#willchats

[mortifyingwill]

One cure for constant exhaustion please

[mortifyingwill]

Huzzah 2.8 kilos down from sw everyone clap

[mortifyingwill]

Guess who moved back to her parents house...

[mortifyingwill]

I'm so aesthetical

188ƙcał

[mortifyingwill]

Idk something abt aspiring to someone else's perception of me really puts me into a ravenous ambition fueled madness idk abt yall

[mortifyingwill]

I have a party to look forward too in juneeee omg it's a Greek mythology bday party oh you bet I'm going as Hylas

Like

Alsooooo

I think I might be mildly sort of not really maybe into someone thereeeee

Fasting motivation perhaps...

[mortifyingwill]

I died a few months ago

I received my notice of death in the post, the letter dated an impossible year and the paper as yellowed and wrinkled as the temples of an old woman

I very much felt alive in that moment, enjoying my tea at my kitchen counter, perched on my one kitchen stool

I enjoyed the sun on my skin, the steam burning my throat

I very much was alive until that gnarled letter slipped under my door

The letter said that Ms. W. A had died on the 19th of the 171th month, no autopsy recorded as no body was found

And the department was very sorry to not have informed me sooner as it seemed her case had slipped through their cracks

And gave me a helpline at the bottom for those struggling with grief

I never called it, of course

Scared that the dialtone would signify my elopement from the world

Terrified that no one would pick up and I truly would be dead

Instead I walked to the bus stop

Waited for hours until a rickety old thing pulled up

The doors opening and the stench of mildew and weed making themselves very known to my nose

Like well meaning houseguests keen to take their shoes off and curl their toes into a sofa

The driver looked at me behind foggy glasses

Ghosts of fingerprints shielding his eyes from me

Getting on?

I shake my head

He shrugged and drove off, dust kicking itself under his tires

[mortifyingwill]

I think I am a collection of pretty things