Discover Top Posts Tagged with #westcoastfun

What do you fantasize about?

A person reached out to tell me that I got it wrong, many women love being monogamous and exploring otherwise is dangerous. So I thought it might be helpful to summarize some of the facts. Yes monogamy is desired by many people, and it is the preferred relationship style for the majority. However, most people fantasize and have desires about something other than monogamy. And many people are not-monogamous

In regards to fantasies, the vast majority of men and women fantasize about group sex. 95% of men and 87% of women report having group sex fantasies. It makes you realize that the people not having group sex fantasies are in the minority.

Most men and women fantasize about being in an open relationship. 79% of men and 62% of women. This generally goes higher if either individual is non-heterosexual. That makes sense to me, it’s very arousing to imagine you have a loving stable relationship and a sexual relationship on the side.

When it comes to cuckolding threesomes, again this is a very common fantasy for both men and women. It’s important to note, there are two types - exhibitionistic sex where you are the one engaged in sex and voyeuristic sex where you are watching your partner. Men like both 50% fantasize about being watched by their partner and 52% fantasize about watching their partner. For women it’s a little different, 40% of women fantasize about having their partner watch them and 26% of women fantasize about watching their partner. Again this goes higher if the individuals are non-heterosexual.

So in general most people fantasize about group sex, the majority fantasize about being in an open relationship and a large segment fantasize about cuckolding. Many people share these fantasies with each other and it’s becoming more and more common for couples to be monogamish. They are not monogamous, but they are not swingers. Somewhere in between.

@lustysexappeal made some comments which I want to address.

Cuckolding - She mentioned that the use of the cuckolding is probably misleading for many couples particularly if you're new to this. For my post, I changed the word from cuckolding to threesomes. Threesomes are essentially the most common fantasies for a couple. Furthermore, most couples aren't into the humiliation aspect often associated with the cuckold dynamic.

Younger People - She pointed out she was surprised that number of woman fantasizing about their husband with another woman is high, possibly due to younger people being open-minded. Most likely that's true. Other research shows the younger generations being more experimental with sex and with relationships.

Cuckolding is a sexual practice in which one is aroused by the idea of watching or listening to their partner have sex with someone else. I’

#westcoastfun

Men like to Watch - Women like to be Center of Attention

For people reading here, it’s probably clear. Men like to watch. Women like to be watched. That’s why a hotwifing dynamic works. When it comes to including others, men fantasize about watching their wife with another man. Women fantasize about being with another man and being watched by their husband.

The research proves it out. Men want to watch. Women want to be watched. Why? The researchers don’t know. They speculate that perhaps women are taught to be the center of sexual attention and for men to pursue women, perhaps it’s male competition. competitive elements. Perhaps it’s just a natural dynamic. Women would naturally have multiple partners. Sometimes a man would watch, other times he would join in.

The interesting bit is that men who fantasize about this have a higher self-esteem than those who don’t. It takes a strong man to encourage his wife to enjoy herself with another man.

#westcoastfun

Women Need More Than 1 Sex Partner

Anthropologists and sex researchers have puzzled over why women are multi-orgasmic and men aren’t. It really doesn’t make sense if your model is that men are more sexual. Shouldn’t men be able to have multiple orgasms quicker than women? Yet it makes perfect sense when you realize women evolved for having multiple partners.

Of late, scientists are starting to believe that women who had greater orgasmic capabilities had greater survival outcomes thereby passing their genes onto their children. This was partly reproductive. A woman’s chance of getting pregnant was greater if she had sex with multiple men. Pretty simple. In addition, the offspring's survival was greater if she had sex with multiple partners outside of her most fertile time of the month. Multiple partners would help to take care of her and their children. Consistent sex led to deeper social connections.

Women evolved to have multiple partners. That was the natural order until relatively recently when the practice of 1 woman for 1 man took hold.

All of this is confirmed by people in the lifestyle. A man’s sex drive remains fairly stable even with multiple partners. However, a woman’s sex drive skyrockets when she has multiple partners. The way it takes shape might be different. Some women like a more connected approach with 1 or 2 additional sex partners. Some women need the variety of many casual sex partners. Either way, the husband benefits from having a more confident empowered wife. A happy wife equals a happy life.

More husbands are realizing this and helping their wives by encouraging them to take on additional sex partners.

#wcf #westcoastfun

The Prospect

Meeting our latest prospect has gotten me thinking about what we look for in a third or other couples. It’s pretty simple. Can the person actually participate in a triad or quad relationship? In the case of meeting a man, it’s do they actually get the dynamics of being part of a triad. It’s very much a 3-way dynamic. The other man needs to understand that and get excited by that.

First the person needs to separate love from play or sex. My wife and I are looking for extra play partners for her, not romantic partners. I believe it’s easier for men to do this than women. Yet talking with women, I know that’s not true. Whatever the case, the person needs to be able to separate that this is a play or sexual experience and not a romantic experience at least for us at this point in time.

Second, the person needs to acknowledge they are participating with a couple, not a single woman. That’s a skill that many don’t have as most think of a relationship involving two people only. The other man needs to understand that my wife will include me in their play. That might be in person or sharing the information. They need to be comfortable with that and excited by that.

Third, they need to understand when to step away. Participating with a couple means, our relationship is our priority. The extra relationships are a fun experience, but not our highest priority. That requires a person who is very secure and not looking to fill a gap, a wounded soul and not needing attention every weekend. Perhaps my wife will be in touch during the time apart or not.

Fourth, the person needs to value our desire for discretion. We really don’t want our friends, neighbors or employers to know what we do in the bedroom. It’s a fine balance. We are getting more comfortable blurring the lines with certain social circles. Yet, there are other social circles which are clearly a no-fly zone. A person who can present and perhaps fade away when appropriate is valued.

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Threesomes are Better with Someone You Love

As what was once taboo becomes more common, researchers are catching up. 30% of Americans have reported having a multi-sex partner experience. The attendance of younger women at play parties have sky-rocketed outpacing men.

All of this begs the question, do people actually enjoy their threesome experience. The survey says yes. A key influencer is whether or not the experience involves a romantic partner. If it does include a romantic partner, the satisfaction is better and the likelihood of doing it again is higher.

The researchers speculate that’s because people enjoy having sex with someone they know and feel comfortable with, have more open communication with a romantic partner, and enjoy the pursuit of the “hunt.” In regards to the later, the researchers describe it as a “thrilling bonding activity.”

What I love about this study, is that it normalizes the most common fantasy people have, group sex. Instead of being taboo, including others in your couple sex life can be exhilarating and a strong bonding experience.

-- An Empirical Investigation of Variations in Outcomes Associated with Heterosexual Adults’ Most Recent Mixed-Sex Threesome Experience

#westcoastfun

Always Exploring

My wife and I went out Saturday night with a guy I met at the climbing gym. He’s a bit younger, cutting edge with a mohawkish haircut and tattoos. Kinda looks like a Viking. Despite his looks, he’s very easygoing. I knew my wife would like hanging out with him. Smart, fit, attractive.

The fun part of this lifestyle is that you never really know who might be interested. I know my wife would like him. He’s respectful and easy-going. He’s currently single and looking to have fun. I figured he would like my wife. She’s attractive, fun and able to connect with people.

Dinner was very chill, my wife was sure to pay him attention. A little flirting, soft touches. It’s partly her nature to begin with, but if she likes a man she’s happy to show it. And she did.

Previously, she would have her guard up and wonder what would be appropriate. Now, she’s more than happy to encourage respectful men she finds attractive. She knows that I like it when she does. She likes the attention and banter. And guys enjoy getting the attention from a married woman. It all works.

Some would say you shouldn’t involve people you might run into on a regular basis. And others argue that acquaintances like this can be fine. It’s really up to the couple. Either way, we just take it slow. We’ll go out with him again and dial up the heat.

#westcoastfun

Dating While Married

In the beginning, I had fears - one was that there would be no one out there for my wife to play with,

Well, there’s plenty of people interested, if you know where to look. According to the stats, something like 45% of couples 30-44 are not monogamous. That’s probably higher in certain places. Something like a ⅓ of couples have had sex with another with consent of their romantic partner. If they haven’t done it, they probably have thought about it as a fantasy. It’s the most popular sex fantasy for Americans. So the number of people who are doing it, have done it or thought about it is pretty high.

Those numbers go even higher in certain social situations. For example, if a man agrees to get “coffee” with your wife, there’s a high likelihood he’s open to exploring. Not 100% certain, but high chance. Those odds go even higher if he invites your wife out for “coffee.”

And likewise, if a man is open to another man spending time with his wife or going out for drinks, there's a good chance they are open to exploring.

It's not 100% guaranteed, but many people aren't really monogamous.

#westcoastfun

The Thrill of the Hunt

My wife and I went to a friend's Day of the Dead party. We met a nice man who sparked some interest from my wife. He’s good looking, Brazilian, but not Latin, shifting between unaccented English and Portuguese. He's a part-time DJ, not sure what else he does, but we all got along and his set and the venue sounded fun. I could tell my wife found him attractive.

He offered to give me his contact information, but I had left my phone at home. It had gotten wet, which is a story for another time. It was cute as my wife got his number.

During the party, my wife spent a moment taking in the view. I went over to her. I could feel something, it was our new friend eyeing my wife. I was not perturbed, nor excited. Just aware. Aware of the potential. My wife likes to dance, she was intrigued by the man. I’m sure she'll get an invite.

It’s been a bit since we had someone interesting. I’ll plant a few seeds about how it would be fun to hear him DJ. I’m looking forward to him reaching out to my wife.

#westcoastfun