#willaria

[igcttabe]

“ you’re crying? oh, how sweet, it doesn’t change a thing. “

ARIA RAISED HER HAND TO WIPE HER TEARS AWAY. she hadn’t been aware that she was crying in the first place, it was only that he’d pointed it out so cruelly that she knew to rid herself of them. “i’m not crying ‘cause i think it’ll change anything.” her words more of a mumble. she’d soon discovered that it didn’t matter where in the cage she sat, if they came in there to get her, then there was no hiding or getting away from them. therefore, she was sat practically by the door, at least that way she’d know they were coming. her body curled up into what could only be described as the smallest of balls, glancing up over her knees at him when she saw he was alone. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” her voice may have been a mumble but she made sure it was loud enough for him to hear her clearly from where he was. “your last session wasn’t enough for you? come back for more?” aria’s eyes were red and puffy from all the crying she’d been doing. she hated it. she felt weak and pathetic, everything edgar had taught her not to be but she didn’t know how to be any other way right now.  @bcssbitchs​ 

[igcttabe]

“  hey— look at me.  you can talk to me.  ”

THE ONLY TIME she hadn't been able to talk to him was when she first discovered who he was and what he was doing. this was the FIRST time since then where she felt that same sense of fear which made her SWALLOW her words rather than say them like she wanted to. aria didn’t want anyone else’s blood on her hands and if she SHARED how jeannie had been behaving towards her -- would he kill her? “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY --” oh, she wanted to tell him the truth, that’s what she wanted to say but she didn’t want it to be at the cost of someone’s life. ESPECIALLY not someone who seemed genuinely terrified of losing her friends because how many times had aria been in that EXACT same position at the hands of -A? she had been where jeannie was and it sucked, even if... even if she did deserve it. “i don’t think i can... NOT ABOUT THIS.” and the one person she could talk too? that was angie garza and she couldn’t tell him that. could she? HE COULD NEVER KNOW. would he think she was betraying him? that she was a traitor? because she loved him just as much now as she ALWAYS had. it wasn’t that. @bcssbitchs​

[igcttabe]

🤗 - Sneak up behind my muse and hug them

ARIA TOOK WALKS NOW. it was kind of her thing but after being trapped down in that cage for the period she had been… well, she certainly had more of an APPRECIATION for the outdoors now. she liked to be outside and it might have been weird and people might not understand it but she knew there were stranger ways to respond. AT LEAST THIS WAS HEALTHY. the last thing she was really expecting was for anyone to really stop her whilst she was out in one of the parks so when she felt arms around her from behind. yeah, it almost gave her a mild HEART ATTACK. “oh my god!” immediately when she realised who it was she couldn’t help but stop resisting his embrace and simply lean back into it a little. “JEEZ! you scared me! you almost had the label of bag imprinted around the side of your face!” aria did chuckle once her heart had climbed back down from her throat and SETTLED back into her chest. “what are you doing out here?” @bcssbitchs​

[igcttabe]

"here's hoping the new year is better than the last."

“i don’t know about better but it’s definitely going to be DIFFERENT than what i was planning.” clearly, seeing as she was going to spend her year in some cage like an animal when she was completely against zoos. this was not how karma was supposed to work but clearly it was just out to be a giant BITCH right now. aria had been sat on the floor and although she made no attempt to get up, she did shift herself closer to the glass so they could actually TALK. it wasn’t like she could afford to be petty and ignore him because if he left she was alone with her thoughts. they were NOT being kind to her right now either. “what are you hoping to happen here will?” did he have a plan? because he always seemed to have a plan and now she asked she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it. “or do you want me to go FIRST?” @bcssbitchs​

[igcttabe]

“I tell you I love you. I always tell you. Why don’t you believe me?”

“because if i chose to believe you and you’re LYING to me AGAIN. that, THAT i might not live through. you of ALL people must understand that?” they had done the whole they could live without each other thing but they would NEVER EVER want to but this was different. it was completely different because he had lied and this wasn’t some white lie she could easily get over. he had lied about his name, about who he was, about ALL those long hours at work he did and what he spent doing with them -- when he could have been with her instead? what the hell was she supposed to do here? because she was TRYING, she was but she couldn’t just believe it because he said it... EVEN IF DEEP DOWN SHE DID, she couldn’t admit that to him just yet. “and it works both ways. if i told you i STILL loved you and if you let me out of here i wouldn’t say a word. what then? would you believe me?” IT WAS THE TRUTH, it was strange but even from the moment she had found out it was him, she knew she couldn’t stop loving him... no matter how screwed up that was... no matter what it looked like... SHE LOVED HIM, she just wanted to know if he believed that... if he was asking her to do something he couldn’t do himself. 

@bcssbitchs​

[igcttabe]

“  no  one  will  hurt  you  again,  or  i’ll  kill  them.  ”

THOSE WORDS WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING HER COMFORT and there was a small part of her that did feel comforted by that. it was stupid but the only reason that statement made her NERVOUS was because she knew that he would. she didn’t want the death of anyone else on her conscious but at the same time the level of HURT she had been put through was extreme on anyone’s level. no one could blame him for being protective and it was nice to have that for a chance as she finally broke her SILENCE. “i’m not the same person that i was. i’m not as easy to hurt and that i can only see as a good thing because it used to happen... A LOT. more than i even want to admit to myself.” perhaps it was and perhaps on some scale it wasn’t but this was who she was and she was DEALING with that. “is that what’s been bothering you? you think they are going to try and hurt me?” @bcssbitchs​ 

[igcttabe]

“  as  soon  as  i  see  someone  else  close  to  you,  i  get  jealous.  ”

“and if i told you that you had NO reason to be jealous?” aria moved so she could take a seat on his lap which may not have been the most APPROPRIATE action, however, it wasn’t like she had straddled him or anything as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “the only person i want to go home with tonight is YOU and maybe a young leonardo dicaprio but for what it’s worth? I WOULD CONSIDER SHARING.” a playful smile pulling at her lips as she leaned forward to rub her nose gently against his, not in a hurry to move from the comfort and safety of his lap. “jealously? that’s new though?” or was it? she didn’t really see it as a BAD thing as long as it was in healthy doses. “I’M INTRIGUED. what does a jealous will --” she glanced around to make sure no one could over hear them as she used his real name. “emmerson. look like?” @bcssbitchs​

[igcttabe]

‘ life isn’t supposed to be painless. ‘ 

ARIA HAD BEEN SILENT FOR A WHILE, the first time he came in trying to start a conversation she knew she’d bitten his head off. he’d backed her into a corner and she was scared, hurt and when she PANICKED her mouth ran away with itself and… that was the result. she talked and she talked and usually before she knew it she was saying something she REGRETTED. when he spoke this time she lifted her head slowly to look at him from the ball she’d curled herself into. it wasn’t like she was going ANYWHERE, right? she just had to sit and wait whatever this was out. “NO, it’s not.” aria still AGREED with him, even now, she still found herself not disagreeing with what he had to say. like he’d said... when did they disagree on ANYTHING? “but does it really have to hurt this much though?” and this did hurt, all of it. “when i saw that body strapped to that table all bloody and motionless? I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU and i... i couldn’t breath because in my mind the WORST possible thing had happened -- i had lost you, you were gone and i was going to have to live this stupid life without you! I DIDN’T KNOW IT COULD GET ANY WORSE but it has, right? because now i have to live this stupid life knowing i can’t stop fucking thinking about you even though you were NEVER mine to lose to begin with.” that was it, right? that was the jiist of it. “IF I’M WRONG... PLEASE TELL ME.” he might have tried previously but she couldn’t have heard it, she couldn’t have heard a single word with how freaking OVERWHELMED she’d been. 

@bcssbitchs​