#when asking kiki a question...

[onceandfuturekiki]

Oh my gosh your post on Stalia was spot on I recently wrote a post saying exactly that. Lol I think I even used the word stagnant when describing them there is literally no character growth in their relationship. I also made the point that a lot of Stalia shippers have this little quote they are using "our history is still being written or something" and I'm like what future do you imagine for them Idk about you but I know next to nothing about Malia independent from stiles what does SHE want?

It's so ridiculous because there was the perfect opportunity for some kind of development during their split. For Malia to evolve, even a little bit, as a character. For Stiles to develop a little more understanding of the mistake he made. For the relationship to develop a little more maturely. Instead it meant absolutely nothing. It was entirely pointless. It was a completely wasted opportunity. 

The best thing for Malia as a character would be to get her away from her relationship with Stiles. One of the huge problems with her character as that she revolves almost entirely around her relationship with a man.

"Our history is still being written"? Not really. It's not really being written because nothing is happening. It's not being written. It's just laying there lifelessly. Not doing anything. Not growing. Not changing. Not developing. 

[onceandfuturekiki]

It's fucking hilarious that you bitch about CS and Hook constantly pushing Emma to be with him, but you love stydia. So hypocritcal.

It's not the same situation at all.

The relationship between Stiles and Lydia has evolved from where they were in season 1 and parts of season 2. If the relationship was still that way, I doubt I would ship it, and I certainly wouldn't want them together.

But it's not. He does not constantly push her. He has not pursued her romantically since probably season one. Maybe a bit in season 2. Since season 3, he has accepted that they're just friends, close friends, and hasn't made any kind of romantic move or display. They've just been friends. And having romantic feelings for your friends does not automatically mean that you're relentlessly pursuing them or pushing them to date you. That ended for Stiles when he took Lydia off that pedestal.

And that's the problem with CS. Hook still has Emma up on that pedestal and he doesn't view her as a real person. His pursuit of her has been relentless, it has ignored her objections and rejections. Rather than accepting her wishes and refusals and putting aside his romantic feelings for friendship, he continued to push. Continued with unwanted advances and flirting. Continues because he doesn't think that "no" is a real answer.

[onceandfuturekiki]

I was going through the stydia tag and saw your answers to anons about the anti-stydia tag and man am i glad there is someone around who feels the same way as i do. I was actually getting sick of everything.

People just need to let it go. Take a step back, take a few breaths and look at things rationally. I think if they did that, they'd realize the reality of the situation and just stop. It doesn't matter if the blog is being run rudely and disrespectfully or if it's being run well and with respect. Sending messages just makes the situation works. The situation will end if it all just stops.

[onceandfuturekiki]

guh, i loved your 12/Clara gifset. I haven't shipped the Doctor with anyone since Rose, but 12 and Clara have so much chemistry!

I love Twelve/Clara so much. I shipped Eleven/Clara, but after one episode, I think I actually ship Twelve/Clara more. Capaldi and Coleman have really potent, amazing chemistry.

Of course, it's possible it's just the amount of angst that now exists between them. I love difficult relationships. It's just so heartbreaking, with the Doctor admitting that he's had feelings for Clara, but making some kind of decision that it needs to stop (even though I seriously doubt it will). Clara obviously had feelings for Eleven, and seeing her trying to reconcile those feelings with this new Doctor is so sad. Knowing that the Doctor probably thinks that she can't feel that way about his new regeneration. There's the potential for such a heartbreaking but beautiful story there. And I fully expect my fellow shippers to pick up on it and do something wonderful with it, because I really don't trust Moffat to do it.

[onceandfuturekiki]

Killian DID NOT rape Emma.

I never said he did. 

I have some reading comprehension flashcards I used to use with my first graders. I would be more than happy to send them to you.

He didn't rape Emma. However, he admitted to getting women drunk to have sex with them. He admitted to raping women. At the very least, he admitted to attempting rape women. Which isn't really better.

So now, he didn't rape Emma. But the fact that he is a rapist is very telling. It ties with him referring to Emma as a prize to be won because both show that he views women as objects rather than people. It ties to the fact that he disregarded Emma's rejections because both show that he considers a woman's feelings and desires as secondary to those of a man, and it shows that he thinks it's acceptable to not take 'no' as an answer. It ties to the lies he's told Emma because both show he's willing to manipulate to get what he wants. 

He hasn't raped Emma, but the fact that he's an admitted rapist can't just be ignored in their relationship. He doesn't respect women, he doesn't respect their agency, he doesn't respect the word "no". How can anyone think an admitted and unapologetic rapist like Hook can be in a healthy relationship?

[onceandfuturekiki]

Of course people who hate Stydia and love Stalia don't understand development. Stalia has no development and they think it's great.

I don't always have an issue with a lack of development to characters getting together. It's kind of a case by case basis thing, though. Sometimes people don't have deep friendships first. Sometimes people don't know each other very well before they start dating. So there are times when I don't mind that there isn't some big lead up. Especially when it comes to teenagers.

However, even considering that, the beginning of Stalia is still a mess. It's not just that there was no development (which there wasn't). It was partially the way it started in Eichen House. Two teenagers, one who is possessed by an evil spirit and one who murdered her family and was living as an animal until only a few weeks prior, having sex in the basement of a psychiatric hospital. It doesn't make sense character-wise. Malia should not have been in a place where she was able to give full consent for something like that. It doesn't make any sense that she was as coherent and cognizant as she was. And it doesn't make sense for Stiles to think that was a good idea. I've seen people pointing to when he was going to just have sex with the girl at the beginning of season three in the wine cellar (I can't recall her name off the top of her head), as if that explains the complaint away. It doesn't, because it's not the same kind of situation. Yes, it would probably be in character for Stiles to jump at the chance of sex if both he and the other person were willing and in a position where they could fully consent. It does not make sense for Stiles to just jump into a sex with a girl when both are in an incredibly emotionally unstable place, and especially while he's smack dab in the middle of trying to solve a huge problem/mystery. 

Not only does the Eichen House hookup make no sense, it's also incredibly unhealthy, as these two teenagers in the midst of extreme emotional duress should not be entering into romantic and sexual relationships. That's not healthy. 

And then in season four, they're together. Despite the fact that neither should be in an emotionally stable enough place to commit themselves to a relationship. 

Not only that, but there doesn't seem to be much reason that they would like each other. I might not mind a lack of development, as long as by the time the characters are in a relationship we can see why they like each other. But other than the sex, there aren't really any reasons displayed as to why they like each other. Malia displays behavior that Stiles has been shown not to like in others, but in this case it gets explained away because she's "learning". The only other thing we've been given is the contrived scene about the highlighter and how they both use red for "I don't know".

And even if there isn't development leading to a relationship, there needs to be development within the relationship (especially if the relationship doesn't have much development in its lead up). We haven't had any of that either. A lot of that is probably because Malia has had no development. So much of the relationship is clearly Stiles trying to teach Malia how to behave, yet there has been no development on that front, no "progress" that Stiles assures is happening. Their relationship is stagnant. Even a break up, which could have and should have allowed for development, as Stiles broke Malia's trust, led to nothing. No development. The relationship is completely stagnant. And that's the kindest word that can be used to describe it, because there's a hell of a lot of problematic material in regards to the imbalances of power and their sexual relationship.

The problem with Stalia isn't that there was a lack of development leading up to it. It's that there has been no development in any way whatsoever. 

[onceandfuturekiki]

I just don't get how "she ignored him" can be used against Stydia. That happened years ago. It doesn't apply anymore.

It shows a lack of understanding when it comes to development. Because you're right, it's not the case anymore. "She ignored him several years ago" is about as valid an argument as "They didn't know each other six years ago, so it doesn't make sense that they're together now".

If Lydia was still ignoring Stiles, still had no idea who he was, that might be a valid argument. But their relationship has developed since then. Obviously. In so many ways.

And I have to tie in the "Stiles was so obsessed with her" argument here, because they kind of go together in regards to development. 

When the series started, Stiles had an unrealistic crush on Lydia in which she was placed on a pedestal and Lydia had no idea he existed.

That is obviously no longer the case. They've developed from that. They became friends. I've seen people say that it makes no sense because all of a sudden in season 2 Lydia started leaning on Stiles. Again, showing a lack of understanding when it comes to development. Because that relationship developed during season 1 as Stiles became a part of Lydia's life through Allison and Scott. She became aware of his existence, got to know him. He showed her that he was someone on whom she could rely for emotional support. So in season 2, their real friendship began to develop.

It was through season 2 and 3 that Stiles really got to know Lydia and was able to take her down from that pedestal and love her in a more realistic way. And largely that was as a friend. Throughout these seasons they came to realize that they liked each other as people, that they could depend on one another, that they worked well together. Their relationship developed into genuine friendship.

Being such close friends allowed them to actually know each other. The more they knew each other, the closer they got, the more romantic their feelings became (yes, Stiles' feelings had already been romantic, but these feelings were new as he had resigned himself to friendship, and because these feelings were more real and genuine because now he actually knew her). 

The relationship really had such natural and careful development, and anyone using the "she ignored him" argument shows how little they understand what development really is. 

[onceandfuturekiki]

That blog isn't being run with respect at all. She just went from being so rude and gross to playing the victim and acting all "poor little me" eventhough she brought it on herself for being such a bitch in the first place. It just looks like she's not being disrespectful anymore because literally the only messages she gets are either messages where she can play victim or messages telling her she's great and doesn't deserve the hate, which she obviously just love so much.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if she's being disrespectful, it doesn't matter if she's being respectful, it doesn't matter if she's playing the victim. It doesn't matter. There's no reason to go to that blog. There's no reason to send messages. You're either giving her exactly what she wants by either showing how upset she's making you or giving her the material with which to play victim, or your attacking a blog that's being run with respect. 

It doesn't matter what it is, There is literally no reason to be sending these messages to the anti Stydia blog. 

Ignore it. Seriously, just put it on your ignore list. Just treat it like it doesn't exist. And if it's true and the only messages she's getting are from Stydia shippers, then if you all just stop sending messages, there will be nothing to answer. The only thing you're doing by sending these messages is feeding a blog you don't like and allowing it to continue. 

Just let it be. You're the ones causing the drama. If you just leave it be and ignore it, there will be no drama to be had.