I’m trying not to let the possible judgement from other people get in the way of things I enjoy and want to pursue.
I really enjoy learning Swedish. I’ve kept up with it every day since mid December, I enjoy how it feels to learn something new, learning a new language in particular. I’m proud of myself for continuing to do this thing that I enjoy.
I know it might seem weird to people - it definitely seemed weird to my ex - she tolerated?indulged? me in it, but with (what felt like) a sort of resignation and exasperation - like of course I would chose this very weird thing to latch on to, so she’s gonna not understand it and she’s definitely gonna make fun of me for it, but she’ll also buy me a “Swedish first words” coloring book -
- but I don’t think it’s any stranger than wanting to learn any other language or become interested in any other culture. And I’m not doing anyone any harm by learning.
It’s the letting go of what other people think or how other people will react that’s the hardest for me. Because I’m so attuned to that - even if I did those things anyway, I was still so hyper aware of how I came across to others.
And I want to let that go.