding new games to play lately, but literally nothing on it looked interesting. I finally found one game I wanted to try out when I was already pretty far down the list (sorted by highest rating, so they were getting worse), but then I opened the download page and saw this:

Lmao ok guess not then.

I'm really tired of playing nothing but Merge Dragons, mostly because it takes so long to load and is in landscape mode. Sometimes I just want to start playing a game without turning my phone around first! Merge Dragons is also a horrible cash grab but I can ignore that tbh.

My problem is that I am too picky. I like games in which I can collect, arrange, merge or combine items and stuff like that, but the graphics have to be pretty or why would I want to collect them?? Real dragon/corvid hours, I just want to stare at shiny things 😳

[liminalsimian]

i have been informed that i yawn like an old man.

not sure what that means but i will embrace the vibe

[liminalsimian]

i don't know how to find the post again because searching for "weird uncle" on my blog didn't help, but i said something on here once - maybe last summer, maybe the year before - about cultivating a kind of Weird Uncle Attitude as a counter to certain anxieties i have and tbh that was one of the best ideas i've ever had

it was a totally spontaneous post, but more and more often i think back on it when i catch myself having those feelings and then i literally imagine i am someone's weird, stubborn, slightly grumpy uncle and it helps instantly.

like ... it opens up a new framework for interpretation. maybe i just read something that made me think there was something wrong with me because i couldn't relate to a supposedly universal human experience. but then i ask myself, what would the archetypical Weird Uncle in my head do?

scoff at the silly kids spreading such nonsense, probably. since it doesn't apply to him, it's clearly inaccurate.

and that thought helps me snap out of whatever spiral i was about to embark on. i don't even need to complain about whatever it was i read because it's not worth my attention.

turns out a stray thought about weird uncles has been more helpful to me than any therapy.

[liminalsimian]

something really weird happened to me regarding good omens recently. i cannot explain it at all, but for some reason i am tired of seeing posts about it and often scroll past them now. this applies equally to text posts and gifsets, so it's not even a matter of being annoyed by popular fandom takes or anything like that.

it's not about being unhappy with the tv adaptation, either! i greatly enjoyed both seasons and am looking forward to the third. i'm not actively a part of the fandom anymore because i kind of feel like i already got a lifetime's worth of fanfic reading over with before the show came out, but until recently i was definitely enjoying the gifsets?

i wouldn't even say i've lost interest. my interest in the canon sits on the "former/dormant special interests that i am open to revisiting with slightly less intensity anytime" shelf in my head exactly like it did a year ago. for some reason i'm just ... annoyed people are posting about it? or something??? i have no idea what's going on.

[liminalsimian]

now that post got me thinking about the conundrum of my unusual feelings about small talk again

and i guess the crux of the issue is that small talk doesn't give me any information that would tell me whether the person i'm speaking to is interesting or safe to be around? it's completely useless for that goal and i don't really understand why people say it fulfills that purpose.

the one exception being "what are your hobbies" maybe, if you're lucky. but i know plenty of interesting people i don't have any hobbies in common with, nor do they have hobbies so fascinating that it contributes to why i find them interesting.

as an aside, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is terrible advice for weird people, isn't it? i hate being asked how i'm doing, so ... i should never ask anyone else that question i guess? lmao

how can you start to feel comfortable around someone through small talk? like what info does that even give you???