#wink rant

[winke77e]

Mental Abuse of Society

I feel so angry regarding the mental state of American Society. This country is so abused by the Greedy Ultra-Wealthy that people don’t even know what to believe anymore. 

Feel like crap after trying to explain to some FB friends how raising taxes won’t mean raising their taxes. They, who make for less than $70,000 a year, have been so convinced that any talk of taxes or better social services or public health systems, would strain THEIR meager finances. They’ve been told to fight against system changes to barely hold onto their pennies.

They don’t know that it’s all because the Ultra-Rich are the ones straining the tax system. The Ultra-Rich are the reasons why we “don’t have money” for better services. The Ultra-Rich have convinces all of us that we are weak, are lazy and useless. That we are incapable, and undeserving of better lives.

But it’s not ‘me’, they say. The Ultra-Rich don’t say that I am the reason, they don’t say that it’s my neighbor’s fault he can’t afford his medications. The Ultra-Rich imply that it’s “Them”. “Those People”. “The Weak” “The Unworthy” “The Lazy”.

But WE ARE THE ONES THE ULTRA-RICH CALL ‘WEAK’, ‘UNWORTHY’, AND ‘LAZY’!! We are the are the Rich’s scapegoats. They Blame Us for OUR Problems that THEY EXACERBATE, That they cause!

[winke77e]

adding up

water heater broke, haven’t went food shopping in two weeks, got 20 bucks in the bank, cred cards are maxed out from bills during lockdown, limits are being pushed. 

I can feel it. I’m right there. Right on the edge of just fucking crying and hiding from the world for the next three days

[winke77e]

Ugh, this is why I hate getting a job that's so labor-intensive or something so far out of my interests. Esp if it's not part time!

I have no mental energy when I get home. I just stand there, like, trying to understand what needs to be done and what to work on first but I can't focus on that, so I get nothing else done.

Bllleeeehhhhggg. I need to make a large calendar and write down everything I need/want to do.

Shit, I just remembered I have a doc appt on Tuesday too....

[winke77e]

Multitasking and Love!

poAnyone else have this problem where they have ideas faster than they can complete them?

I’ve been working on my Bittybones Fanfiction “Error” for 2 years and have only JUST figured out the ending to it. Despite that, my brain has also started up another story idea that is currently the main focus of my writing time. 

I try to write for ‘Error’ but don’t feel motivated to do that. Instead I want to work on the new fiction. 

And then I have the same problem with drawing. I have at least 3 paintings in progress scattered around my house. Then there’s the digital art that I have: A Reapertale series I started with @renrink, fanart for various fanfictions, digital design studies, portfolio building.

Then, on top of ALL THAT, there are other things that grab my attention as well; Learning German, learning to animate, drawing storyboards for animations i want to create, jobhunting, moving, degree research

Okay, writing all this out helps me a lot. I’m going to work on making multiple To-Do lists under different focuses. Then I can arrange them from most important to least important (regarding my immediate future, like next month). From there, I will make a schedule to keep me going!

Yes! I feel so much better! Thank you to all you beautiful people who follow me and love my work. You keep me moving forward and because of you, I have the biggest, goofiest grin on my face most days!

Much love to the artists that inspire me and help me by being their awesome selves <3 @renrink, @msmkcreates, @erevast, @skesgo, @docemoon145, @poetax, @anunusualvisitor, and many more! <3

[winke77e]

Safe Mode?

Scrolling through my dash and I noticed that ‘safe mode’ is on? I know I turned that off before, so I went to my settings to make sure and the option is gone? Safe Mode is enabled because it blocks certain account pages but I don’t have the Safe Mode Filter option to turn off. 

Anyone else have this problem? How do i turn it off?

[winke77e]

Healthcare = improvements across the board

So I had this moment of insight one night about American Healthcare.

See, in America, we DO NOT have any full-coverage healthcare system. Everything has to be paid for out-of-pocket at time of visit/checkout. Prices are made up, rules are made up, if you can't afford coverage you're called lazy etc etc etc.

And a big part of why we don't have Universal Healthcare is because a small collection of companies/insurance providers/pharmaceutical companies stand to make billions of $. So, if we get proper healthcare, then they lose $, right?

True, but then that leaves room for other exploitative companies and markets to lose billions too.

If you review other countries with proper universal healthcare companies, you see that they also have strong policies about what can be presented / advertised to the citizens of that country. Because the Govt is in charge of paying, they are incentivized to find ways to keep their people as healthy as possible, to reduce costs.

Now, imagine that in America, a country where EVERY. SINGLE. ASPECT. of a person's life is up for sale on the 'free' market. We have corporations rigging our school systems to funnel our tax dollars into their profits or to turn the school system into another economic source for profit. We have a toxic diet culture selling dangerous or toxic products as "supplements". The food industry pays heavily to avoid more regulation. Public transportation is non-existent because oil giants refuse to see a reduction in oil-based products like fuel for vehicles.

So much of an American's daily life, is dictated for them, not for the person's health, but to improve the chance for profit to any one or more company.

If we just implement Universal Healthcare, that would have ramifications across all areas of toxic, unchecked capitalistic markets. Because then the Government would actually have to WORK IN OUR FAVOR.

To reduce healthcare costs, they would actually have to restrict or straight ban false "diet foods" or "supplements" because we have research showing that so many of those items cause bodily harm, which leads to needing Medical Care

Science has shown that properly educated people make better choices for their health and simply have jobs that pay enough to have access to better foods, which reduces the need for Medical Care

Walking more and using public transportation (or straight driving less) contributes to better health which reduces Medical Care

By making our Government have to PAY FOR OUR CARE, that means they would have a strong incentive to actually TAKE CARE of Americans. There would be a monetary reason to reduce all the sources of exploitive company practices.

But right now our Government has little-to-no-reason to take care of the American people. Our current quality of life has fallen so far that our average lifespan has started dropping, and the Government's (and corporations) solution to this problem is to demand people have more babies.

Money is a powerful motivator, but it can be used to incentivize the slow degradation of a Country, or to force accountability onto the pillars of a broken system.

We need to make the negative impacts of our Government's inaction a problem for our Government.

Right now we are told that if something is wrong in our life, it is our fault. But it's hard to choose the right things, when you're presented all the wrong things.

[winke77e]

Random AI Rant

there is A LOT wrong with AI in regards to taking jobs and undermining creatives of all levels.

My random focus is actual Creation. Like, AI is computer algorithms, it know what you tell it and nothing more. It looks at pictures fed into it (legally or illegally, with or without permissions) and only registers the styles or techniques accociated with that image based on words used by humans.

It's like AI story-writing is just using all the same words from the dictionary and putting them in An Order. But there's no nuance, creativity, hidden meanings.

Example; "The Circle Series" by Ted Dekker. How would you instruct AI to write something even close to that? It's made of 4 books, and called the "circle series" because it can literally be read in a circle, and the meaning of the story changes depending on what book you start with.

No, seriously.

I read "Black" first becuase it was the first book I found. It was also the first book published in the series. Read from there, It's a story of a man who finds himself in an alternate reality who spends the rest of the series fighting for a Deity to save both worlds.

The last book publish was "Green". If you read that one first, it turns focus on the Diety instructing the MC on how to save the worlds and sending MC through different realities to do so. What if you read "White" first? Or "Red"? All the same books, no editing, no altered versions, but written and created so intricately that the series makes sense no matter which book you start with.

AI can't do that. More important, It will never be able to create that without such heavy influence from a human that they would essentially be writing the whole thing anyway.

Regarding Artwork, AI doesn't create, it copies. Think like Photoshoping you're favorite art pictures together and then blending them just enough to make it all one cohesive image. Maybe you like the way Artist A draws faces, but the Eye Style of Artist B, with the color pallet of Artist C and D. AI doesn't create, it copies.

Ai Art will never Create. You will never hear of a new Art Movement driven/started by AI. Movements are created by emotions felt strongly among a group of people who have similar consensus of the reality around them.

The Renaissance was the restudy of old Greek knowledge. If you had an AI model of the art style before the Renaissance, you would have computer programmed flat images, with size depicting societal importance and No perspective. Artists of the Renaissance wanted to make the humans in painting more Real, they wanted to perfect perspective, they wanted to really bring out colors.

You can't simply instruct AI to forget everything it studied before and tell it to start learning living movement of humans in daily life, or the measures to create perspective onto a 2D plane. Those artists Created 2-point perspective, 3 point perspective. Foreshortening.

That's why I, personally, dislike AI generated works. It has no Creativity. It has no Inspiration. It has nothing. The people behind it, the worst people who support it, do so because they think it's a means to showcase their talent without actually Developing the Skills to do so. They think it "levels the playing field" but it doesn't. It's just another excuse for the people who cry "I could have made that" to continue to think that they could actually make anything, without putting in the effort or knowledge or basic understanding of what Artwork and Creation really is.

Rant over.

Side rant; A good part of the Creation Process is learning so much in one topic, and then choosing to ignore half of it. Choosing, being the key word there. I don't think you can instruct a program to learn human anatomy, and then say "fuck it" halfway through so you can make a new alien species that doesn't look human while remembering the reasons for bone connections, muscle length, and the effects of gravity on them. The algorithm will always refer back to everything it has ever scanned, and you will have to create a new algorithm to undo all of it. Or just redo the Program all over again, but you'll have to do that every time you want to change the focus or style or anything really.

[winke77e]

Personal Growth Diary:

I've shared before about trouble I had growing up as a child and a teen, but there has always been something else bothering me. Something I was lacking in. Something that, if I could just fix, would magically solve all my problems.

So I always looked up to my Dad because he seemed the most "put-together" adult in my life.

When I had problems, I went to my dad. Questions? Dad. Need motivation? Dad.

But no matter how often I spoke with him, I never seemed to solve that Something that bothered me.

Then I stumbled upon this Ted Talk about the Stories told of your life; either from yourself or others. It took a bit more evaluating but I eventually realized I was fighting against my Dad's story of me.

My dad is probably one of the most stereotypical "standard, white guy" you could imagine. Religious, tall, business man, confident, social, active, etc.

But I describe him as "the type of man with no desire to fight society" because his life has always been dictated to him "grow up, get married, have kids, become a boss or own your own business, stay in church, be the 'bread-winner'" basically every stereotypical expectation for a white man from the 70s, 80s

He has a good life, but doesn't know how to handle hardship/stress. He is a loving husband, but doesn't support his wife or kids when in an argument. He is very active socially and physically, but calls anyone who does less than him "lazy".

And that was His story of me: lazy. Lazy, unmotivated, "you don't try hard enough", "you don't do enough", "you can't do this", "girls don't do that", "you've failed at this before", and so on for so long

I had internalized his story of me even though he never really saw my daily life, struggles, hardships, nothing. He doesn't 'believe' in depression or ADHD, so it comes down to me simply not trying hard enough. He's only seen me change jobs often and thus believes that I don't work hard enough or good enough. He's seen me struggle with running track or sprinting and thus laughed at me when I told him i was joining the Army, because I wasn't physically fit.

BUT! After listening to that Talk and thinking on it, I realized how Amazing I really am. I've known how truly capable I was for a while, but it was never framed against my Dad's story of me as lazy. I've always seen my achievements against manipulative work conditions or abusive societies, never against a parent's version of me.

Excuse me; "I don't work hard"?? Uh, I get 8 hours worth of work done in 5.5hrs, thank you. In the Military, I administered an IV under simulated combat conditions in less than 10 seconds. I have won art competitions across this Nation, I have surpassed my bosses expectations on projects, I have taken care of teams, and taken on stressful situations to protect others. Don't tell me how hard you think I can work.

You call me "lazy"??? Under what conditions?? Exercise? No, I hate running, but you know what? Give me 200 pounds of gear and a map and I'll hike 12 miles in a day. At work? Please, it's already done, you just came by to give me the work and then 'checked' on me an hour later. Personal scheduling? No I will not overwork myself to meet your constantly moving standards that mean nothing to me.

I'm sorry Dad. I love you, but I've learned you're not good for me. Your idea of me, is wrong, and I need time and distance to write my own story fully.