#wenceslaus ttp

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ttp characters but as my tweets because i think i am quite funny

wenceslaus

rupert

joan

percy

darling

amir

[spoopdeedoop]

rupert: i said to my husband “gods don’t die” and my son ran up to me and whispered in my ear “some do” like he knew for sure

rupert: he’s seven

rupert: i’m so fucking frightened for my life

rupert: i put him to bed and said goodnight and he replied “it won’t last” and i’m fully convinced he holds far more power than any other human being

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percy: what if the person who named walkie talkies named everything? cecily: pregnancy tests are maybe babies rupert: socks are feetie heaties darling: forks are stabby grabbies amir: defibrillators are heartie starties wenceslaus: nightmares are dreamy screamies joan: you are disappointments

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wenceslaus, showing amir a stick: a stick

amir: i can see that

wenceslaus, to the stick: you are perfect

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wenceslaus: you are in no way a valid authority to dictate bedtime

rupert: what if i taught you how to lucid dream?

wenceslaus: ?

rupert: when you learn how to control your dreams, you can do anything there.

rupert: just go to sleep; i'll find you on the other side. i'll teach you there.

wenceslaus, ten minutes later: *is asleep*

amir: i can't believe that worked

rupert: me neither

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wenceslaus: percy i got a pet snake what should i name him?

amir: i’m sorry you got a pet wh-

percy: william snakespear

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amir: dang the power just went out

wenceslaus: don't worry, i got this

wenceslaus: *shakes rapidly and illuminates*

rupert: WHAT

wenceslaus: i swallowed a flashlight for fun

rupert: YOU SWALLOWED A WHAT

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wenceslaus: do you ever get water hungry?

rupert: thirsty?

wenceslaus: water hungry