red wine - a drabble
Sophia’s point of view, based on this drabble.
everyone who has barely met sophia, is aware of the fact that she rarely sleeps at night. most people don’t even know the reason behind it, but they don’t need to. nonetheless, there she is, lying on her bed; her eyes closed shut, pretending to be asleep. but not even the clumsiest eye would fall for it. she has always been terrified of silence, bit that’s all she’s got now.
poor little sixteen year old girl, closing her eyes in the dark, quiet and waiting for something to happen. tormented by her own thoughts, tormented by her own memories. she wishes she couldn’t remember. the bottle of firewhiskey from only a few hours ago, the laughter, his charming eyes set on her lips, her mouth curving up in a smirk. it had started out as a game. that endless game they played. he pushed, she pulled, she teased, he teased back. it wasn’t supposed to mean anything. they were best friends. and sophia didn’t really know the meaning of that word; because he was the realest friend she had, and now it was all ruined.
there are footsteps outside the door and she knows. rabastan lestrange has come back. does he want more? does he want to ask her what’s impossible for her to give? before he even starts talking, she’s already behind the frame, leaning her back against the wooden surface, her eyes still closed trying so hard to make everything around her disappear; even his voice.
“I’m sorry” he says. he claims he doesn’t need them to be more than friends. he’s sorry about kissing her, about telling her how he felt. he’s sorry about the things she can’t give to him. he doesn’t need to hold her hand, to wrap his arms around her in front of everyone, to kiss her under the rain or under the moonlight; to dance with her at every gala, all night. “I can fancy you and still just be your friend --- I promise.”
but she can’t. because he wasn’t the only one who had kissed that night. she had kissed back. and he wasn’t the only one that had imagined a future, she had done it too. and it terrifies her. it terrifies her to ruin everything they have, but most of all it scares her to have him the way she wants only to lose him afterwards. she can’t afford to lose rabastan. not now, not ever. so she stays quiet, listening to him, one hand brushing the knob with the oh so tempting need of opening the door and embrace everything she’s feeling, embrace him. she won’t, though. that’s now who she is, that’s not who she ever will be. sophia wilkes is a coward, a shiveringly cold hidden coward.
after a while he leaves; and there’s only silence again. with a sigh, she finally opens the door to find nothing more than emptiness behind it. she walks out of her dormitory and sneaks out of the castle in search for someone to keep her company until morning. maybe by losing herself in someone else’s body, she will be able to forget what she’s finally found that tonight.
