#white-knuckling

[thepersonalwords]

Real change isn't achieved as the result of white knuckling and hoping for the best. It requires changing your heart.

Eddie Capparucci, Removing Your Shame Label: Learning to Break From Shame and Feel God's Love

[kuntya]

A really important thing in my life is going astronomically well.

With every step of progress I make, I keep expecting it to disintegrate.

So, good new: The law of attraction is fake.

[crownofcompassion]

New Post has been published on Crown of Compassion

New Post has been published on https://www.crownofcompassion.org/2020/12/03/a-functional-gnosticism-many-people-follow-it/

A functional Gnosticism - many people follow it

“Without realizing it, many of us still follow a sort of functional Gnosticism.  We say God loves us, but . . . we ignore, shame, or disregard our humanity.  As a result, when we speak of God’s love, we don’t mean that He loves all parts of us; we mean that He loves our spirits.  Or we pray as though we value our flesh and bonds, but we don’t think the pain we experience in our bodies affect our whole person.”- Aundi Kolber

As Aundi Kolber moves on in Chapter 7 of Try Softer, she observes that we must be present to our bodies in order to listen to the needs they speak to us.  However, many people think they can resolve their physical or mental issues through persistent faith and fervent prayer.  But, the author counsels, this denotes the spiritual equivalent of white knuckling it.

Above all, Aundi underscores, we’re more than simply bodies walking around.  Our bodies make up an essential part of who we are.  Hence, the author offers these words of caution:

“We always pay a price when we try to live disembodied lives.  The grief, anxiety, fear, or heartache we won’t let ourselves feel will come out in other ways. . . .  We know we can try to run from the wisdom and experiences of our bodies; after all, disconnection is one way we make it through uncomfortable relationships and experiences.  But the truth is, our memories and experiences do not simply go away.  Our bodies are their keepers, for better or for worse.”

Finally, Aundi talks about the man blind from birth.  Jesus and His disciples encounter the man in John 9.  First, Jesus spat on the ground.  Next, Jesus made a mud paste that He spread across the man’s eyes.  Then, He told the man to go and wash in the pool of Siloam.  After the man did so, he came back with his sight restored.

Notice that the man participated with Jesus in a physical way for healing to take place.   Thus, Aundi compares that to how we participate with God through paying compassionate attention to ourselves.

Today’s question: Do you detect any signs of functional Gnosticism in your life?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Our felt sense – a core concept development”

[crownofcompassion]

New Post has been published on Crown of Compassion

New Post has been published on https://www.crownofcompassion.org/2020/11/12/the-stories-we-weave-create-templates/

The stories we weave create templates

“The stories we weave and the meaning we make from them create templates for how we understand God, life, others, and ourselves.  Regardless of the frameworks we carry, choosing to care for and nurture the whole history of who we are is connected to the way we were made to thrive.”- Aundi Kolber

“You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.  Are they not in your book?”- Psalm 56:8 (ESV)

Today Aundi Kolber concludes Chapter 1 of Try Softer.  She notes what it looks like if we disconnect from our stories.  Typically, we disconnect because we consider some parts disturbing or at least uncomfortable.  However, we must acknowledge the validity of our experience in order to do something with that discomfort.

Therefore, Aundi stresses, when we deny the reality of our experiences, we become less, not more, of who God designed us to be.  Aundi explains:

“There’s no way to have cohesive stories unless we truly embrace all of it: the good . . . hard . . . bittersweet . . . sad . . . joyful  . . . lonely, and the painful.  Learning how to be ‘with’ our stories — in our bodies, without becoming overwhelmed by or numbing our past experiences — is the way we will learn how to actually handle and move through the grief and anxiety that comes up.  It’s also the way we will learn to write new endings that are true to ourselves.”

Finally, Aundi cautions, it’s impossible to rush a flower to bloom.  In a similar manner, we must move at a pace that’s doable to us.  Also, the way we do something matters as much as what we do.  Thus, the process of blooming and the flower that results possess equal value.

Above all, avoid white-knuckling through the pain.  Aundi states that white-knuckling occurs when we consciously or unconsciously ignore internal waring signs from our minds and bodies to cope with situations that are overwhelming or disturbing.  Pain indicates a good time to pause or slow your pace in that part of your story.

Today’s question: What Scriptures support the stories we weave?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Lovingly turn toward our pain”

[parvatiofficial]

New Post has been published on Blog - Parvati.TV

New Post has been published on http://parvati.tv/blog/how-to-choose-the-light-of-your-true-nature-part-1/

How to Choose the Light of Your True Nature, Part 1

Image credit: Hartwig HKD

DOES IT SUPPORT YOUR NATURE?

I grew up in a house full of chocolate lovers. My dad was the main catalyst in this desire, encouraging me, my mother and my two sisters to choose something chocolate any time dessert was an option, be it in the form of ice cream, cake, pudding or cookies.

Until my mid-teens, I was convinced that chocolate was the best choice for me in any range of desserts. After all, it is what I was taught, encouraged and knew. In a Pavlovian way, whenever I saw chocolate, my mouth started to salivate. I was convinced I wanted some!

But with puberty, I was given an opportunity to learn to perceive differently and make choices that honoured my more authentic nature. As hormones ran through my veins and my body grew in strange and new ways, I also developed debilitating migraine headaches that would leave me sick and bedridden for days.

The doctor told me that I needed to stop eating certain foods that were well-known migraine triggers, one of which was chocolate. I thought my world had ended. In some ways, it had; and as it did, a whole new one opened up.

Life with my family became an opportunity to grow into my own choices. It was clear to me intellectually that chocolate was not good for me. I did my best to white-knuckle the temptation that seemed to grip me, only to find myself giving in from time to time and getting sick again. Eventually, however, what I once understood as mere medical advice arose as a willing directive from within me. Chocolate was not good for me, so I did not want to choose it anymore.

With new understanding now resonant in my cells, I was able to perceive chocolate differently. It no longer seemed to call at me, beckon me, and weaken my will. Instead, it became a potent reminder for a young teenager, of the power of choice. I began to see all chocolate as poison, rather than delight. I knew it would make me sick, just as poison does. I very quickly lost all desire for it. What once was a tough choice because of my conditioning, became an easy one because of my willingness to make different choices and understand the situation clearly.

AT FIRST, CHOICE IS EFFORT

In today’s busy digital world, we simultaneously face a wider range of choices than ever before, yet may feel overwhelmed and powerless in the face of it all. In truth, we have never had a better opportunity to put into practice the power of our free will. We may convince ourselves that we don’t have a choice in a given situation. We may feel, for example, that we need to stay in a job or a relationship that feels empty and unfulfilling, because we feel we have no other options. But not doing anything about feeling unhappy is a choice in itself.

As I shared in my Being In the Wake of Violence series, no matter where we are, or what we are doing, we do have the choice in how we react to what life brings. The idea of having choice can feel uncomfortable to anyone who is attached to feeling like a victim. But life is never happening to us. Everything we experience is the result of choices we have made in the past, our previous karmic tendencies. What we think and believe affects how we perceive, which determines how we act, which in turn creates the trajectory of our lives.

Our state of awareness is in constant co-creation with the moment, which manifests our experience of being alive. When we perceive that life is happening to us, we limit our field of awareness. When we believe that our source of power is outside of us, we give away our ability to make choices.

But when we see that we are in constant co-creation with life, that whatever life brings is grace, we become receptive to this moment as it is. We awaken to greater possibilities. We move beyond limiting beliefs and habits, and begin to make choices that support the light of our nature. Such choices always feel rooted, vital and expansive. But they may not always feel easy.

At first, making healthy choices can feel difficult. That is because the habits that do not support our greater good have momentum. We likely have invested energy in them for some time, often lifetimes. They keep moving in a certain direction, while we go along in auto-pilot.

Once we are fed up with feeling lousy about our lives or ourselves, we become willing to make changes. When we are willing to make better choices and soberly realize that we have some habits to overcome, we do need to apply some effort. It takes willpower to not get up in the middle of the night and go to the fridge for a piece of chocolate cake, or to not bring it home at all!

The same applies for other habitual choices we may have that pull us away from our true nature, such as shopping beyond what we can afford, watching TV when we would be best to socialize, study or tune into what we feel, or compulsively checking our phones to see, ultimately, if we are loved; or even deeper issues such as losing our temper, procrastination, self-judgment, getting involved in unhealthy relationships or acting in ways that contribute to global warming.

Next week, in preparation for Earth Day, I will look at these in more depth, as we continue to explore How To Choose The Light Of Your True Nature.

I post a Being Love Letter every Sunday from my heart to yours. If you have enjoyed this, you may wish to listen to my musical works, check out my upcoming book Confessions of a Former Yoga Junkie: A Revolutionary Life Makeover for the Sincere Spiritual Seeker, and find out more about me at www.parvati.tv.

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Love, Parvati