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headcannon that Witchers are obligate carnivores and it means they can't just drink normal tea they have to brew that shit with bones in it or something or else it upsets their sensitive tummies.

like whenever Jaskier is brewing tea in camp and turns away for a second Geralt tosses in little bones he won't notice until its time to drink up and little pieces of white bone just plink into his cup. trying to get answers out of Geralt for something like this is a fool's errand so Jaskier just has to figure out why this is happening over time.

made all the more frustrating by Geralt getting miffed about Jaskier not eating the little bones and calling him wasteful and taking them for himself to eat. "the crunchy bits are the best part of tea."

but Geralt will not just call it soup. will not just ask for bone broth with herbs in it. it's "tea" and special "Witcher tea" when Jaskier won't let it go. and people think Jaskier is the dumb and pretty one of their pair.

but the other Witchers all do it to some degree, and if Jaskier wants a hot drink experience that doesn't taste wildy off and like shit he has to start just making broth or soups. crushed rosemary and garlic and a hefty helping of salt along with a big marrowy bone at least.

if he wants his own tea he has to brew it after Geralt is asleep or meditating or off on a hunt becaus he ALWAYS sneaks little bones or chunks of meat into it even when its only for Jaskier. he complains enough about it that Geralt buys a little tea pot Just For Jaskier that he promises not to mess with (but still does because surely the bard will die without animal fat and protein in every cup. Jaskier has to burst into tears for Geralt to stop in truth).

Geralt is delighted that tea is good now--he had no idea humans knew how to make a good Witcher tea! ah the bard has been holding out on him the strange little herbivore. glad he finally saw sense.

now if Jaskier would believe Geralt when he says he can't taste sweet things and stop trying to feed him pastry and wasting their hard earned coin on things that aren't even real. like sugar.

Ciri gets bit by a tick when she's on the run from Nilfgaard the first time and becomes deathly allergic to meat and it is SO upsetting to the Witchers. why even live.

#the witcher #jaskier #geralt #ciri #witcher headcanons

- 📖 Geralt of Rivia Listening to You Read 🕯️ -

He doesn’t ask you to read; he just places himself near enough that he can hear. The first few times you notice, he’s mending a strap or oiling blades, saying nothing, but the rhythm of your voice slows his hands until they stop altogether. His hearing catches every nuance. When you stumble on a word, he quietly supplies it without looking up. When the story makes you smile, his mouth twitches like an echo.

He prefers prose that smells of real earth - travellers’ journals, folktales, ballads. Flowery poetry makes him frown until you start laughing; then he admits he likes how it sounds when you say it.

On rainy evenings he’ll sit cross-legged by the hearth, head resting back against the wall, eyes closed. The firelight turns his scars amber. He isn’t asleep; he’s memorising the cadence so that when he rides alone he can replay it in his mind.

Sometimes you catch him finishing a line under his breath, the low gravel of his voice slipping into yours as if the sentence belongs to both of you.

He always knows when you’re tired. Before you reach the end of a paragraph, he says softly, “Enough for tonight,” and takes the book from your hands, marking the page with a sprig of whatever herb is closest.

If the story darkens, he draws nearer - arm sliding behind your back, palm flat against the small of your spine - grounding you without interrupting.

He keeps one of your worn books in his saddlebag. On long contracts he reads it slowly, lips barely moving, more to hear your memory than the words themselves.

When you read something that moves him, he doesn’t analyse it. He just murmurs, “Read that one again.” It’s as much praise as he ever gives.

And when the last line fades into silence, he lets it linger. He doesn’t thank you. He only breathes out and says, “World’s quieter now. That’ll do.”

Bonus (because I am completely and utterly taken with D. H. Lawrence´s writing):

Reading The Rainbow - You are reading aloud near the fire, voice low and deliberate, the storm outside echoing the rhythm of the prose. At first he’s sharpening a whetstone, pretending not to listen. But after a few lines about the Brangwens’ hunger for life “under the arch of the rainbow,” he stops. The blade rests across his knee. When you read Lawrence’s descriptions of earth and body -“The world of men was to be a world of flowering, and he was to be of it” - he tilts his head slightly, eyes narrowed, as if comparing it to what he’s seen on the Path. He doesn’t interrupt, but his silence becomes an answer in itself. He’d react to the sensual honesty more than the philosophy. Not scandalized, just thoughtful. “He writes like the land itself’s breathing,” he’d murmur. “And what do you think of it?” you’d ask. “That he’s right about the ache. People want more than they can name. Doesn’t change that the world still needs ploughing in the morning.” When the text turns to spiritual yearning, he would glance at you, not the page. He’d hear the same hunger in your voice that Lawrence describes - a desire for union that’s both sacred and fleshly. He wouldn’t need to say so; the look in your eyes would answer. After you finish, he might stay quiet a long time, staring into the fire. Then, in his dry way: “Too many words for what most folk just feel. But he’s right - it’s a hard thing, learning to live between the blood and the stars.” Later that night, he’d ask you to read another passage - not because he craves literature, but because he likes the way your voice carries truth without fear. The book becomes a kind of ritual between you: you reading the sacred ache of human longing, he grounding it in lived tenderness.

#geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt x you #geralt of rivia headcanons #witcher headcanons #the witcher #the witcher 1 #the witcher 2 #the witcher 3 #the witcher books #literature #fandom #writing #reading #romance #d. h. lawrence

Be Still, Be Soft (Male!Reader x Geralt of Rivia)

@jayfeather965 Follow up on touch starved Geralt. Setting: deep winter at Kaer Morhen. Geralt is sitting in his bf’s lap. With bf’s legs around his torso so that Geralt can rest his head on his bf’s chest. And bf starts to give Geralt a neck rub. (I’m completely sure that Geralt doesn’t know what a neck rub is)

Not many people realize just how studious Geralt is.

Though perhaps this is less due to preconception, and more due to simply never getting to see him with a book in hand.

But the man is not only educated, but tends to enjoy learning information. He's a reader when he can get his hands on a book.

Currently he's studying up on Vesemir's most current edition of the bestiary he's been working on.

#witcher x male reader #geralt x male reader #geralt x reader #witcher headcanons #headcanons

I love it when Jaskier is able to save Geralt, whether that be by sheer dumb luck and some guts or by immense skill like with people. Just anytime they both save the other is such a good time in my opinion.

How do you feel about it? Are you a Jaskier is the only damsel in distress or do you like them to switch off being the damsel in distress?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

Oh gods, I LOVE competent/feral Jaskier, you have no idea.

I just think that there's so much potential for hilarious moments to ensue whenever someone makes Jaskier a little more dangerous than you expect him to be.

I think it's much more realistic to have Jaskier actually be able to defend himself from danger, seeing as he does travel across the continent on his own sometimes. Add in the experience he gets over the years from traveling with Geralt and you have a Bard that actually knows how to fight.

I take a lot of joy picturing Geralts disgruntled but reluctanty flustered face whenever Jaskier comes to his rescue or the small pleased smile he can't fight down whenever he sees Jaskier give back as good as he gets in a fight, surprising everyone around him because they assumed the Bard dressed in fancy clothing to be all talk with no real skill and Jaskier just flattened them.

Jaskier's face whenever he notices Geralts reaction is all smug and pleased, he can't help making some quips about it or sauntering up to Geralt, teasingly asking him if he liked the show, feeling even more pleased when Geralts face turns red in a deep blush that surprises both of them.

Like imagine them looking like this:

What if witchers looked similer?

What if when witchers said they were brothers they meant it in blood?

So the mages lost the original witcher recipe and decided to use already successful witchers blood as a stabiliser. The witcher mutagen already changes there body on a fundamental level, eyes, metabolism, aging everything. So it’s not to far a leap to think it would change there appearance over time.

So, witcher bloodlines.

It can either be that the finder of the kid gives there blood, or one witcher for a batch of kids, or one ancient witcher who was the most successful who’s blood was used thousands of years after there death. But the witchers all look similar, like how children look like there parents, cousins look similar, how you can track a certain nose shape through the generations, but in witchers.

Different schools have different bloodlines but can still track where they split off from the original line. The original witchers stopping or giving all schools there blood so one doesn’t believe there the ‘original’ or better than the others.

This could lead to where someone in a group is believed to die so no-one gives blood. Or one witcher gives blood to them too show that they believe in the kid.

Eskel and Geralt being close because they were brought up together, but also because they carry the same shade of yellow eyes and seasonal allergies the same as their alchemy mentor.

Vesemir who stares at his face and tracks what is the same as his dead brothers to not forget what they looked like.

Lambert who cannot stand to see his reflection, only seeing his tormentors staring back.

Coën, who covers parts of his face and pretends that he can still talk to another Griffen.

Just. Witcher bloodlines being more literal.

#the witcher #witcher #witcher headcanons #lambert #eskel #coen #geralt #vesemir #headcanons #geralt of rivia #tragity of the witchers #witcher trauma #i shook a witcher and intergenerational trauma fell out

I just want to hear your top 3 head cannons about your current favorite ship

Oof anon that is HARD. Because I have se fave ships tbh....hm. I guess my current is a bit difficult since I'm in the Witcher fandom and while I am a hard Geraskier shipper - I also have a huge soft spot for Kaer morons plus their cat witcher and bard polyship.

BUT.... I'm also on a DC comics DamiColin kick (again) and sadly there is not enough of it in this world and i'm too lazy to write full fics..... But for the sake of not writing a full on essay, i'll stick to one fandom for this ask!

WITCHER:

When Geralt claimed the Law of Surprise, he didn't just tie HIS fate to Ciri but Jaskier's by proxy as well. As they were together at the banquet during the event, and both interfered on Pavetta's behalf; Destiny found it both amusing and fair to trade two parents (Duny and Pavetta) for two equal- even if it meant that Ciri would end up with two fathers to balance her lessons out in all things later on. Destiny -of course- hadn't taken Geralt's ill-advised wish into account... but a sorceress for a godmother wasn't so bad. Of course; it would take Jaskier and Geralt a while to figure out the paternal affection (Jaskier) and pulls that would hint that BOTH of them were Ciri's parents...which made co-parenting while being newly romantically involved *much* easier.

Jaskier (plus any of his Witchers): If there's one thing he likes, it's to sit in his witcher's lap. If he can get away with it, he'll do it. Jaskier does it for multiple reasons; he's cold, horny, flirty, drunk... but if they're utterly alone and he does it without uttering a word...it's usually a silent way to seek comfort. He doesn't always allow himself that sort of child-like vulnerability. As a younger minor noble, he wasn't afforded much affection by his family, so now he seeks to give and receive it as much as he can with his dear heart.

Jaskier can cook. He's not an expert, and he hates skinning kills (he leaves that to Geralt if he can) but contrary to belief, he can cook and well despite his noble lieage. Once at Oxenfurt and hellbent on his goal of being a renowned bard, Jaskier took the time to seek cooking advice from Priscilla; as well as seeking out and plying his trade at taverns in exchange for hands on training in the kitchen. Once he set out on the road, he knew which foods would keep, what he could forage for easily (herbs are still not his strong suit, some leaves look the same) and how to make his coin stretch. It was a point of pride that he could surprise Geralt in their travels by actually making meals that weren't bland and just 'quick and tasteless'. Eventually, Geralt ends up doing most of the hunting, and Jaskier would cook while both divide food prep. For all his complaints and drama, Jaskier is competent when he sets his mind to wanting to learn something badly enough.

#the witcher #jaskier #geraskier #geralt of rivia #epic asks #witcher headcanons

I’ve briefly mentioned my transgender!cahir headcanons before but I’ve been debating talking about them more in depth for a while. Everyone thank @forwheat-is-wheat for motivating me by showing interest LMAO

so, the canon inspiration behind this headcanon is Cahir’s middle name, Mawr, which is his mother’s first name, and the fact that, unlike his brothers and father, Cahir was not enslaved or killed by the usurper, but “considered too weak for concern”

The fact that Cahir is the only supposed male in his household to face this fate seems interesting to me, as regardless of the fact that he is presumably the youngest, surely you’d still be worried about what he could grow up into? Perhaps you’d want to stop him before he could stop you, especially knowing he would definitely have motivations since you ruined his family

If you had a reason to believe he’d never be strong enough for that (such as sexism) then it would be more believable.

So! Trans Cahir.

Cahir’s story about not being a diplomat like his father wanted him to be doesn’t make sense to me because the ability to be polite and well-spoken can be taught. So, what if it’s a cover-up, a more socially acceptable version of the story, while the truth is that he wasn’t treated the same as his brothers because he wasn’t a boy.

Maybe after al the men were enslaved, Cahir did have to step up and take a role of protector in order to protect his mother and sisters (who I think he did have in the books though their existence in the show isn’t confirmed) and himself from NOT starving and dying, and if he hadn’t already realised he didn’t feel like a girl, it could’ve been at this point, while he’s ‘pretending’ to be a man to take jobs and such, that he realises… he actually is one.

And eventually, Emhyr came along. Cahir says that what Emhyr said to him was “the Usurper was a fool to let you go, son. You are the strongest of them all.”

(It’s also interesting to me that this recognition of his strength seems to be more important to Cahir than like, Emhyr not being the man who enslaved his family. I could write an entire essay on their relationship. I might.)

Son. Gender recognition as a manipulation tactic? Woah!

Now okay look — adult Cahir has a beard in s2. Don’t worry, I have a solution for that also.

Magic!

What if, since Emhyr also rescued Fringilla and she was also loyal to him, Emhyr asked Fringilla to perform the same/a similar ritual that Yennefer went through in order to make Cahir have masculine physical characteristics? What if this was the start of their friendship?

And of course you’d have so much loyalty for the man who literally affirmed your whole gender. Who gave you the chance to truly live as who you were. Enough to work your way up to essentially being that man’s right-hand, his most trusted general, and not even trying to escape when you’ve lost everything — not trying to escape until he makes you kill one of the other people who accepted you (Gallatin) and lied about the other being dead too (Fringilla)

Basically? Cahir is one of my favourite characters.

#cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach #emhyr var emreis #fringilla vigo #the witcher #the witcher netflix #twn #Cahir headcanons #Witcher headcanons #transgender Cahir

The Lodge of Sorceresses as the Dames of the Round Table.

#the witcher #the witcher books #the lodge #witcher headcanons #Ciri as the Galahad who never took the Seat Perilous #the witcher meta #arthuriana #this deserves writing out

#witcher headcanons

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