wispiril i hate u for not allowing others to read it and release me from my singular suffering
maybe part of it just has to do with the fact that you are also author
talking about something online, even deeply, does not even come close to the amount of vulnerability of writing about something from a character perspective in a book
besides you there are four other people who I think I wouldn't have an issue sharing it with, except, one of them has her own shit going on and I'm not putting this on her, with one of them – even though we've been friends for a long time – deep emotional conversations aren't exactly our strong suit and I don't think she would approach this with an attitude that I'm comfortable with, and the other two were not only friends with me at the time they were actively caught in the middle of this and I have no intention of re-traumatizing everybody… They already put up with it from an outsider’s perspective, they don't need to know about it from an insider's perspective as well
although the situations in the book are much more extreme than what I went through, the emotions that the characters feel are not that much more extreme than what I felt, so it's awkward for me to give it to somebody who doesn't know me and it's also awkward for me to give it to somebody does know me
like I said, once I finish it you can perhaps share it with a few people you think might appreciate it, but I'm not going to personally share it with anybody else