Turning down an aisle of the local grocery store that Teddy hoped he’d find pickles in, he caught sight of a familiar auburn haired girl a ways away down the same aisle, staring intensely at something he couldn’t see from a distance away. Grin appearing on his face, he quickly tip toed towards her, hands coming up to cover her eyes and shout, “Guess who!” probably a bit too loudly for their close proximity, “He’s super cool, pretty handsome, I’d like to say. Has really soft hands too, I hope. Thinks you’re the coolest chick on the block, fuck what Jenny has to say.” As he spoke, Teddy leaned in closer and closer to Lana’s ear, finally sneaking a quick kiss to her cheek after poorly describing himself to punctuate his sentence. @lanajvmeson
First and foremost please don’t come into my inbox bitching abt how noncanon this is bcs my portrayal of Loki as both Aesir and Jotunn is completely canon divergent save for like one comic and a few select versions of norse legend.
𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐀𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒:
SKIN
PALATE
IMMUNE SYSTEM
MENSTRUAL TROUBLES
𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍. No illusion there. In temperatures above freezing his skin remains that of the Aesir– soft and mammalian (but far tougher than human flesh, these people can take getting SHOT by fully automatic weapons without getting so much as a scratch, okay. Their skin definitely isnt 100% like ours). In temperatures below freezing however? A layer of muscle beneath his skin tenses, his skin itself hardens beyond that of your typical Asgardian, geometric markings raise on his flesh, his eyes seal over with a protective red layer, and slowly but surely, he turns blue. It takes about ten minutes total for him to fully make the transition.
His Jotunn form allows Loki to survive even the harshest of cold, making usually deadly temperatures to Aesir a mere stroll on the beach for him. The downside to this, though, is that Loki overheats insanely easily even without his Jotunn blue triggered. Summer has always been a pain for him unless he was wearing the absolute bare minimum. He’s gotten heat exhaustion more times than he can count. He’s never really enjoyed saunas. Showers are always cold, and the only time he can bear a hot bath is when his period cramps have made it impossible to function like a person. Loki’s inability to function in hot weather made it difficult to spend time with other children his age, so it only added to his childhood social isolation and awkwardness.
𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 is notably different than that of the average Asgardian. While his peers often reach for rich deserts, steaks, and aged cheeses, Loki finds himself gravitating more toward seafood, birds, and certain flora– like bitter spring salad mixes and spinach. Vinegar has always held a certain appeal, too. More than once has Frigga caught Loki drinking directly from a jar of pickled preserves.
Dairy often makes him queasy and nauseous if he indulges more than just a little. And while not completely UNABLE nor unwilling to eat sweets, they are often few and far between with him. Too much of even something he actively enjoys will make him overwhelmed and vaguely sick, so he often sticks will small indulgences of dark, dark, dark chocolate, savory pasties with bitter berries, and honey with his tea when the mood strikes him. His dairy consumption is quite similar– except for the fact too much milk will literally make the poor guy upchuck. He likes goat cheese, maybe some butter with his toast, and the occasional addition of some cream in his tea, but otherwise he hardly touches the stuff if he can help it.
𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌 is pretty shot. He was nearly constantly sick up until about 850. Horrible cough one month, ear infection the next. Fevers for the next few weeks, unexplainable shakes and aches the next. Frigga and Odin were sure Loki wouldn’t survive past his adolescence– but here he stands now, stronger and (relatively) healthier than ever. Loki is still fairly susceptible to illness, but he does his best to combat it whenever he can. Especially when traveling around strange planets that certainly would harbor diseases his immune system is nowhere near ready for.
𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 is often irregular, painful, and unpredictable in Loki’s experience. Some months he wouldn’t bleed at all. Others it would be nearly 7 days of blood with harsh cramps, heavy flow, and PMS. It was hell to deal with on his own, but it got a little better when he went on HRT for a couple of years. After going off of it the bloody hell returned once again within only a few months, and since then he’s been coping with the help of special teas and a “just get through it” attitude, as he can’t be bothered to properly diagnose the problem.
