im happy but im sad. i could kind of say ive learned that nothing usually goes the way you plan anyway, so you might as well enjoy what you get and what youve got. i dont know how long its going to take to kill the feeling of replacement and abandonment that i feel inside..its as if i was living a lie for years..? im happy my being is the total opposite to someone else than what im used to hearing about myself..maybe im in a little denial and shock that someone actually can see the good in me and appreciates the support i have in everything he feels or thinks. that someone actually believes the good things that i say and denies the negative things that ive said. we all say things we dont mean..and to hold words against someone is as ignorant as saying those words..i guess what im trying to get at is that compassion is the best solution. without compassion there isnt really love; but who am i to say what love really is..all i know is that im full of it and i yearn to give it..all i can wish for is that people can see or feel the love that i have. i go forward in this world; facing what ive made of myself..just hoping i dont fall off the edge.