#why i create

[thechaosgoblin]

the reason why I love to write but I don't do it much.

Every little creative thing, from a landscape, to a story about two goof balls, I feel, physically feel, on my skin, in my muscles, in my bones, and I can't sit still, I can't put it too words, I can only move, slow heartfelt moments makes me feel l am floating in space, fantastical landscapes make just below my right elbow feel like something is laying on it, action scenes make me want to spar, and there so many more sensations I can't even put into words, creativity /is/ physical to me, and I don't know how to put it to paper unless I am moving, but I don't remember what I write after I am done, and talking is one of the hardest things I do, I don't write, because there isn't a way for me to take the energy my ideas put into my veins and inject it into someone else, some ideas don't make as much energy, some ideas I can put into a language that others know, but those ideas aren't the ones that live in my head for decades, they aren't the ones I /need/ to make real, they are the passing thoughts, the ones that you think of, and then never again, they're the ones that you regret putting into the world, because within a few days, all your love for them are gone, I wish I could sit down and make my hands and mind translate the electricity that drives me into words, but how do you translate a language with no words?

[johndocumentslife]

[roseroyaly]

It’s the creative struggle of craving content in a certain way, but you can’t find it in any art of fanfiction because no one has thought about it from the perspective you have. So you decide to create it yourself.

[miixedmoods-blog]

from 2012 & 2013. i worked downtown at exacttarget (aka salesforce), simon malls, and also just different places around the indy area as a contractor for a few years, because i really couldn’t handle going to the same office EVERY DAY while idiots talked about what things they bought & how much they partied over the weekend. i never drank at work, and i got a LOT of questions about it. i mean, dude, i was 22/23, so it seems like i was a mormon to these people. 

i’m quite proud of myself for the last six years, i haven’t developed a dependency with my family’s mental & medical history, as well as my own background and upbringing, even if i don’t make the money i used to here.

i was pretty hypomanic, it was impossible to keep up with a lot of different things, like most adults seem to be able to do, but i started really running myself into the ground after 2013.

[ericpaulashworth]

There is always one relationship in every image. It embodies a moment of profound human connection, no matter how brief, between the viewer and the artist.

—Eric Ashworth

[moana-matron-designs]

My jewellery comes gift-ready and I can always include a tag on request :)

These bundles are off to the States, bon voyage!

[calymos]

Looking at what's made me who i am is such a strange activity. it's simultaneously freeing and terrifying, with so many small memories that i've glanced over and either tried to ignore or just to push to the back of my mind, and then there's a list of things that i either wanted to do and did not, or things that I did that I would much rather have not done. I'd like to say that they are irrelevant events, and that I can just move past them without a second thought, but it's dawning on me that it's these happenings that have created the individual that I have become. 

    I've done things that I'd like to forget, and I've hurt people that I care about, and in a sense of misplaced self fulfillment, that is, hiding in a dense fog of escape, I've ended up exiling myself from who I had planned on becoming in the first place. It's an excruciatingly slow process, exerting change on my personal to rectify the weaknesses that I see in myself. It takes renewed focus from day to day, and I am human- it is not an entirely upward journey, often I find myself slipping back into a trance of pitying my situation rather than improving it- but with every step forward I find that I am more drawn the ambrosia of self respect.

    As this is a statement of self, for my own keepings, I feel it necessary to state that this is the collection of thoughts that I wish to impart into my music. When I play guitar, this is what I'm feeling, and I hope that if even for a moment I can share an emotion with you, I will be reaching the zenith of my desires as creative force in the world.

    I hope to someday let you process your memories through my work as a musician and with that experience, grow into the person that you wish to become. Music has been my guiding light, and if I can ever hope to extend a hand to another individual sharing my plight of feelings locked in a jar, as if to begin the process of opening and releasing something unshared, I will have succeeded.