#whose line games

[calamitygenerator]

BARTENDER GAME: I'M SAD BECAUSE OF WHATEVER PONIE CARTOON BULLSHIT.

CG: BARTENDER.

CG: THE STRONGEST YOU'VE GOT.

karkat: *pours karkat some whiskey or something*

CG: *Downs it in one go*

CG: I REALLY NEEDED THIS I CAN'T TELL YOU JUST HOW MUCH.

CG: EVEN THOUGH I'D RATHER HAVE A WHOLE BOTTLE OF SCOTCH.

CG: LET ME TELL YOU, GIRL, WHAT'S LURKING IN MY MIND

CG: IT'S A WEIRD THING BUT THE PLANETS DIDN'T ALIGN.

CG: AND LET ME TELL YOU GIRL

CG: THAT EVEN THOUGH I'M A MALE

CG: I'M LEAVING A TEAR TRAIL

CG: FOR MY SHIP, APPLEPIE, DIDN'T SAIL.

CG: ==>

karkat (THIS IS JADE BY THE WAY SHE'S JUST USING THAT NAME ON THE CHAT): thats rough, sweetheart, it really is, i can sympathize,

karkat: here take my hankerchief and wipe your teary eyes,

karkat: but im sure for just such reason is why they made fandoms,

karkat: (despite how much youll have to deal with the randoms)

karkat: ill tell you what, and thisll make you forget your ship

karkat: so put that drink down and forget about the tip

karkat: why dont you come behind the counter, sweatpea,

karkat: and we will sail a ship thatll be your new o.t.p.

[calamitygenerator]

I'M GOING TO PLAY SCENES FROM A HAT NEXT.

SO, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE GAME, YOU SHOULD INBOX ME RANDOM SUGGESTIONS THAT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE PEOPLE ACTING OUT.

OR I'LL JUST DROP A QUESTION MARK AND  YOU CAN REPLY TO THIS POST WITH THEM.

?

[calamitygenerator]

[calamitygenerator]

BARTENDER: I'M SCARED OF KANAYA'S STRAP-ON

(FAIR WARNING: THIS PLAYS TO THE SONG IN THE FOLLOWING URL

www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=dotsOGOLOHY#t=7s "IT'S TOUGH TO BE A GOD" )

KARKAT: I JUST DON'T THINK THAT I'M ALRIGHT

KARKAT: FOR I WAS SURPRISED LAST NIGHT

KARKAT: WITH SOMETHING THAT SENT SHIVERS THROUGH MY SKIN

KARKAT: IT DIDN'T NEED TO TELL ME FREEZE

KARKAT: LET ME GO! DON'T BE A TEASE

KARKAT: I SIMPLY WANT TO SURVIVE THROUGH THIS PLEASE

KARKAT: THAT WAS ONE STRAP-ON!

KARKAT: AND JUST LIKE THAT I WAS GONE

KARKAT: I HAD TO RUN AWAY UNTIL DAWN

KARKAT: I'M SURE THAT THING HAD VIBRATION

KARKAT: IT WAS STUCK BETWEEN HER PALMS

KARKAT: IT WAS BIGGER THAN A NATION!

KARKAT: I SWEAR TO GOD, IT WAS A BOMB

KARKAT: AND NOW I AM SUICIDAL

KARKAT: OR MAYBE JUST HOMICIDAL

KARKAT: BUT IF THAT THING WASN'T ODD

KARKAT: THEN I'M A FRAUD

JADERADE: karkat i think youll be fine,

JADERADE: its not like she took you from behind,

JADERADE: i think your irrational,

JADERADE: i guess its really not my call,

JADERADE: but if it makes you feel better,

JADERADE: then hey maybe we could go to the bed...er?

[calamitygenerator]

BARTENDER: ARADIA'S IN LOVE WITH JADE

ARADIABOT: 0h bartender, this is r0ckin my w0rld

ARADIABOT: im in l0ve with a beautiful girl

ARADIABOT: but she d0esnt kn0w that i exist

ARADIABOT: lemme tell y0u, its really the pits

ARADIABOT: s0 bartender, ive been thinkin

ARADIABOT: maybe we sh0uld skip the drinkin

ARADIABOT: and g0 try s0mething new

ARADIABOT: because that girl i l0ve is y0u!

JADERADE: oh aradia, i think thats sweet, i really do,

JADERADE: but there really is something i must tell to you,

JADERADE: gosh i think youre pretty, but theres someone in this room,

JADERADE: who, if he knew about your crush, would plan your imminent doom.

[calamitygenerator]

BARTENDER: KANAYA'S CELEBRATING THAT SHE FINALLY MANAGED TO GET SOMEONE DRUNK AND GOT THEM TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HER.

KANAYA: Last Night I Finally Found Success In My Long Sweeps Avocation

KANAYA: To Find Someone To Share My Nest In Heated Fornication

KANAYA: So I Slipped A Little Something Into A Cuties Drink

KANAYA: And I Gave That Girl A Rodgering- It Was A Girl At Least... I ... Think?

JADERADE: kanaya, darling, thats wonderful, im glad,

JADERADE: sounds like youve been jonesing and jonesing pretty bad,

HuesOfJadeHarley [JADERADE] disconnected.

HuesOfJadeHarley [JADERADE] joined chat.

JADERADE: regardless of the gender, it sounds like you had fun,

JADERADE: and at least you thought they were a pretty damn hot one,

JADERADE: and kanaya with your looks theyll just come a'begging,

JADERADE: but heres some advice for the future, dont invest in pegging,

[calamitygenerator]

BARTENDER: KARKAT'S ANGRY ABOUT LOSING HIS VIRGINITY WHILE COMPLETELY DRUNK.

Karkat: I CAME HERE FOR SOME ALCOHOL, AND TO GRIEVE A LOSS.

Karkat: SIMPLY PUT, AND BEING TERSE, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT COST.

Karkat: BUT WHEN I WOKE, FROM HAVING ALE, I TRIED TO FORGET, TO NO AVAIL.

Karkat: THE QUESTION, TO BEAR, OF WHY MY BACKSIDE HURT.

JADERADE: that really sucks, im sure, id say id feel you,

JADERADE: but in this context, i dont think thatll do,

JADERADE: i would really adore to cheer you up this time,

JADERADE: with maybe with a silly rhyme,

JADERADE: but my virginitys still in contact, so i just cant relate,

JADERADE: for you see that dork over there has been my only date *points to the host*

[calamitygenerator]

BARTENDER: MORA'S EXCITED ABOUT HAVING LEARNT TO AUTOFELLATE

mora: oh harley do i evver got information to share

mora: ivve discovvered howw to put my mouth DOWWN THERE

mora: youd think it wwould be painful

mora: wwhat wwith howwt he back muscles pull

mora: but hey apparently wwhat do i knoww

mora: I GOT MY BULGE DOWWN MY OWWN THROAT-

JADERADE: mora i have to say thats really nice to hear,

JADERADE: and im glad you chose to share with me over some beer,

JADERADE: but honestly with how dirty that mouth of yours is,

JADERADE: i dont think id put it in the same area....as his *points down*