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last final of undergrad and maybe ever complete and its a beautiful summer day... oh david benioff we're really in it now

#everything is more beautiful because we're doomed isnt it #you will never be lovelier than you are now. we will never be here again..#i get it now. i get it now. yeah.#oregon has never looked more beautiful than it does in my last few days in the state #so much so im wondering if i even really want to leave #and i will. i have jobs waiting for me the campsites are booked and ill want to when the time comes im sure #but god. sitting here under a massive oak branching far out above my head in the gentle late afternoon i ache for it #the heart only works backwards or whatever the saying is. only now that its leaving do i realize how much i loved it here #im only realizing how beautiful it is now that its doomed.#quote at beginning of tags is from troy by david benioff btw #winter.yap #never graudate college this shit takes me out back and shoots me dead every other hour

would you guys still love me if i wrote an extensive prose-y goodbye to college letter snd post it here.

#its the last say of classes today and im listening to evergreen ft caamp and having big feelings #winter.yap

got pulled to furia like a moth to a fucking flame without even thinking about The Implications of the fact fallen's retiring at the end of the year and. oh no. oh no. this is suddenly seeming like quite familiar territory

#in his retirement announcement speech at iem rio he literally started it with the number of days left in the year #he started it with the countdown. before there was any other context there were 247 days.#suddenly im back in last year's apartment endlessly procrastinating taking anything off my walls because that's admitting its almost over #suddenly im back in my kitchen two summers ago watching the stacks of wet food cans whittle down to zero #and im back in my study abroad room doing the same thing watching the calendar tick closer to june 14th #and im at my last dance co show ever lingering in the dressing room until we're the last ones in the building #and im sitting here in my bedroom thinking just how little time i have left before everything ive known for four years is over #i watch the furia vlog and see myself in fallen #in the person getting onto stage teary-eyed and taking a not-yet-final bow. in the mentor leaving after so little time #i watch a bit longer and see much more of myself in molodoy #the kid who now has a date set somewhere on the horizon for when his world falls apart #fallen called him his son. molodoy calls him his second father. and now he has 247 days until all of that goes away.#and i know more than anything that he has that countdown in the back of his mind each and every moment #two summers ago in late july i forced myself to stop looking at the calendar because the grief would take me out at the knees #but there were still the cans on the counter. still the space they left as they dwindled down #how many more tournaments do they have together? how many more games?#i dont know the answer. but id bet that one of them does.#anticipatory grief is fucking brutal i wouldn't wish it on anyone #247 days.#winter.yap #cs posting #they really dont call me winter haunted corner for nothing

if i made a doc of like. authors notes and breakdowns of my webweaves would anyone read it

would you

yes

Voting ended onDec 23, 2025

#winter.yap

someone should make an "i did my mcsr census" sticker/badge so we can post it like everyone posts pictures of their i voted stickers in election season

#idk if i voted stickers are as prolific outside of the us but either way theyre fun and awesome and we ahould have them #for joy and whimsy :)#mcsr #winter.yap

babe whats wrong i saw you reblogged "would you want him to move on?" "never." fifty something times again

#winter.yap

youre telling me that one of the first people to put competitive beat saber on the map in the early days who basically built his entire internet presence from that community has now played on a fucking minecraft smp that one of my mutuals, who i presume has never interacted with competitive beat saber at all, came across and is now liveblogging. what the actual fuck is going on

#worlds colliding in ways i didnt even know they could right now this is wild #woops the beat saber guy is now woops the variety streamer who plays on a niche minecraft server guy???? what the hell #crazy times. crazy things happening.#winter.yap

they have each others flowers they have each others fuckign flowers i can't do this shit anymore

#purple and red for stormz black for dumb they have each others flowers.....#and the composition of the background putting dumb on the side with life and stormz on the side that's cold and barren #but there's still that connection between them. there's still that part of them in each other's lives despite the divide #can anyone hear me.#ive been thinking about this shot for weeks #parallelisms #infuse smp #winter.yap

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