#wingygaming

[wingygaming]

My collectors edition addiction and my plea for help!

When I contacted Game the store, nervously quivering with excitement at what I had just innocently stumbled across online, it was then; that precise kernel of time when i knew I had a problem. This sh*ts getting worse for me my gangstas. Prickly beads of hot sweat budding on my forehead. Breathing deeper and at a faster rate. I'm sick, I needed this f***ing sh*t and I'll get it. 

I said to Game, all giddy, voice trembling like a freshly gobbed on Justin Bieber fan... 

"Saints Row 4 has Empower Zinyacks Game Of The Generation Edition. I need it!!!" 

I had neither checked the price, nor had I displayed any concern to such trifling details as to what was to come with this gaming equivalent of a grotesquely over sized Kinder Egg. A Kinder Egg that costs over one hundred pounds. 

This ridiculously bloated, sweaty edition of Saints Row 4 arrives complete with a spinning illuminated case to put your game in! This is where the trembles begin. That heady rush of the addiction speeds up my heartbeat. I'm already lightly salivating at the thought of testing the weight of the product in both hands before opening it. This is real gaming collectors obsessive stuff...

This Saints Row 4 Game Of The Generation Edition comes with a spinning case! Is that not amazing? Right there and then, the pieces of gold required increase. I have to get it. Imagine displaying your all time favourite game in this glorious heavenly plinth! Be it Saints Row or something else worthy of its all encompassing grandeur. Weep real tears from each eye ball and gaze upon this picture:

So quite clearly I have issues. I know it makes no sense to keep doing this to my self but I continue to do so. I feel stripped of my essence and cheated within if I purchase a copy of a game without some form of completely unnecessary tripe bundled along with it. 

I have had this Collectors Edition Syndrome for a while. This blog presents neither the solution nor the understanding, more a place for me to verbally release the flood gates of pain, to someone. Dear god.

The Saints Row 4 version I have already pre ordered arrives alongside a plastic toy gun that pumps out dubstep; a toy model figure; plus a plastic button, that doesn't do anything. It's just a red button. Like the president has... yes...one of them nuclear get ups. No bombs attached though. Just the button. To look at. 

Yet somehow, within the dank caverns of my dusty braincells, this fact I will physically own a version of the Wub Wub gun; in my hands, is quite possibly one of the greatest things to happen to any man upon this earth. Are there others out there that feel like this, that have this need to purchase these exclusive editions just because?

At the time of writing this blog I'm not even sure the "spinning case" edition is available in the UK but I need that, I need the sweet hit. I will get it, and the shakes have returned. I paid an additional £40 for the "Wub Wub" edition of Saints Row 4 in itself already. Proposterous.  

It seems I can't actually resist that beefed up version of a standard title, but why? It was then, with the release of this latest Saints Row game i realised, I have some kind of problem. Gaming as a hobby can be expensive enough, without the addition of an overpriced toy to fatten up the total cost of the product.

Collectors editions of games, I have never been able to resist their teasing beckon. The more elaborate flamboyant and boxed physically bigger, the better. The cool steel book against my warm fleshy cheek. In effect, every game I purchase, I pay almost double the price for it. Simply to have the toys inside... I can't help it. The in game extra weapons and levels that inevitably come with it all are cool but it's the plastic dolls; the bits, the feeling of exclusivity, which isn't really that exclusive. 

The awkwardness of explaining to the mrs why I own a plastic toy figure of Lara Croft via the Tomb Raider survival edition is only slightly more unsettling then knowing I am actually slightly attracted to this figure. Here we are together in a video:

Add to that, I could actually purchase the toy (and the other trinkets) separately anyway on the website! That exclusive collectors edition wasn't even exclusive! Which tends to be the case with many of these so called exclusive editions. Why not buy the individual trinkets I want? Because I am a tool.

So it seems, in every which way that the good lord can dictate, I'm getting mugged. 

So why do I waste my money on this total sh*t. My Halo Reach legendary edition being arguably the peak of this ridiculousness. Despite this being some seriously cool shiz. Check my video here...

Why do I do it? Why is there a fat copy of Grand Theft Auto 5 with a Los Santos baseball cap that will of course be too circus clown- esque; hilariously small to even perch atop my proud shaven shining black dome. Complete with a useless "safety deposit" bag and other shite, why is this waiting for me? Pre ordered since it was announced. Why do this to myself? Why am I paying £100+ for a game I could be paying £40 for? Why are the tears falling again down my cheeks? 

I'm almost as excited for the physically larger than average box the extra goodies are coming in, than I am the exclusive bits themselves. Weird and strange. 

The only conclusion I've baked up, is my love of games goes beyond simply playing them on a screen as the mortals do. My love of games starts at the most basic level. The pretty sexy packaging they arrive wrapped in. 

It's akin to, reading the game instruction manuals on the bus on the way home as a kid. A joy strictly reserved for us old school gamers. The manuals were thick back then and of course we took the bus home from town, we were kids! Sat there reading every page engrossed. This then ritually continued with the time honoured ceremony of cracking the Megadrive cartridge right out of the case. Sniffing the thing, drinking in its newness. Pushing it into the Megadrive slot, the ever so subtle resistance as we went deeper. Or the solid definiate snap of the original NES cartridges entering.

The extra trinkets we can touch and play with in exclusive editions today, perhaps, in some way, are harking back to these memories of more physical intimate contact with our games. Instead of handling them with the precision of a surgeon as we remove our brand new Blu-Ray or DVD from the game case, with the ever present fear of it snapping in two as we do so. Back then we had a more physical relationship with each title; it was the whole package. I think I'm onto something here...

It could be argued us collector and exclusive edition buyers are the most hardcore of gamers in a sense. Our life long obsession with the game begins to flourish before we've even played one second of the blasted thing.

I don't even display the horde of ludicrous treasure I've now amassed. They all remain boxed. Hidden away. Zombie dolls; statues; models; character journals. All still resting within their tombs, as if anticipating the moment some kind of life-force itself will drift over them via a magic mist and give them existence, breathe life into their very useless plastic being. For them then to rise as one and attack their master. A more bizarre and several times over disturbing remake of Toy Story. So it's not even for decorative reasons I get these things. 

Perhaps it's the retro hunter in me, my pursuit of all my old systems and games I traded in heartlessly in my older years has taught me to keep everything and get the best version now, to be preserved in the fashion of a classic vintage, let it age. 

As the next gen arrives, as consoles are purchased as my finances continue to dwindle and dry up due to my gaming in general, I come to this disturbing conclusion...

There's little time to think of bills; food; heating and electricity, when there's Splinter Cell plastic Sam Fisher model edition on the way in Blacklist. 

Sold to the gullible twat. 

© Wingy 2013

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[wingygaming]

Sony, I'm coming home. The Playstation 4

I've recently spent so much damn time busting precious limited blood vessels, defending the quivering Xbox One from backlash. Shielding the big black lump from the bile sprayed from hissing Lizard tongued ranting gamers. Protecting the machines honor as if it were a chaste and fair lady, and I’m doing this for reasons that can only be explained as actual crackpot insanity.

Consuming my energies with this venture of justice; a brave stance against persecution. So much time wasted attempting to extract the good juice from arguably the most disappointing and also at the same time bizarre reveal of a console possibly ever. It seems that I almost forgot, for the first time in over ten years, I will finally get to own a new console brand. Tis exciting.

My pre order is ready, that motherfker is slapped down. Like, what I’m sure it wouldn't be unfair to suggest, the majority of gamers, I’m getting a Playstation 4. However the Xboxer that still has a sole candle lit within me emitting dying shadows, has still been defending the Xbox One and with that, I seem to have forgot about the other baby due to arrive in my household soon. My pre ordered, launch day reserved, Playstation 4.

I’ve always felt like the fat boy left outside, while the pumping beats pulsating from within the sexy Playstation owners party, were thumping away behind exclusive entry only closed doors. Some harlot in stockings stumbling through the front to the outside world, mascara tears streaking down her face but none the less she’s laughing. Behind her a literal orge of drugs, shagging and slim cool people.

I haven’t owned a Playstation since the first one, so that party scenario to me is what owning a Playstation 2 & 3 has always seemed like, that elusiveness. The rave I never was allowed in to. Being involved in that slightly more cool, less mooby and nerd linger ish clique, I wonder what it feels like. (That’s what she..) There is just something about us Xboxers let’s be fair, we seem to be a bit nerdy. Not the cool nerdy you people faking on youtube channel, the uncool nerdy. Which is fine...

“Who gives a damn sh*t how cool you feel or look if you’re a gamer!!”

Very true you hollering brute at the back, i agree. However I still felt left out of a gaming clique, I wanted in. I think it was the big assed thick heavy nature of the first console. That enormous near circular fully functioning UFO which served as a joy pad for actual giants. All these original Xbox size issues contributed to the overall image of Xboxers. Like a lady with embarrassingly humongous feet, there was something slightly awkward about the size of the thing.

As a Gamer image means Zero in the grand scheme of things, but regardless, what true console fiend can call themselves such, if they never experienced Playstation 2 or 3? I almost feel embarrassed about this as a gamer. I have come to you the reader to confess and at the same time, heal from this burning shame. It’s going to be fun to instantly boost my sex appeal by purchasing a bad ass new Playstation 4, on LAUNCH day. Settle down ladies....you love it ;)

If you are a long time Playstation owner, this article is probably near alien talk to you. You have never had to be the second place console boy; no playing catch up. You've never had to read through magazine articles that sheepishly proclaim that the Xbox or even Xbox 360 is “almost” as powerful as the Playstation 2 or 3. Never have you had to cringe to the point of tears when reading an Xbox magazine article or online blog stating “even though the PS3 is more powerful, power doesn't matter” Dear Lord above….

I have no desire to be second best again, gaming must come first not loyalty. For the third console generation in a row I have no wish to again own the one that’s not quite as good. Perhaps I have underlying issues; as i write and read this, my turmoil seems deeper than gaming lol. Of course the ultimate gamer would eventually own both Machines, this is still not out of the question for me. All I know for sure is that I’m hitting the ground running with a Playstation 4

Lighting a smooth Cigar and drifting away within a swirling cloudy haze of memories, thinking back to March 14th, 2002. The release of the Xbox. The first one. This is where my journey began upon the Microsoft path. I side stepped the Playstation 2 and Playstation 3. Having only acquired a 1st generation PS3 recently, a big snarling beast that intimidates the other consoles in my room. I often see punch marks and bruises on my other nervous and scared consoles beside it as I return after leaving the room.

My Xbox and Xbox360 have given me some of my most treasured memories of video gaming full stop. Forza series; Dead or Alive 4; the original Saints Row! The Halo series and a bevvy of actual beauties on disc. Fable of course! Gears of War; Crackdown series. Among hundreds of other exclusives. But I always felt that as a dedicated die hard gamer, I was missing a meaty slice of modern gaming; a certain culture of gaming I was always going to remain curious about. Peeking over the fence at what the Playstation kids were doing.

The God of War; Infamous and superb Killzone series. (A series having only recently played I can without doubt say as an Xboxer this easily stands alongside Halo. Perhaps surpassing it for sheer atmosphere) The Metal Gear Solids and even though the game flirts now and then with Xbox it’s quite clearly more at home with Sony. The uncharted series, the beautiful Little Big planet, The epic Gran Turismo games and more. I was missing out on so much. As a gamer, this has been a vacant chasm within me that has never been filled, woman nor liquor would satisfy the need. I want to drink the sweet Playstation milk and feel full and sated.

So only long time Xboxers who are amongst a new mass exodus walking in unison enchanted toward the blue PS4 light will be able to appreciate this new fresh feeling. One that is akin to being somewhat of a lost soul in rags, who perhaps, just maybe has been on the wrong spiritual path and is being welcomed back by a white robed heavenly figure with open arms. The Playstation God.

While I may or may not get a Xbox One I’m still a Xbox fanboy to some degree, so part of me feels a little sadness knowing I am in effect saying goodbye to the Xbox after two generations of purchasing. As much as I implore Microsoft to show me some real deal breaking titles, to rectify the  almost shockingly bad decisions they seem to have made. I'm still going Playstation 4.

There's a gentle sway of uneasiness within my stomach juices as I contemplate my switch, after riding with the Xbox since day one. However I can, for the first time since the original Playstation, tell Sony that I’m coming home. I can tell them that I’m coming home, and I've missed them so much.

© Wingy 2013

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