11 years ago I met my best friend thru what I call a glitch in the universe. For now I’ll call him Reese....
My first love had just left me and Reese was trying to get over an unrequited love of his own. A mutual friend made a comment that Reese was not doing well mentally and I jumped to help....honestly; just grateful for the distraction.
Time passed and we grew to be as inseparable as two people separated by almost 1000 miles can be. Eventually Reese admitted he had feelings for me, and at the time I was still so hung up on my ex that I wasn’t willing to even think about thinking about giving him a chance. Reese stood by me. He stayed when I went back to my ex, stayed when it blew up in my face (two more times), stayed when even after all of that I skipped over giving him a chance KNOWING he still had feelings for me to try to be with someone I had just met.
Years went by before I was able to admit to myself that I had feelings for him. And by the time I fully realized it I was in a committed relationship.... I feel like a total ass. It’s been 11 years... I’m married, Reese was IN the wedding and we both have feelings that neither of us will act on.
It comes up every so often; we talk about it, apologize, and sit in silence for hours. Neither of us really knowing how to clear the air for good.
I’ve spent 6 years trying to put these feelings to bed. Unfortunately for me that’s seems to be when everything floods into my brain.
On top of the normal chaos that this creates in life now we are dealing with Covid....from opposite sides of the US/Canada border.
Reese was set to move here almost a year ago and then the border closed; we’ve both been in a downward spiral since. I’m beginning to feel desperate and restless. I’ve asked him to fly down to visit while we wait for the world to start resembling something normal. And while I haven’t got an answer yet I’m already looking at flights....debating booking a flight for myself to wherever his connection is to spend time with him without all of our friends around.
Just us like it used to be.