continued from HERE // @whimbent
on a hitched breath, madeline nodded as she tried to mentally prepare for the conversation she knew was coming. perhaps it was stupid of her to maintain a relationship with shonnetta when she was well aware that they both had different end goals but the blonde had fallen so deeply in love with her, she couldn’t stay away. she couldn’t deny herself of one of the most loving and healthy relationships she had ever been in. maybe they had each hoped the other would change their mind or they’d find some sort of compromise. unfortunately for the pair, their relationship had ultimately led here. “i … know,” she mumbles, barely able to meet her partner’s eyes. “i won’t stand in the way of your happiness,” somehow, she musters up the courage to look at shonnetta, taking her hand in her own, “you deserve to be so insanely happy … and it kills me that i can’t—” she pauses as tears well in her eyes. “you are going to be such a good mom.”
it’s always been shonnetta’s dream to be a mother. ever since she was a teenager , she’s always pictured herself settling down to have a baby .. or two. if her job weren’t so dangerous , she’d even consider being a single mom but she doesn’t want her children to become orphaned if something ever happens to her. “ i wish i could just say that i’ll raise the baby on my own and you don’t have to be a part of their life , but that wouldn’t be fair to either of you. ” it’s not realistic either , regardless of whether she chooses to adopt or undergo ivf. once she actually has a child , her entire world will revolve around them and there’s no way to avoid that. it wouldn’t feel right dating someone who refused to be a part of their family .. someone who would inadvertently make her child feel unwanted. “ i guess that’s it then , ” she mumbles , still refusing to look up from her lap. madeline is the only person who’s ever really made her feel loved and it’s difficult to give that up , even though she knows that it’s the right thing to do. she’s already tried convincing herself that she doesn’t need a baby to be happy with her life , and it just made her feel empty inside.