Good morning, Upper East Siders. I hope you're all savoring your breakfast this morning. It's likely missing an essential food group, but don't worry, I'm here to fix you up with a side dish of sex tape.
Yes, you read that right. Two voyeuristic members of the Big Seven did the nasty in front of a camera, an anonymous source leaked a copy to me, and I'm about to share it with all of you. So, who are our little exhibitionists, you ask? None other than Lucas Lannister and Willa Tyrell.
I bet you saw that coming, didn't you? Well, you'll also see him coming if you watch the video. Oh, we all know you're going to watch it, don't even try to deny it. As if you really were going to pass up the opportunity of seeing two of the hottest Big Seven members all naked, sweaty, and going at it.
I'm not ashamed to say I've watched it five times already. That is a sandwich I'm going to be dreaming about being in the middle of, and lucky for me, it seems that might actually be possible again. Willa and Lucas were recently seen at a party grinding up on each other and making out before making an abrupt exit, hand in hand. Are they back together? Or just back together? Oh, who cares. Normally I'd make some witty remark about Willa's infidelity, but after watching the tape, I can't blame Lucas for revisiting the past. Given his own promiscuous tendencies, I'm shocked he didn't do it sooner.
Enjoy the tape, New Yorkers. Remember to have a box of tissue at the ready, and I don't mean for your tears.
