Happy birthday to my bestie. I'm not one for sentimentality but without you I would have already gone under. Even if that were the case, I would have wrapped my rope around you and taken you with me. No matter what happens even a hundred years from now I’ll still be asking you if you even like me, but at least that shows you that I love you. Don’t leave me because I’ll follow you anyway and annoy you with everything I find along the way. But most of all I’ll be right behind you and catch you if you ever fall backward. And if you fall forward I’ll help you back up and ask Dean if he’ll carry us up the next mountain (I’ll bribe him). You are special in the best kind of way and I appreciate that you spend your time with me. Thanks for being crazy with me. @flatvoiced
" i think i'd be here even if i didn't have the parents i have . do people seriously think that i can't open my own doors ? those people assume i'm talentless — 𝙞 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 that pours into everything i do . . . ”
it’s your favorite bitches, @pixilated and @laprincessa here and ready to rock your world.
we don’t care if you read it or not, the rest of the world already has.
The Red Carpet Review with @pixilated
While some went unnoticed (I can’t tell if those were intentional or not), there were definitely some looks. With every celeb on the red carpet dying to make an impression, some unfortunately are destined to miss the mark-- the Carrington’s Gala was no exception. Now, I present to you last weekend’s best and worst dressed.
WORST: Sarah Park
No one would disagree with us when we say that Sarah looked like absolute literal trash, and sweetie, she can’t even challenge us on this one. We get it, you love the environment. Showing up to the red carpet in a dress made of trash was a power move, Ms. Park. There’s something fishy about this whole demonstration, but I’ll let @laprincessa tell you all about that. This dress didn’t even last the whole night, so structurally it was not sound. We applaud you for having the balls for wearing this as your red carpet look, I don’t think anyone else could have pulled it off.
BEST: Tyler Henry
Not a big surprise here, with all the money this girl has we expected nothing less. We’re almost positive that this dress costs less than the rock on her finger anyways. Henry also wore a stunning shade of green with her tiff toward Ms. Duffy and quite possibly a slightly different shade of green later that night due to her consumption of champagne-- eight or nine glasses would definitely make me sick. Thankfully for Ms. Henry, pink and green are complementary colors, so there’s no need to call the fashion police on this one.
WORST: Drew Koenig
*Yawn* Guess we should have seen this one coming considering the Koenig’s past with their money loss, maybe they are just trying to be more fiscally responsible, who knows. However, we know some better ways to be fiscally responsible-- especially for an underwear model. Showing up in #hiscalvins would have been a look, but instead we’re left with this lackluster appearance.
BEST: Willa Duffy
Time and again, Willa Duffy does not fail to impress-- it’s no wonder she’s continuously at the top of everyone’s radar. She dazzled everyone at the gala with this blue and gold number, Ms. Duffy you truly looked like a princess. Flora and Merryweather probably fought less than @laprincessa and I did on who was best dressed -- pink or blue! We just couldn’t settle on Ms. Duffy or Ms. Henry for the title, we’ll let them settle that in their own time, we just wanted to add a little more fuel to the fire between those two.
WORST: Charlie Carrington
Oh Carrington, it seems like a cop out to just get a handkerchief to match your girl. Maybe Ms. Henry was too indecisive about her look that you settled for something simple. Your name wasn’t even on the invitation, little Charlie, and your suit didn’t make you standout either.
@laprincessa: Que decepción, I honestly expected more of you Carrington, especialmente cuando your fiance is a fashion icon, tsk tsk communication is key darlings! Let me take this time to express my utter disappointment with men in high society always showing up in the same old somber tones, in the same old boring suits. The fashion world is always moving forward and you have the money to really show up and represent. Explore with colors, patterns and textures! Floral is not just for the ladies, gentlemen-- the more vibrant the color the more impressive you stand out. Stop boring me to tears with the same old suit and tie.
BEST: Jared Caldwell
That brings me to the best dressed guy, which goes to New Money Caldwell. Let me just fangirl about this this man for a second, can you tell that I just absolutely love him. Sure no one really knows who he is and he’s just a nerdy guy who made the hottest app, but if he ghosted me I would be heartbroken. I can see why Martha was all over this man, look at that t e x t u r e. Boys, you need to take a few notes in your book from him. THIS is how you rock a gala look.
WORST: Victoria Sparks
There’s nothing awful about this look, in fact the only one who really swung and missed was Ms. Park, but there’s nothing that really stands out either. I think we were all on the edge of our seats to see if your date would be your mother. I wonder if you’re feeling well, with your dreamy, far-off look and your nose stuck in a book-- what a puzzle to the rest of us is well, Ms. Sparks. I should have expected this from New York’s Sweetheart who has been flying under the radar, but we’re dying to know why your personality is still missing when you are back in the big apple with mommy dearest.
BEST: Juniper Winslow
Such a classic look from Ms. Winslow, it brings me back to the Juni: Princess of the Galaxy days! You really were a star. Thank goodness you didn’t have a fashion disaster tonight, but it’s such a shame your ex-mans was at the gala too. You really seemed on edge, Juni. The class the dress brought definitely compensated for the mess that followed.
BEST: Sarah Park
Hats off to you Ms. Park for not only receiving worst dressed, but also receiving the best dressed. While it wasn’t your red carpet look, you definitely turned some heads with this one too. Your transition from the trash in our ocean to your sandy sparkly look was not only touching, but inspiring. Congrats from your two faves-- oh and tell your bestie that #TimesUp on the fashion trend she tried to bring to the gala.
No Me Digas! con @laprincessa
Now you all know we love our fashion opinions, but what we thirst is more than what our fellow socialites were wearing. We thirst for the knowledge of what they are doing and subsequently hiding. Good thing is... we know all, we see all and my, my, my! What juicy content do we have to share.
While so many of you flew under the radar, stuck to the walls or hidden in the corners, some of you truly saved this gala from being a total snoozefest. I for one, was ready to post some secrets just to have a reaction from all those in attendance, but early on it was easy to spot that things were bound to get interesting.
Let me start with the ever so fabulous Tyler Henry. Mija, you were a total mess. The woman who has everything-- the wealth, good genes, the rock on her finger with the handsome man at her side-- started guzzling down champagne like it was water. What could possibly warrant Ms. Henry to act impulsively on the night of her soon-to-be family’s gala? My sources say that daddy dearest broke a promise and the Henry’s wholesome family unit was minus one. The night just kept getting better as Ms. Henry decided to up the ante and get into not one but two major confrontations.
The First: #theAutocrat vs #theVisionary
While we agree that Ms. Sarah Park was a total eyesore in that, for lack of a better term-- trashy dress, was it really necessary to ruin it? Now before all you Tyler-stans get all defensive here are the facts. The two ladies were spotted having a quarrel, it wouldn’t surprise me if the camera crew got all the juicy details of what was said. All I know is that the back-and-forth reached the point where Ms. Henry was seen pulling in the Carrington’s guest speaker real close, and not for the steamy reasons we’re all hoping for, and as Ms. Park pulled away... oops! Her dress was falling apart and Tyler was left with plastic in her hands. Seems pretty incriminating to me. In the end I feel like I should thank Tyler, Sarah was forced to change and I ended up getting a delectable view of her banging body.
@pixilated: Hey! #TeamTyler over here and I wouldn’t say that miss-horny-for-change can get away without pointing a few fingers at her. No one would believe it, but rumor has it Ms. Park could have had a few tricks up her sleeve and wanted Ms. Henry to rip her dress all along. Hell, I’d want that dis-gus-ting thing off of me too. Tyler did warn her never to call her by that godforsaken nickname. Seems like she was set-up to have the perfect alibi, but that’s just my cup of tea.
Since @pixilated has already revealed herself to be in #TeamTyler I guess I can go ahead and reveal that while I’m not on any teams yet, I do have a soft spot for Sarah Park. She had the guts to embarrass herself in front of all the who’s who of New York because her love of activism ran stronger than the need to look good. She’s constantly using her privilege for the greater good and I can’t help but admire that. Not even a wardrobe malfunction could slow her down. Ms. Park was right on time to perform her speech and the outpouring of support confirmed what we all know, this girl is on fire. Was it just me or did any of you notice how her speech even used her dress falling apart to her advantage? Ms. Park is one smart cookie, good thing she seems like she wants to help the world and not ruin it. And as Selena Gomez always said, “everything is not what it seems.” *queue theme song here*
The Second: #theAutocrat vs #theModel
You’d think I would be so over the drama between these two, but I can’t help it! They are my guilty pleasure and they always indulge me. I wonder whatever compelled Tyler Henry to approach Willa Duffy in the first place? Was Willa enchanting too many guests? Was she taking too much of the spotlight? Or was it because Willa was looking a little too cute laughing up a storm with Charles Carrington himself? Whatever the reason was, Ms. Henry was seven drinks too many in and confronting Willa Duffy in front of the whole gala!! Scandalous! I know I felt a shiver of excitement when I saw that showdown happening. These queens of New York were both so formidable with their consistent, calculated clapbacks, but it was apparent that the Queen Bee, Ms. Henry, stung Ms. Duffy one too many times. It's amazing to imagine how they could rule the whole city if they only joined forces once again. I know, I know, never gonna happen! It's the dreamer in me I can’t help it. Anyways, much like Tyler’s first confrontation, Willa left the scene first and while in many instances that would be a win. Is it really a win to act like a drunken fool in front of all your fiance’s family and esteemed guests? So who’s the real winner here? We are of course! We would like to thank Charlie for quite literally making the whole Tyler drama sweeter by removing her from the premise to grab a scoop to forget her stand-up dad.
So much time spent on Ms. Henry it’s safe to say she’s our Scandal of the Week. But there are so many who also caught our interest never fear!
Ms. Duffy where is your shadow? Consider us shocked at not seeing the Duffy twins attached at the hip. We know he was there or did he bail out before the party even got started? Perhaps it’s a good thing, we can’t imagine you would have charmed as many guests with your demon of a brother at your side.
Drew Koenig, your foolish, misogynistic attempts to win over Bella De La Rosa Lopez did not go unnoticed. You might like your women like you like your drinks, “sweet and a little spicy,” but I’ve heard Bella likes her men how most people like their wine. Luck for us, Ms. De La Rosa ended her night dancing with Ms. Duffy and not with the likes of you.
@pixilated: Some advice for Charlie Carrington, if you want people to respect your relationship with Tyler Henry, you best not be seen chatting it up and getting comfortable with her sworn enemy. Maybe he’s just trying to keep their enemies close.
My girl here has a point, we’ve been told that the Duffy’s and the Carrington’s have been friends for years but there is such a thing as loyalty to your loved one no? On the other hand there is something so cute seeing two friends laughing up a storm. The real truth here is that I’m a messy bitch and I live for this drama.
@pixilated: And one final word to the wise-- the Marthas of the world better throw caution to the wind and watch their back, I’m tryna steal your mans <3
I don’t know pixie, Jared seems pretty enamored with the one, the only, Willa Duffy, are the Marthas of the world the real threat here?
@pixilated: I don’t care who you are, if you have heart eyes for Jared Caldwell, I suggest wearing shades so I can’t pick you out of a crowd.
This concludes our honest review. If you didn’t see yourself mentioned don’t get comfortable, either you didn’t do anything worthy of a mention which *yawn* or we’re biding our time to comment on all the messy things you do. Both options make me want to spill all your deep dark secrets but my partner says waiting is key to ultimate satisfaction.
