@wingslain messenger: “i won’t get hurt, i promise.”
HE HAD THIS DREAM REPEATED TO HIM EVERY NIGHT, the two back together. Sitting cross one another, sipping a cup of coffee that if anyone were to even attempt drinking it would be utterly disgusted by the bitter flavor that it had. At first, he believed it was real. That everything that had happened between the two was all but a fiction of his imagination, nothing but a fabricated tale that his cruel mind came up.
( If only such a thing were true. )
HOWEVER, THAT WAS NOT THE CASE. It played out all the same to him, over and over. The two chattings with one another, Sandalpohon commenting on a nightmare that he had. Struggling at first of saying it but soon enough he found himself explaining said dream.
And the response would be all the same.
NOTHING BUT COMPLETE SILENCE FILLED THE AIR, no sound coming from Lucifer, himself and everything around them. And then the sound was broken by the sudden sound of the coffee cup being placed down upon the little plate that came along with it, lips parting as a soft and gentle tone escaped right after.
❛ It won’t get hurt, I promise. ❜
ONLY THEN, DOES HE FOUND HIMSELF WAKING UP. A sharp gasp of air, heavy breathing followed along right afterward ( relax, just breathe ) he told himself after a minute did his muscle found themselves relaxed. He didn’t even dare to look around where he was, he already knew the answer to such a question. The reality settling in long ago, before in the past he had to take look around the room. Some times even getting out of bed, questioning if he was in a dream itself but after having them repeated did he found himself accepting that this was reality, and the time that he had spent with Lucifer was nothing more than a dream. Sandalphon slowly pushed himself up from where he had laid. Ruby orbs narrowed down, only finally deciding to shift his attention to the time ( 2:15 AM, the same time as the previous night. )
HE WISHED SUCH DREAM DID NOT PLAGUE HIS MIND, yet, he was not foolish enough to not figure out why he kept getting these nighter terrors every night. Pulling his legs up to his chest, he found his arms wrapping themselves around them ( hugging as though he was a child. )
WHAT LIES THEY WERE. AND THEY BOTH KNEW IT DEEP DOWN. An empty promise that was only made to bring some sort of comfort to the younger angel. He should have known better than to believe his words... So why did he? Believing such ideas, believing in a promise that would never be fulfilled in the end. He knew better than to believe it, but he had high hopes on it being kept. Which only frustrated him the more that he had thought over about it, wanting to yell and scream. But not over Lucifer breaking his promise to him, far from it. He was upset with himself, angry that he even made him say such words to him. He should have been the one making the promise to him instead, that he would do everything in his power to protect him. That no harm would come forth to him even If he was at his own last breath, he should have been the one telling Lucifer that he was going to prevent any sort of harm onto him.
( so, why didn't he do that? )
Ah, of course, cause he was afraid.
AFRAID OF FAILING HIM, UNABLE TO KEEP A PROMISE just as Lucifer had failed on keeping his promise to Sandalphon. And even If he were to go back in time, he would fail him in the end. If he did not have the strength to believe that he was good enough for the role that he was given in the past, who could say that he would have the strength to even say words such as those. Perhaps, it would have looked childish if he had said those words. Perhaps, even bring some sort of offensive to the other for even attempting to utter such words to him. Lucifer was not weak or helpless... ( that what he had thought in the past. )
SUDDENLY HE FELT SOMETHING ON HIS ARM, something wet and warm. Catching his attention, a tilt of the head to the side, as he noticed a small drop tear and then another one... And another one soon after. Eyes fluttered in confused, placing his hand upon his cheek noticing the tears falling from his eyes. There was nothing but silence at first, and then a deep sigh.
❛ Not again... ❜
HE SPOKE, TONE AS QUIET AS HE COULD POSSIBLY DO as to avoid the chances of the other one hearing him. It had not been the first time that he’s done it, admittedly, he was growing tired of the endless nights of him crying. But he couldn't found himself easily be stopping it. Instead, he ended up only wiping them with his sleeve laying back down as he closed his eyes once more.
DESPITE NO ONE BEING IN THE ROOM WITH HIM, he could not help but utter one final word before he fell into another deep slumber.
❛ I really am a coward heh---? ❜
A Pause, another deep sigh.
❛ ...I'm sorry Lucifer, for not protecting you... ❜
NO ONE WORD HAS HELD THE WEIGHT of so many possibilities. He’s had been adamant about going, going where? To his new ‘home’, someplace called The Old Woodland. Most would have questioned where they were, possibly wanting answers on how to exist such a place. None of those ideas came in mind, instead, it was something much more entirely ( something far much more important to him. )
‘ Our system has located a suitable roommate by the name Lucifer ‘
( IT HAD TO BE SOME SORT OF CONFIDENCE ) he thought, ---- there must have been others with such names like that ( right? ) Of course, he could not avoid it forever, he had to enter in there soon enough. This is what bought him here, a sense of urge building up, but he ignored them. Ignoring every little thing that had been running through his mind, even the familiar aura that he senses he would ignore.
IT WOULD BE A LIE TO SAY HE WASN’T NERVOUS, though; because that wasn’t true at all and for the first time since arriving, his attention is suddenly drawn to the door as he hears someone. Even though the wood, he recognized that muffled voice, adrenaline shoots through him, coupled with excitement and a pinch of nerves as Sandalpon’s hand gripped the doorknob. He holds his breath and counts to three.
One... ( he turned the knob )
Two...( he opened the door. )
@wingslain messenger: ❛ Because I can’t stay away. ❜
Clack.
Clack.
Clack.
HIS HEELS CLICKED AGAINST THE MARBLE FLOOR, the echoing even louder throughout the quiet halls. the enclosed spaces that once reminded him of home now felt like a stranger’s home ( as though he didn’t actually belong here anymore. )
Did he even belong here, to begin with?
RED EYES SHIFTED AWAY WITH ANNOYMENCE BY THE PERSON following behind him, the whole thing only making him more tempted to speed faster ----- he wanted nothing, nothing to do with him, that what he kept reminding to himself that is. Only did he stopped by the warmth of his hand gently grabbing his, did he finally decided to face him.
❛ Leave me alone, Lucifer. You lied to me, You... You betrayed me?! ❜
❛ But I---- ❜
❛ I don’t want to hear it----! ❜
Silences.
❛ ...Why can’t you let go of me already?! ❜
❛ Because I can’t stay away. ❜
More silences ( lips trembling, heart beating fast and than... )
❛ Yes, you can. ❜
THERE’S A HUFF, LOUD AND EXAGGERATED, PULLING HIS HAND AWAY and clenches his fists as he felt his nails dig into his skin deeply but not enough to cause him any sort of bleeding, thankfully. He was meant to only be a vessel, a replacement If anything were to happened to Lucifer. Perhaps, he should have been much happier, happier to finally found what his purpose was all along. He should have been happy over this, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t even attempt too If he so desired.
THERE WAS A PART OF HIM THAT ONLY WANTED TO SCREAM in frustration, yell and even curse the world itself... but there was another part of him that only wanted to break down in tears, a quaver of fear within him. Why did it have to be him? He’s not fit for this role ( you’ll never be as good as him ) such thoughts running over, whisper voices that he’s trying to ignore.
Why?
Why him?
Why did it have to be him of all people?
You’ll never be good. He thought. He’s strong, powerful, untouchable, you are the other hand are not.
Why am I not good enough?
HIS HAND MEEKLY COMES TO COVER; Juicer on his chest, his breath shallow.
❛ You’ve hurt me enough already, ❜ he says, eyes closing tiredly. Not allowing him to speak whatsoever, hand moving away from a step back as he finally met eye to eye with him. A clear sign of anger on his expression, and yet deep within his eyes there was a tad bit of sadness and without another word, he leaves.
@wingslain messenger: ❛ I’d want someone to hold my hand until the end. ❜
THE OTHER, RATHER PREOCCUPIED WITH WHAT HE WAS WORKING ON at his desk, didn’t even look up as Lucifer entered in. It was only after he spoken, that Sandalphon finally lifted his head arching a delicate brow as he turned his head. Bright ruby orbs widening, lashes fluttering as he stared in silence first. The words that he said to him bought him a sense of worry, something that he has yet to fully understand what it meant. There were many emotions that he had yet to fully grasp, a life he did not fully understand. Did he even have a purpose? Ahh, many questions wonder through his mind, however, he figured that not even Lucifer would be able to answer those.
NEVERTHELESS, THIS WAS NOT ABOUT HIM AT THE MOMENT; Lucifer who was beautiful, talented, untouchable, was showing a side of him that even bought Sandalphon’s stomach to turn, his heart to ache, and his very soul pulsing with loss. Oh, how he wishes he could give Lucifer that request he had to seem to be asking. ----- And then, at that moment he realized something. He stood up from where he had been seated, eyes looking up with his expression being emotionless at first ( only for his lips to curve upwards from ears to ears. )
MAYBE HE DIDN’T HAVE A PURPOSE, MAYBE HE DID AND HE HAS YET to be told what it is. Right now, that hardly mattered to him. Whatever he was meant to be, he will find out one day but not today. However, what he can do for not just Lucifer but himself, in a way was to bring some sort of comfort. ❛ I heard that If you... ❜ Sandalphon’s voice is soft, a whisper along with the breeze, his words full of a morning that is his and yet is not. His fingers itch to reach out and touch Lucifer’s own, to allow him to feel the warmth of his and another feeling that had been deep inside of him that he has yet to fully know what it is. Sandalphon doesn’t know if they’ll ever be quite there, if they can bridge through what they both been longing for between them. ❛ Hold somebody’s hand like this, that means you care deeply about them. ❜ ------- That had been what he heard and understood. ❛ I will hold this hand of yours until the end of time, together. ❜
@wingslain messenger: ❛ I would have torn apart the world to get you back.. ❜
A MOMENT WHEREIN THINGS GREW SERIOUS BETWEEN THE TWO; his gaze softened, head tilting into his palm before a gentle sigh sounded forth. ❛ Nonsense, I doubt you would do that--- ❜ His voice trailed off but, he neglected to add on what he had meant by those words of his ---- he could destroy the world only in the hope of returning back to him? Only a fool would do such a thing ( and only a fool would believe such empty words. ) Sandalphon, however, was the fool that wanted to believe such words. ❛ Lucifer... ❜ he begins softly, a shy smile dancing across his face as his eyes met with his, ❛ To torn apart the world only to return to my side---? It sounds like a cruel joke If you were to ask me. ❜ His tone wasn’t accusatory, only flat and emotionless as he stated a face that was simply bound to occur.
GENTLY, HE BRUSHES HIS FINGERS AGAINST THE CUP; eyes slowly shutting themselves the smile remaining on his face as he said those words. ❛ But I’m happy to hear those words... ❜ He whispered softly, remaining to keep his eyes closed as he finally decided to take a sip from the cup as silence fell between the two now.
@wingslain // meme: accepting. // ❛ madness , too , can be cumulative ❜
⸨ ♚
MADNESS HAS DRIVEN WARLORDS TO MINDSETS UNHOLY AND VILE BEFORE. Wicked King Vortigern was an usurper who vilified himself, groomed by hatred so cultured it made his maws drip with the bloody elixir of insanity. “That it can. Accumulate as it may, however, all variants of ill intent meet their ends at my feet. Be it by the authority of my Holy Lance or the sharpened will of Excalibur, they shall perish.”
“-- so I invite madness unto me. Should you find yourself in its company, welcome it to the edge of my blade.”
