She knows it’ll happen eventually – it’s inevitable at this point. There’s something there ( something that SCARES her – something that keeps her up at night while she should be sleeping on the freight they’ve hopped to their NEXT destination && he’s curled up so snugly next to her. She sees it in his eyes – maybe it’s the fact that it’s been the TWO of them ( && just the two of them ) for about a MONTH now. Sure, he’s had opportunities for a quick shag here && there when they’ve stopped over in many a town for a day or two, but for the most part, they’ve never left each others sides. When signing up for a summer of adventure, she didn’t picture growing SO CLOSE to him ( they never really were before, after all, what would change that now ?? ) but there was something in this journey that brought them together. So when he gives her that look again – tilts her chin up with two fingers && leans in – she doesn’t stop him. She wants this. She wants him.( t w o ) There’s something about all this that makes her incredibly nervous ( not just SOMETHING -- her lack of experience -- but why implicate herself with such specificities ?? ). She tries her BEST to act as if she’s done this all before, but unbeknownst to her, her greenness comes shining through in their every entanglement. He’s showing her a whole new world of things, helping her experiment -- && she can’t say she hates it. She’s just terrified that she’s not GOOD enough -- that he’ll want to go all the way && she won’t be ready ( or maybe just scared of the fact that she sort of does feel ready && it hasn’t even been that long && for Merlin’s sake does that mean she’s a lose woman ?? ). When he sidles up beside her, a fire blazing in front of them, && has her knees feeling weak in only seconds, she’s sure tonight’s the night -- && when he kisses her, with a flick of her wand she’s put the fire out && pulls away only to drag him off to their tent. ( t h r e e ) Sneaking around added some excitement into their relationship ( if one could even label it as that ). Neither had wanted to disrupt the usual ebb && flow of those around them upon their return to school && felt it’d be best to keep things under wraps -- only that became increasingly difficult by the day. Sirius was gods-awful at keeping a secret from James -- && she was gods-awful at LYING in general. Still, they tried to keep this act up ( but the way they OWLED each other late at night seemed to INCRIMINATE them even further ). Eventually, she was fed up with it all, STOMPED down the steps to the common room, only to find him waiting there for her. She practically drapes herself across his lap && goes right for the snog. So what if everyone knew ?? At least she’d start getting some fuckin’ sleep. ( f o u r ) War was all too real now -- their last days as innocents were numbered. They could only be protected by this castle’s HALLOWED walls for a month more, before they were thrust out into the real world, where battle lines were ready to be drawn && sides had to be chosen. Marlene knew she was to fight -- she was a McKinnon -- it was in her blood. Sirius, however, was going against his. He’d fight right alongside her, that much she knew, but it was a SCARY thing to choose a path that contradicts everything you ever knew ( even if it’s NOTHING he ever wanted to be a part of ). But for now ?? They were still kids. They could still PRETEND that everything would be ok -- live in their own little bubble where they’d spend hours down by the shore of the Black Lake, laid out on a blanket she could only assume Sirius had nicked from one of his roommate’s beds && lose themselves in each other. Was she an ESCAPIST ?? Yes -- but it was necessary if she was to keep her sanity in tact. ( f i v e ) Her first mission with the Order was what it took for the reality of this war to sink in with her. Prior, it all felt like a sort of GAME -- strategy meetings && training tactics -- like they were preparing for one big bout of make believe -- for something that was NEVER going to actually happen. But coming back that night, caked in MUD with a gash on her FOREHEAD that she hadn’t had time to patch up until they got back to headquarters, she finally knew that this was no game -- this was her life. The thought itself was HEAVY as hell. Marlene was the type to shy away from such seriousness. She had spent her life making jokes -- but for the first time in a long time, she couldn’t find a SINGLE THING to laugh at. Once she walked in those doors, she found herself wrapped in his arms ( he was scheduled to head out the next night on a raid -- much to his annoyance ). She knew she should probably get on healing herself, but first she leans up to press a solid kiss to his lips. She’s still here. She made it back alive to fight on another day. He’s still beside her. That’s ALL that matters.
