I just read the last chapter of Once and a Future Thing and it was amazing! I was wondering if you could maybe tell us or write about Beth's adjustment to the world and the rest of her family's reactions? Thanks so much for your awesome writing! I always love when you update Little Pirates and I always enjoy your other stories!
Notes: Okay, I owe you the biggest apology. This has literally been in my inbox for half a year? I honestly don’t remember when this entered my inbox but I know it was a long time, so long that whoever sent this probably forgot all about it. I wouldn’t be surprised. Anyway, I hope you can forgive me for how long this fucking took. I was inspired to work on the Jim and Beth reunion by @clockadile and I knew that I couldn’t work on it or post something new OAFT-related without doing this. Now, I don’t really have Beth adjusting to life in Storybrooke, so much as her family’s reactions to her return, namely Harrison’s because he is legitimately the sanest and most well-adjusted member of the Jones family, and I say that objectively. He is. So, I felt his POV might be best for this chapter or coda or whatever. Anyway, a special thanks to @shireness-says and @optomisticgirl for allowing me to spam them with this nonsense. I hope you enjoy it. There’s a bit of Arabic in it, but it’s translated at the bottom.Summary: Beth’s quest for vengeance against her boyfriend’s killer goes a bit haywire when she and her former best friend Jim Hawkins are sent into thirty years into the past. Now, they must figure out how to find a way back to the future without wrecking the first meeting between Beth’s parents, Emma Swan and Killian Jones. Rating: T+Chapters: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Epilogue | Coda IWord Count: 4,300+
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The large clock on the wall said 6:30am and years ago that would have meant that it was way too early for him to be up, but Harrison Jones didn’t sleep anymore. Time had simply muddled together and all that mattered was that he got at least one cup of coffee on the hour or his brain was going to ooze out of his ears. He wasn’t quite what he was going to die from first – his heart exploding or exhaustion.
His fingers tap impatiently against the kitchen counter as he stared down the ancient machine gurgling to life. He never liked coffee, in fact he hated the very taste of it, but it become so integral to his daily functions that he no longer gagged at the bitter taste.
Feeling agitated, he began rummaging sluggishly through the cabinets in search of the sugar. When he found the container in the back of the spice shelf completely empty, he threw it against the wall while muttering dark curses under his breath. He knew exactly who was behind this crime against humanity. No one had a bigger sweet tooth than Wes and he had a tendency of finishing off products without replacing them.
He hoped his younger brother’s wifi wasn’t working this morning. The asshole deserved it.
Bitter and disappointed, he put as much cream into his coffee as he could. Taking a seat at the breakfast table, he picked up his kindle and began reading the last few chapters of his Ken Follet novel. The house was quiet at the moment and he was going to enjoy it while it lasted. As long as he had been alive, the Swan-Jones house had been one prone to chaos and any lull of silence was worth its weight in gold.
“Holy Christ, Harrison, you still live here? At twenty-seven? Jesus.”
The coffee mug slipped from his fingers, missing the table by a fraction of a hair and falling to the floor with a loud crash. Pieces of ceramic glass shattered as they made contact with the hard tile, scattering everywhere.
Harrison barely registered it.
He was too busy staring at a ghost.
She looked so much older and impossibly thinner than the last time he saw her, but there was no mistaking the green of those eyes and that riot mess of untamed dark hair. His sister, whom he hadn’t seen in three years, was standing in the doorway in a probably the most dramatic pirate gear that he had ever seen.
“خرة,” he breathed out in disbelief.
“What did you just swear at me?”
“In Arabic, yes,” he responded faintly.
“I’ve never been prouder of you,” she laughed merrily, tossing her hair over her shoulder. He continued to gape at her, unable to process what exactly was happening.
“I swear. Always have. I’m not a saint, despite what you all think.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his father move past his sister as if everything was normal and ordinary. Without even commenting on the broken mug at Harrison’s feet, Killian Jones made a beeline for the coffee machine and made himself a cup. He offered no comment on the fact his long-lost daughter was standing in his kitchen.
“Are you going to just gawk at me like an idiot or are you going to say something?” His sister asked somewhat impatiently, crossing her arms in front of her chest and arching her eyebrow at him mockingly.
“You’re alive?”
“Did you think I was dead?” She snorted in amusement at the question, but Harrison didn’t find anything about this to be funny.
“Well, yes.”
“Well, considering I’m standing right in front of you. I can assure you, I’m alive.”
“Considering how sleep deprived I am, I was convinced you were a hallucination.”
She scoffed at him, stepping forward. She rose up on the tips of her toes and poked him between the eyebrows like she used to do back when they were kids; back when she was trying to get his attention away from his guitar. It was annoying then and Harrison found it even more annoying now.
“I can’t believe you thought I was dead. I’m insulted.”
“Well, I haven’t heard from you in three fucking years, Beth. What the hell was I supposed to think?”
“That’s…fair…I guess,” she replied. She took a step backwards, shifting on her feet uncomfortably. The move reminded him of when they were younger. She always did that whenever she was caught doing something she shouldn’t.
Simpler times.
Her eyes shifted back towards their father who was still leaning across the cabinets, watching them both with tired eyes. She seemed to be silently pleading with him.
“Don’t look at me,” he said to her as he took a sip of his coffee. “This is your hole to dig out of, not mine.”
“Thanks Dad,” she replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
“No problem, minnow. I told you this wasn’t going to be easy.”
“Yeah, you got that right.”
“Well, honestly, Beth, what did you expect?” Harrison replied, raising to his height and crossing his arms in front of his chest, anger fueling him faster than caffeine could ever have. “I hate to be repetitive, but it can’t be ignored. It’s been three years. Three fucking years. No phone call. No note. No nothing. You just vanished. As if it was nothing. As if we were nothing.”
“I understand why you’re mad. Look, I get it —"
“No, Beth. You don’t get it,” he interrupted, nostrils flaring in anger.
She flinched at his words, but he having a hard time feeling sympathetic. Her disappearance had nearly torn them all apart. He still remembered the sound of their mother crying in the back room of the police station, the amount of times he had to walk their father back to the house because he had drunk himself into a stupor on the docks waiting for her to come back and how they had put Ned through counseling because he thought it was all his fault. He could see Wes in his mind’s eye running himself ragged trying to find the right locator spell and how he had torn through her room trying to find a single strand of hair to use. He could still recall the nights of he stared blankly at sheets of paper, unable to write music because his mind kept drifting back to her and the maelstrom of emotion she had left inside of him. His knuckles were still scarred for the times he had tried to beat his self-loathing and anger into a punching bag until it broke, and sand spilt onto the floor of his basement. She owed him at least seven bags.
“You don’t get it,” he repeated. “And you don’t get to say that because you weren’t here and that isn’t okay. This entire family almost crumbled when you left. Ned almost failed out his senior year and almost didn’t get into college.”
“Ned’s in college?” She whispered in disbelief.
“Yeah. He’s in his second year and if you were here, you would have known that!”
“That’s not fair, Har.”
“No. What’s not fair is that we’re still picking up the pieces that you left behind and now you think that can be just swept under the rug.”
“Harrison.” Their father straightened himself up, giving him a warning look. “Enough.”
“Are you kidding me right now? I know she’s your favorite but this is ridiculous! She broke our hearts! She broke your heart, Dad! You drank yourself into the bottom of a bottle waiting for her to come back! You’re just going to let bygones be bygones?”
“I don’t have favorites, Har.”
“Bullshit. Look me in the eye and tell me if I pulled the fucking nonsense she did that you wouldn’t punch me in the face if I dare showed my face afterwards.”
A muscle in Killian’s jaw ticked and there was a dangerous look in his eyes, but Harrison stopped being scared of his father the minute he was taller than him.
“Don’t go putting words into my mouth, lad. I never said any of that. There is a time to address things. And that time isn’t now. Right now, let’s focus on the fact that your sister is home.”
Harrison worried at his jaw, glaring at him. He took three steps forward, away from his sister and crowded into his father’s personal space. Any other man would have shrunken away from a fight with a man of Harrison’s stature, but not Killian Jones. He met his son’s gaze with his own furious blue eyes, straightening his shoulders and refusing to backdown. For a brief moment, Harrison thought his father might actually punch him.
“Good morning everyone.”
The tension in the room was immediately cut by the appearance of Nasira. She gave them all a tired smile as she walked into the kitchen, their three-month old son cradled in her arms. Harrison immediately turned his back on his father and ignored the choked noises Beth was making in the background. His focus was on the love of his life and his infant son.
“هلتتصرفبنفسك?” She asked him, raising her eyebrows at him as she rose up on her toes to kiss his chin. He was making an effort not to be insulted by her insinuations about his behavior.
“دائما.”
She gave him a look like she didn’t quite believe his reassurances but didn’t say anything to him as she adjusted her hold on their son and turning to address his sister.
“Hey Beth. It’s been awhile. When did you get in?”
All three Joneses jolted at Nas’s nonchalance. Her tone held no underlaying sarcasm or anger. It was a friendly, casual remark, as if she were talking to someone that she had seen almost every day of her life. Killian nearly spat out his coffee while Beth stared at her, clearly shaken by the question.
“She got in this morning,” Harrison answered tersely, scowling still.
“توقف,” Nas responded, striking Harrison across the abdomen in reproach. She then turned her attention back to Beth and smiled at her. “Your brother can be an ass.”
“I’m well aware,” Beth managed to croak out, still looking a bit uneasy. “You’re too good for him.”
“Absolutely not. I can be an ass too. We’re just the perfect amount of ass for each other,” Nas responded with a laugh. “But how have you been?”
“Busy. But you seem to have been busy as well…” She gestured to the child in Nas’s arms.
“Yeah, yeah, I definitely have,” Nas beamed. “Between him and his brother, I’ve been very busy.”
“B-brother?” Beth’s eyes went wide. “You have more than one?”
“Yep! I had Sam nearly three years ago. He was a bit of a surprise, but we loved him so much that we decided to have another. We’ve had Kam for three months now and he seems pretty good, so I think we’re gonna keep him.”
“You have babies.” Beth looked like she was one second away from having a panic attack.
“Yep!” Nas responded brightly, deliberately ignoring his sister’s obvious discomfort. “They’re great. I would ten out of ten recommend.”
“I don’t think that’s in the cards for me.”
“Nas, my love, my jewel,” Harrison spoke up, giving Nas a tight smile. “I’m so glad you’re happy and proud of our children, but I feel the need to point out to everyone, because clearly seems you’ve all forgotten, but Beth has been out of our lives for three years. She left us. For three years. Without a word.”
“Harrison, my love, my sweet, gentle, understanding man,” she responded, giving him the same time smile and now speaking a sugary tone that belayed a message that was more steely than sweet. “I’m so glad that you’re happy for my happiness, but I feel the need to remind you that this is Storybrooke. We deal with all sorts of things from time-traveling witches, cursed gems, megalomaniacs and not to mention brothers who try to pull political coups to try and steal your kingdom. This family drama? It’s honestly just a blimp on the radar. We’re getting married. Your sister is going to be in the wedding party. I’m not having the groom feuding with his sister.”
“You guys seriously aren’t married yet?” Beth asked in disbelief.
“No,” they answered at the same time, Harrison sounding angry while Nas was wistful.
Beth immediately turned to their father. Killian merely shrugged his shoulders at her and sipped his coffee.
“I don’t know why you keep looking at me for answers. You’re all adults. I have no control over your decisions.“
“We just haven’t found the right time,” Nas replied, giving a placating smile.
It was then that Kam started crying and Nas began making shushing noises, bouncing him up and down in hopes of calming him. Harrison envied his infant son’s ability to be so free with how he felt. He wanted to scream too.
Harrison opened his mouth to make a comment but was stopped when the front door opened loudly, and a very familiar voice called out.
“Good morning Vietnam!” Wes shouted merrily, making his way towards the kitchen. Harrison winced at the volume, afraid that his brother was going to wake his still sleeping three-year old and their mother.
Wes seemed to be in good cheer, chuckling to himself as he swaggered in. He was dressed in a black leather jacket and the tightest pair of pants that Harrison had ever seen. The smell of cigarettes immediately filled the kitchen and it was quite clear that he had come to the house straight from closing up the bar.
The smirk died the second Wes’s eyes land on their sister. For a brief moment, the entire room was silent, save for the tail end of Kam’s whimpering. No one spoke as Wes stared at Beth. Their eyes met for exactly five seconds. Harrison counted them.
“Nope,” Wes said quietly, shaking his head and turning on his heel.
“Wes!” Beth shouted, stepping forward to run after him.
He stopped at the sound of her voice. He turned again to face them, his face pinched with concern. He tilted his head and took a tentative step towards her.
“Guys,” he said slowly, still staring at their sister. “Don’t get mad at me, but I think I might be a little high from getting hotboxed all night at the Hole…because I’m legit seeing Beth right now and there’s no way that could possibly be happening right now.”
Beth scoffed, rolling her eyes at him.
“Good to see you haven’t changed a bit.”
“She’s snarking me right now. Fake Beth is snarking me, guys.”
“Fake Beth is Real Beth and she’s five seconds from punching you in the face.”
“And now, she’s threatening me!”
“We know,” Nas snorted. “She’s real and we can hear her and so help me, Westley Jones, if you’re high around my children, I will castrate you with a rusty spoon.”
“Oh,” Wes blinked dumbly before turning to look at their father. “Dad, I’m going to need your flask, because…damn.”
“Sorry, it’s empty,” Killian responded, not looking up from his coffee. It was very clear to everyone in the room that he was lying.
“Okay,” Wes responded, drawing a shaky breath before heading towards the sink. "This calls for drastic measures.”
He bent down and took out the emergency bottle of rum that they kept behind the dog treats. He uncorked it and placed it down on the counter before grabbing a clean glass from the drying rack. He contemplated it for about three seconds before placing the glass back down and deciding to drink straight from the bottle. He took a long drag from it before turning to address them.
“Okay, good,” he said, smacking his lips. “Good. Now I can deal with this.”
“Are you going to share that?” Beth asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Absolutely not. You owe me at least ten years of alcohol.”
“I was gone for only three!”
“Yeah, three years plus the seven extra years I’m going to spend talking about this in therapy. Welcome home, sis.”
“You’re an ass.”
“So are you,” he replied, taking another sip. “It runs in the family.”
“Why am I not surprised that you’re taking this so casually?” Harrison snapped, feeling irritated.
“Well, to be honest, I’m still not convinced I’m not hallucinating right now and it seems kinda silly to argue with a hallucination.”
“Trust me, I thought she was a hallucination too, but I got past that pretty quickly.”
“Yeah, well, you’re more well adjusted than me. I’m a little mad at my subconscious right. I mean, seriously? My sister? Why couldn’t my hallucinations be more hot? Kate Hudson? Sienna Miller? Giselle? Something I could actually enjoy seeing?”
Beth moved forward and hit Wes across the shoulder. He let out a yelp of pain, massaging his shoulder and glaring at her.
“See? Not a hallucination.”
“God, I forgot how vicious you are.”
“You’ve gotten soft without me.”
“Well, it’s not like I have any good sparing partners. The last time Harrison and I fought, he picked me up and tossed me over the fence like I was Benny Booth.”
“Benny Booth?” Nas asked, frowning in confusion.
“The asshole who nearly knocked up our sister. Harrison threw him over a fence, except he didn’t quite clear it and Moe French had a fence with an ass shaped cut out for like three weeks,” Wes explained with a quirk of his lips.
“He didn’t nearly knock me up,” Beth scowled.
“Henry bought you a pregnancy test. He nearly knocked you up,” Wes volleyed back at her.
At that comment, their father spat out his coffee and began to cough profusely. Harrison gave him a healthy whack on the back.
“He did not!”
“He did!”
“He. Did. Not.”
“Yes. He. Did. Your eggo was almost preggo.”
“Ugh! Stop talking! To think I actually missed you!”
“You actually missed us? Wow, maybe you’re the one whose gone soft.”
“Beth?”
Their mother was standing halfway down the stairs, staring at her daughter the same way Harrison and Wes had previously – like she was looking at a ghost. Beth returned her gaze with one of her. This time she didn’t look self-assured, however. She looked on the verge of tears.
“M-mo-mom?”
“Beth? Is that you? Is that my daughter?”
Emma didn’t wait for an answer. She raced down the stairs, nearly tripping over the final step. The stumble seemed to wake something inside of Beth because she finally regained her senses and was scrambling past Wes to meet her. Their mother grabbed onto their sister’s arms and yanked her almost violently forward. Beth fell into her arms and a loud, almost inhuman sob sounded through the entire kitchen as the two embraced each other, rocking side-to-side in a forceful but erratic sway.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Beth’s voice was muffled by Emma’s shoulder, but Harrison could still hear her words as she kept repeating them like a broken record.
“You’re home” was their mother’s mantra. He could tell by the waver in her voice that Emma was also crying.
Harrison couldn’t stand it.
It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He couldn’t handle this any longer. If he stayed, he was going to break something. His father and Wes’s easy acceptance of Beth had been hard enough to swallow but seeing their mother tearful and happy to see the daughter that had abandoned them was just too much.
Nas seemed to sense this.
“هلانتبخير?” she asked, looking at him in concern.
“Can you give me the baby?” he asked in a barely measured tone. “I’m thinking he could use some air.”
Nas studied his face for a moment, frowning. He briefly thought she might not comply with his request, but she gave him a curt nod and handed over their son without a word. Kam was whimpered loudly, clearly unhappy with being given over to his father.
“Thank you,” he murmured, bending down to kiss her cheek before making his escape.
While everyone was focused on the reunion between mother and daughter, Harrison made his escape with his son in his arms. He went out the back door and leaned against the deck railing, staring out into the backyard at the old rusted swing set. It had been a long time since anyone had used those swings and he tried to think of the last time Lucy had used them.
It was equally surreal and frightening to think that his own children would soon be old enough to use them.
“Do me a favor, bud, and don’t grow up too fast,” he murmured to the infant.
Kam stared up at him crankily but waving his arm in displeasure and hitting him across the nose. Harrison jolted at the unexpected contact, rearing his head back away from his son. He adjusted his hold so he could massage his injured nose. He felt equal parts proud and embarrassed about getting whacked in the face by a mere infant. It was almost comical.
“You might have more Jones in you than we realized,“ he mused aloud, trying to appease his unhappy son.
“Which is a bit shocking considering he’s your kid and you’re a helluva lot more Charming than you are Jones,” a voice called out.
Beth.
She was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed in front of her chest and looking at him with pensive expression.
“Aren’t you supposed to be chatting with Mom?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow at her.
“You know when you do that, you look disturbingly like Dad. Like really disturbingly like Dad. I didn’t really see it when we were kids, but I can see what everyone was saying now. You look a lot like him.”
“So I’ve been told,” he responded, eyebrow lifting even higher on his forehead. “And you’re avoiding the question.”
“I am,” she nodded.
“You know, when people ask questions, they kinda expect a response.”
“Those people should get used to disappointment.”
“They already have.”
Beth flinched, staring down at her feet and biting her lip.
“Look, I know you hate me, but —”
“Beth, I don’t hate you,” he cut her off. “I honestly wish I did. Things would be easier then. If I hated you, I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t have lost sleep worrying about you for the last three years. I wouldn’t have cried. I wouldn’t have let Nas stall the wedding for you.”
“Nas stalled the wedding? What!” She looked horrified.
“She accepted my proposal and refused to plan the wedding without you,” Harrison responded, trying to keep his voice even. “She said if you weren’t there, I would regret it for the rest of my life.”
“I’m sorry…”
“You can be sorry. I’m glad to hear it in fact, but that doesn’t mean I have to forgive you…”
“I know,” she sighed. “I know. And I don’t blame you.”
“I love you. You’re my sister and you’re always going to be my sister, and someday I’ll probably forgive you, but I can’t today. Not today. There’s been too much pain, Beth. I can’t just forget that. I can’t look at you without thinking about how Dad destroyed his liver over you, how Mom threatened the Dark One to find you and how they tracked to track you for years despite the fact you obviously bought protection spells against that. I can’t just forget that Ned went to actually depression and almost stopped playing baseball, which he loves more than life itself. Henry worried himself sick enough he had ulcers. And Wes? Wes was so focused on finding you, he forgot to shower and Gideon begged me to come over and literally force him away from his research. I can’t just get past that. I’m not like that them, I can’t forgive and forget like that. I know you guys like to call me perfect and if I was, I could forgive you, but I can’t.”
“Oh, Harrison, they haven’t forgiven me,” she laughed bitterly. “No one is letting me off the hook. They’re just in shock right now. Like you said, I’ve been gone for three years. Once that shock fades away, the anger will be there. Just you wait.”
“That anger is justified.”
“I know that,” she snapped, hot angry tears spilled down her cheeks. “Lord knows, I know that. I know I deserve it. I half expected to be disowned upon arrival.”
“We don’t do that.”
“There’s a first time for everything,” she replied, wiping her cheeks and turning away from him. “I’ve come to except the worst.”
“Expect the worst but hope for the best.”
“Hope is a very dangerous thing. Nothing worse than false hope.”
“Dangerous, but powerful. A little hope can go a long way, Beth. You’ve proved that, yourself.“
"You really are a Charming. You legit sound like Grandma.”
“I know you’re trying to mock me but I’m being serious,” Harrison replied, slightly frustrated. “The thing about hope is that…it can drive you, but it can’t take you all the way there. You have to put the work in too…No one is going to forgive you unless you actually try. Don’t just say you’re sorry. Show us you’re sorry. Until you put your money where your mouth is, nothing is going to get accomplished. I can’t forgive you until I see it.”
“That’s what Dad said…That the path to forgiveness…I need to put the work in.”
“He would know better than anyone else,” Harrison said gently. “And I’ve never known you to back down from a challenge.”
“Never,” she responded fiercely, eyes flashing with determined. And for the first time since he saw her, Harrison felt a flash of warmth. He had missed her fire.
“Good.”
He pushed himself away from the railing, tightening his hold on Kam as he did so. He made his way towards the doorway, his sister watching him warily. He bent forward and placed a brief kiss on her cheek.
“Nice to see you, Beth.”
“Nice to see you too, Har.”
–
خرة - shitهلتتصرفبنفسك - are you behaving yourself?دائما - alwaysتوقف - stopهلانتبخير - Are you okay?
Note: I promise I’m not dead. I’m just busy. There’s a lot of things I have in the works, I just gotta finish them. My life has kinda been taken over by law school, CSLB and other nonsense, but winter is coming and with it comes winter break. Hopefully I will get a lot of crap done during that time and maybe even finish A Once and Future Thing. But until then, enjoy this LP garbage. In this fic, Harrison is 15, Wes is 13, Beth is 11 and Neddy is 7. As always, it wouldn’t be possible without the nurturing and loving support of my favorite lady ever, @welllpthisishappening. Enjoy Daddy!Killian awkwardness!
Summary: With his wife away, Killian Jones has to deal with his eleven-year old daughter’s first period by himself.
Rating: T
Word Count: 4,900+
“Dad,” seven-year old Neddy Jones said with a hint of impatience. He was staring at his father pointedly and doing what Killian considered to be a startling impression of his mother with his hands resting on his hips, lips twisted into a deep frown and eyebrows set low.
Killian glanced up from his book and looked at his youngest with raised eyebrows. Without even looking down, he dog-eared the page and closed his book. Whatever was bugging Neddy, Killian was sure it was going to take up a bit of his time. The child had a habit of dropping some pretty complicated situations on his lap.
“Yes?” he asked, leaning forward and giving his son an expectant stare of his own.
“You need to go yell at Beth,” Neddy replied, hands leaving his hips and crossing in front of his chest; once more acting older than his years. Killian privately blamed his older children for this.
“What for, may I ask?”
“She’s hogging up our bathroom. She has her own bathroom in her own room but she’s hogging ours like a jerk. She’s been in there for like an hour and I really need to pee. Bad.”
Killian’s eyebrows moved from their raised position and furrowed as he digested his son’s words.
“There’s more than one bathroom,” he said after a moment. “Can’t you use the one downstairs?”
“That one’s broken. Wes killed it two days ago, remember?” Neddy replied, voice still filled with childish annoyance. “Can you go yell at her? I really need to pee, Dad.”
Killian sighed.
“Look, if you really need to go, you can use the one in our room…just don’t make a mess. I’ll go and check on your sister. If she’s been in there as long as you say, she’s probably sick.”
Neddy didn’t even bother to give a response, he immediately sprinted down the hallway towards his parents’ bedroom with an urgency that Killian hadn’t expected considering the lack of pee dance. He shook his head and casually walked down the hallway to where the boys’ bathroom was located. Killian gave the door a tentative knock.
“Go away Neddy before I beat your face in!” Beth’s voice sounded through the wood.
Killian blinked, not expecting that response.
“Not if I have anything to say about,” he replied, frowning. “Minnow, are you okay in there? Neddy says you’ve been in there for a while.”
There was long pause and Killian shifted on his heels as he waited for a response. A sense of nervousness started to creep in as the seconds ticked by.
“Dad…” Beth’s voice called. It no longer held the same aggression as before. If anything, it sounded scared. Alarm bells went off in his head.
“Beth…” Killian tried to keep his tone calm. “Elizabeth, are you okay?”
“Daddy…” Beth cracked open the door slightly so that she could peek out at him. Her face was pale and she was looking up at him with large green eyes; looking more Neddy’s age than her eleven years. “I think I’m dying…”
Killian’s eyes went wide.
“What do you mean you’re dying? Open the door! What’s going on!?”
“No!” she said, violently shaking her head. “Don’t come in! It’s embarrassing!”
“I don’t give a damn if it’s embarrassing,” Killian replied firmly, pushing against the door. His efforts were thwarted by the old-fashioned lock chain. The door whined and the chain rattled under the force of his push but didn’t budge any farther. Beth took a step back, looking startled. Killian couldn’t tell if it was because of his cursing or by his sudden attempt to open the door. “If you’re hurt, I need to know about it.”
“No! I don’t want you to see!” Beth said firmly, face flushed as she shook her head forcefully. Beth had inherited her mother’s ivory skin and just like how it was with Emma, her face went bright red at the drop of a hat. Whatever it was going on, Killian’s daughter was very much embarrassed of it and he couldn’t possibly imagine what it was.
“What don’t you want me to see, Minnow?” Killian asked softly, tilting his head to get a better look at inside the bathroom. All he could see his daughter and an empty roll of toilet paper that had been thoughtlessly thrown on the floor. “I’m worried here. If you don’t want to show me what’s wrong, can you at least tell me so I possibly do something about it from out here?”
Beth teetered her spot by the door, leaning backwards and curling her fingers around the edge of the old beaten up sink. She bit her lip in a fashion that was similar to Emma’s when she was struggling with something; face still bright red.
“I’m bleeding,” she said after a moment. “Down there…”
She gestured quickly to the apex of her thighs and Killian’s eyes bulged comically as he suddenly realized the meaning behind her words. Without even thinking, he stepped back a few steps until his back hit the wooden rails that surrounded the stairway. His face turned its own shade of red as a sense of panic took hold. This was something he was not equipped for. This was a job for his wife, the Savior. He immediately turned around, clutching the rails like they were a lifeline and peered down at the ground floor below.
“Swan!” he yelled. “Swan! I need you! Swan!”
No response.
“Swan!” he called again. “Come on, Swan!”
“She’s not here!” Wes called from he could only assume was the living room. The boy was becoming a regular couch potato. “She said she was going to talk to Regina about unicorn blood or something I kinda don’t care about but she said she would be gone for an hour and we all know that’s a lie.”
“Shit,” Killian muttered under his breath. He ran his fingers through his hair and glanced back at the bathroom where his daughter now looked terrified. He hadn’t seen her looked this spooked since she was four years old and having dreams about her heart being stolen.
“I’m dying aren’t I, Daddy?” she asked, tears starting to brim her eyes. It hurt him to see her like this. Beth, out of all of his children, was the most fearless and rarely ever cried. Not even when she broke her arm when she was six-years old had she shed a tear.
Killian swallowed and gave his daughter smile that was meant to be reassuring but only came off as uneasy. If she had been dying, this might have been simpler for him to handle but that wasn’t the case. His daughter now had…. women’s issues and he wasn’t entirely unprepared for it. When Killian had held Beth in his arms for the first time, he had imagined reading her bedtime stories and blowing raspberries against her baby belly. He never imagined this.
“No, sweetheart,” he said. “You’re not dying. What you’re going through right now is completely and utterly normal. You’re perfectly okay.”
“But it hurts…” she replied with a whimper that made Killian hate himself a bit.
“I know, I know,” he said gently. “And we’re going to do something about it. Why don’t you change and get some toilet paper to deal with…the mess…and how about we go shopping for some supplies to make you feel better? Sounds good, aye?”
“I’m not dying?” she asked again, still looking up at him with big eyes. The flush was gone and now she was pale again, freckles standing out in stark contrast against the pallor of her cheeks.
“No,” he said. “Not dying. Just change and we’ll go to the store and I’ll do my best to explain what’s going on…Honestly, this is something your mother is better suited for, but she’s with Regina so we’re going to have to make do, love.”
“Okay,” she mumbled, moving to close the door. Killian stepped forward and placed his hand against the wood to stop her efforts.
“Hey, listen to me for a moment,” he said softly.
Beth pursed her lips briefly but then stopped, nodded and waited for him for speak.
“I just need to emphasize that what is happening right now is completely natural and you are not dying. You’re perfectly and wonderfully fine right now. Unfortunately, what’s you’re going through is a woman’s thing and I don’t have a lot of answers, but what I do know is that you’re going to be okay. Do you believe me?”
She glanced down at her feet for a moment before she responded with a small nod. Killian let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
“Good,” he said. “Now, get changed and we’ll go. Aye?”
“Aye.”
When she closed the door, Killian leaned back against the rails and placed his hand over his face. He sighed for a moment, rubbing his temples and laughing a bit because he couldn’t help himself. He had been woefully unprepared of this element of parenting.
Twenty minutes later, Killian was driving his daughter to Dark Star Pharmacy in what could be considered one of the most awkward and uncomfortable moments of his very long life. Beth was curled up in the passenger’s seat, wearing one of Harrison’s shirts, which were far too larger for her small frame and looked as if it were swallowing her whole. The questionable ensemble was complete with a pair of a yoga pants that Killian wasn’t sure were entirely appropriate to be worn in public at her age but considering the look of irritation on her face and his own experience of dealing with his wife while she was experiencing her courses, he knew better than to comment on her appearance. It was honestly the least of his worries as he was fumbling through the worst explanation of human anatomy in the history of the realms.
“What’s you’re going through…the blood and all that business…it’s called menstruation,” he said awkwardly after a moment.
“Menstruation,” she repeated, cocking her head to the side as if she were taking a moment to ponder the term. “But you said it’s a girl thing.”
“It is,” he confirmed with a nod, focusing on the road rather than looking at his daughter.
“Then why does it have the word ‘men’ in it?” she asked with a frown.
Killian blinked at the question.
“I…I don’t know,” he replied, wanting to shrug his shoulders. “It’s just what it’s called, but in this realm, I believe it’s often referred to as a period.”
Beth scrunched her nose, not looking at all impressed.
“Why?”
“Good question, but once again, I don’t know the reasons for the nomenclature…”
“Nomenclature?”
“That is a fancy term used to describe why people describe things the way they do. It was actually one of your brother’s SAT words for him to practice,” Killian replied, relieved to find another topic to discuss. He would much rather talk about the confusion and absurdity of SAT testing than female biology.
“I’m eleven, Dad,” Beth replied flatly. “SATs aren’t for like a million years away.”
“Right,” he chuckled. “My mistake.”
“So…this whole bleeding menstruation period whatever thing…why is it happening?” she asked, tentatively biting her lip and pulling her knees up to her chest.
Killian wanted to scold her about getting her dirty sneakers on the seat but thought better of it considering the circumstance. Beth seemed more inquisitive and compliant at the moment, but he knew if she were anything like her mother that was subject to change at a moment’s notice.
“Ummm…well,” Killian muttered awkwardly. He felt the strongest urge to scratch the back of his ear, but the curse of being one-handed meant that he had to keep his only viable hand on the wheel at all times. “It’s…it’s something that women deal with a monthly basis…so once a month it happens…and it’s kinda your body’s way of prepping and clearing out for a baby…”
Beth gave him a disgusted look, wrinkling her nose. Once more, Killian was reminded of his wife and how she looked whenever she was grossed out by something. Everyone loved to say that Beth was his baby, but her mannerisms and her iron spine were all from Emma. Sometimes he wondered if they should have named her Emma Junior, Emmalita or Emmaline rather than Elizabeth, considering how eerily similar she was to her mother at times.
“That’s gross! And stupid! I don’t want a baby,” she commented, resting her head on top of her knees.
“And you shouldn’t until you’re 35 years old and married,” Killian replied with a chuckle. “But your body doesn’t know that so it just does what it does just in case you decide you want to have a child, which is why you bleed every month. All just in case and to keep you healthy.”
“Wait! Wait! Wait!” Beth exclaimed, eyes going wide as she lifted her head up from her knees to look at him in sudden horror. “I’m going to bleed…down there…every month? Are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m not kidding. For roughly five days every month until you’re older.”
“That super sucks!” she groaned.
“Aye, it does suck but that’s biology for you, Minnow…”
“Do boys go through anything like this?” Beth grumbled, glaring at him.
“I’m afraid not,” Killian replied ruefully. “Boys have different things going on with them, but nothing quite like what goes on with girls…I’m not sure how to describe it to you aside from it’s just different.”
“Ugh, being a girl sucks. Why couldn’t I be a boy?!” Beth mumbled, banging her chin against her knees.
“Maybe, but not all the time. If you were a boy, you probably wouldn’t have gotten the room with its own bathroom. You would probably have to share with your brothers.”
“Yeah, that’s don’t make up for it,” Beth mumbled, narrowing her eyes at him.
“Fair enough,” Killian replied with a rueful grin.
The conversation lulled there into an uncomfortable silence between father and daughter. Beth decided to spend the time drumming her fingers against her right shin and glaring out the window as if she was pissed off with the world. Killian occasionally glanced at her out of the corner of his eye to make sure she was okay, but did little more than that until he had driven them into the parking lot of the pharmacy.
Killian didn’t have much experience with feminine products. His dealings with them were generally picking up whatever brand Emma put down on the grocery list for the week and pushing past them in the medicine cabinet to get his razor. To say that he was overwhelmed with the massive number of products in the women’s health aisle was an understatement. He knew what Emma wanted, but he wasn’t necessarily certain that he wanted to purchase O.B. non-applicator tampons for his eleven-year old daughter who probably had no idea what to do with them.
Oh.
Oh shit.
A new horrifying thought entered his brain. Was he going to have teach her how to use them? The very idea made him want to be violently ill. He had a basic concept of how tampons worked but it was one thing to know how they worked, it was an entirely different thing to explain and teach his daughter how to use them. He desperately needed Emma. He couldn’t do this.
“Are you having trouble, young man?” A kind elderly woman asked him as she grabbed a package of Poise liners off the shelf next to him.
“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Killian responded without giving much thought, scratching at the patch of skin behind his ear.
“Well, what’s the issue?” the woman asked, raising her eyebrows at him.
“My daughter…she…she’s experiencing…ladies’ issues for the first time,” he said awkwardly. He turned to gesture to his daughter only to find she wasn’t there. He went pale for a moment, eyes frantically scanning his surroundings for where she might have gone to.
“I’m assuming your daughter is the grumpy little girl in the very large shirt over in the candy aisle,” the woman said in amusement.
“Sounds like her,” he muttered, face flushing red. “But yeah, I have no idea what to get her. This isn’t my element, I’m afraid.”
“Well, i can’t say I’m surprised. Most men avoid the subject like the plague. My husband wouldn’t ever have thought to deal with this on his own, let alone step a foot in this aisle. It’s nice to know that some fathers aren’t afraid of a little biology,” she replied. “How old is she?”
“Eleven,” Killian responded with a small smile.
“That’s a little on the young side,” the woman commented, nodding. “Normally most girls don’t experience that until they’re twelve, but it’s not unheard for some girls as young as eight to get it.”
Killian nodded, unable of what else to say to something like that. He genuinely had no real basis on the subject aside from his observations of his wife and what he had read about when it came to human anatomy.
The woman didn’t seem to be looking for a response however. Instead she was scanning the shelves that Killian had just been perusing. After a moment, she pulled a pink and blue box covered in multicolored stars and hearts off the rack and handed it to him.
“I’m not sure how familiar you are with feminine products, but these are sanitary napkins aimed at young girls like your daughter. They come with pretty self-explanatory instructions, so you shouldn’t have to do too much.”
“Thank you,” he replied, shifting in place and nodding. He looked at down at the box that read “Kotex Tween,” feeling a bit foolish. He couldn’t help but feel like the little stars and hearts were mocking him a bit for not noticing them before. He gave the woman a small smile and shook the box at her in absence of a wave. As he turned to leave, she placed a hand on his arm.
“I know this probably wasn’t the most comfortable thing for you to deal with, but I’m glad you met it head on instead of just relying on your wife to handle “women’s things.” And for that, I want you to know that I think you’re a great dad,” she said gently. “And I’m going to give you a little more advice. I don’t know your daughter but most girls are little sensitive around this time. Be gentle with her. Get her chocolate. My granddaughter loves Cadbury so I recommend that. Lots of water and some Advil help. A hot water bottle or a heating pad do wonders.”
“Thank you truly,” Killian repeated with a small smile, mentally filing away the information she had just given him. “I’ll keep all of this in mind.”
When he went to find his daughter and check out, she was still in the candy aisle and staring at the assortment of chocolates with some akin to desperation in her eyes. Upon seeing her, Killian switched the Kotex box over to balance on his left hip so he could hook his arm around Beth. He leaned over to place a kiss on the crown of her head. Beth squirmed a bit under the attention, but didn’t push him away.
“See something you like?” he asked her gently, smoothing his hand down her shoulder.
“I really, really, really want chocolate, Dad,” she muttered, looking up at him with those big green eyes of her eyes. The pitiful pleading look she gave him was complete with a small pout.
“Well, just pick whatever you like, Minnow. We can have a nibble and watch some movies,” he replied with a chuckle.
“Really? Anything I want?” she asked excitedly. For the first time since the incident began, Killian saw his daughter smile.
“Aye,” he responded, giving her another kiss on the head. “Whatever you want. I have good authority that Cadbury is a good brand to go with.”
“Cadbury,” Beth repeated. She glanced at the rack where a stack of purple chocolate bars baring the name “Cadbury” were placed and cocked her head at him. “That’s expensive though. Mom never lets me get that stuff.”
“Let me worry about that, okay?” Killian replied with a smile.
Beth tentatively reached for one of the Cadbury bars on the rack, looking at him with questioning eyes. He nodded encouragingly at her. She took one of the larger bars which had been labeled as milk chocolate. Internally, Killian cringed at her choice. While he wasn't much of a chocolate person, he did have a preference for dark chocolate over milk chocolate; the latter was too sweet for him. He preferred his confections a little on the bitter side.
"You sure you just want one bar?" he asked, nodding his head back at the variety of candy bars in front of them.
"You mean I can have more than one?" she asked, blinking.
"Of course. Though this is more of a special occasion thing, love. Don't think every time we go to the store I'm going to let you buy more than one," he said, soothing a hand through her hair.
"Cool," she grinned, grabbing another bar from the rack. This time it was a dark chocolate bar. She smiled and handed it over to him. "Now we can both have one."
"I don't need chocolate, Minnow," he said, shaking his head and placing the bar back on the rack. "It's a lovely thought but this is about you."
"Yeah but I want you to have one too,” she replied with a frown.
“I don’t need any chocolate, Beth,” he repeated.
Beth gave him a hard look, once more reminding Killian of his wife. She pursed her lips for a moment before picking up the dark chocolate bar again. This time she didn’t hand it to him.
“This is what I want,” she said firmly. “But you gotta promise on the Jolly Roger that if I get full that you’ll finish it for me.’
“You want me to promise on the Jolly Roger?” Killian repeated, eyebrows raising.
“Yup,” she replied, popping the ‘p’ and giving him a smirk that was more Jones than Swan. “And on Mom too. That’s how I know you’re serious and won’t break your promise.”
Killian couldn’t help it, he laughed; shaking his head at the absurdity of the moment.
“Alright,” he chuckled. “I swear on both on the Jolly Roger and on your mother, bless her, that I will finish your candy bar if you get full.”
The smile that he received after he finished speaking made it worth the ridiculous promise. Beth was grinning ear-to-ear, looking more like the child he knew than the grumpy little girl he had gone into the store with. She reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers and swung them merrily between them as they approached the counter and made their purchases.
Upon arrival back at the house, Killian handed the plastic bag to his daughter and gave her a gentle smile.
“Everything you need is in there, love. There’s directions on how to use…the things…I’m going to kick your brother off the couch and get you a heating pad and we’ll have a quiet afternoon. Sound alright?” Killian said gently.
Beth blinked.
“You’re kicking Wes out of the man cave?” she asked dubiously.
“It’s not a man cave, love,” Killian replied with a snort. “It’s our living room and he can’t monopolize the television forever. If anything, this is good for him. I’m starting to get worried that he’s putting down roots.”
Beth shook her head, once more giving him a doubtful look.
“Yeah, good luck with that,” she muttered under her breath as she made her way up the stairs.
As expected, Killian’s thirteen year was lazing on the couch in the living room, watching some cartoon show. His feet were swinging absently in the air and Killian was certain that there was a mark on his cheek from holding his head in the cradle of his palm for too long. His overgrown blonde hair was pulled into a haphazard bun, but Killian still could see the greasiness of it that heralded it’s unwashed state. It was quite obvious that his son had not showered the entire weekend. As he walked into the room, Wes made no move, not even a grunt in acknowledgement, but Killian wasn’t expecting any. At least, not until he took the remote laying abandoned on the couch and promptly shut the television off. The effect was immediate. Wes turned around and glared at him.
“I was watching that,” he said in annoyed tone.
“Yeah, and now you’re going to be a good lad and take a shower,” Killian replied, unimpressed with the attitude. “You reek.”
Wes promptly raised his arm and tilted his head to give himself a quick sniff. He took a moment to consider the smell and then shrugged casually.
“I’m not too bad. I’ll take one later,” he said dismissively, reaching for the remote.
Killian pulled it out of his reach.
“No,” he said firmly. “You’re taking a shower now and your sister and I are going to have a turn with the television. She’s not feeling well.”
“If she’s not feeling good then she should go to bed, sleep and not being such a whiner,” Wes responded, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You know things would be much easier if you just let us have our own televisions.”
“Not on your life,” Killian replied, frowning at him. “You would never leave your room if we did that. Though, now that I’m thinking about it, that isn’t necessarily such a bad thing.”
“Hilarious Dad,” Wes responded, rolling his eyes. “But in all seriousness, I will go take a shower and even let you have the TV for the rest of the day if you and Mom get me my own TV that I don’t have to share with anyone.”
“This isn’t a negotiation,” Killian said, narrowing his eyes at him. “I think you forget who the captain of this ship is. Go upstairs, take a shower and maybe do your homework for once. Your time with the television is done.”
“And if I don’t?” Wes asked, raising an eyebrow challengingly.
Killian gave him a mirthless smile, drawing himself to his full height and narrowing his eyes at the boy. Killian Jones, fun-loving Dad, took a seat on the bench as Captain Hook took over.
“If you don’t, then you’re grounded. No television. No phone. No computer. No Gideon. And I will make you scrub the entire deck of the Jolt by yourself. Sound like fun?”
Wes glared at him, letting out a moody huff before getting up and stomping out of the living room. Under his breath, he muttered unkind things about his father and something about “ not fair.” Killian just shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. Honestly, why had they decided to have kids again?
Killian set up the Netflix queue before going into the downstairs closet near the bathroom and pulling out Emma’s old heating pad. It hadn’t been used since Neddy was a toddler, but Killian couldn’t imagine it not still working. As he was setting it up, Beth returned downstairs. She was still wearing Harrison’s gigantic football t-shirt, but she had changed into a different pair of leggings.
“You alright?” he asked gently.
“Yeah,” she said, tugging her hair behind her ear. “I feel like I’m wearing a diaper though.”
Killian blinked, giving her a perplexed look.
“I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing,” Killian responded, chuckling a bit. “You’re going to have to ask your mother about that.”
“Speaking of Mom, we can make her milk dud popcorn,” Beth asked, swinging the plastic bag that held the chocolate bars and giving him another pout.
“I think the chocolate is enough, love. I’m trying to make you feel better, not give you any more cavities than you already have. I may not take you to the dentist, but I’ve seen the bill,” Killian replied dryly.
Beth hopped on the couch, sighing dramatically.
“Worth a shot,” she mumbled, before turning a bit on her side to face him. “What are we watching?”
“Whatever you want to watch,” he said with a shrug. “When your mother isn’t feeling well, she loves to watch Princess Bride, Love Actually and She’s the Man. I’m willing to suffer through them if that’s what you want to watch.”
Beth wrinkled her nose at him, leaning up a bit to give him an unimpressed look.
“Really? Chick flicks? Do I look like Grandma Snow to you?” she scoffed and rolled her eyes in the most teenager way possible. He had no doubt she learned that one from her brothers. “What about Men in Black? Or Mad Max? Or the Terminator?”
“I’m pretty sure you’re too young for any of those movies,” Killian remarked, raising his eyebrows.
“Oh, but I love them! Especially the Terminator! Arnold is like bigger than Har and super awesome!” Beth responded before lowering her voice to make one of the worst Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions that Killian had ever head. “Come with me if you want to live!”
“Alright,” he chuckled, settling down next to her and kissing her hair. “We can watch the Terminator, but you have to swear on the Jolly Roger that you won’t tell your mother about this.”
Beth snorted.
“I swear on the Jolly Roger that I won’t tell Mom about this,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Not that matters because you’re going to totally tell her anyway.”
“Perhaps,” Killian remarked as he reached over to grab the remote and searched for their feature film on the Netflix queue. “But that’s up to me. Now hush and let’s watch your movie.”
“The Little Pirates” - by itrustyoutokillme / @artistic-writer
Fanart to accompany the FANTASTIC fic series of the same name by the fabulously talented @distant-rose which you can read on her blog or AO3
Absolutely check out her blog/fic because it is one of the best domestic cs fics you will ever find! I wanted to create a piece of fanart to go with the series, and a i was humbled when i was given permission - and also BIG thanks to Rose for actually putting up with my constant questions about eye colours, face shapes, freckles and being there to hear me vent when we had to redo Wes (who is henceforth known to me as ‘The Glorious Bastard’ because of it lol)
So, if you DO know the LP verse, then i present to you, Harrison, Wes, Beth and Ned...and Black Spot the dog :D
‘The four Jones siblings couldn’t be more different: Harrison was honest and honorable, Wes was cunning and witty, Beth was brazen and flirtatious while Neddy was quiet and focused. Despite their differences, they would fight for one another without question.’
Please like, reblog to share! Do not claim as your own, and if you do share, make sure you tell people how awesome LP is :D
