hi! could you explain me how you read the “probably an addict in need of a fix” and specially the response of john? thanks!
Hi! This got a bit longer than I was expecting.
John decided to propose to Mary when he thought Sherlock was dead (as we all know he would’ve never even dated Mary had Sherlock not faked his death). After Sherlock returns John is hurt and can’t quite trust Sherlock. He still decides that he’s going to propose to Mary because even after he forgives Sherlock he still thinks he will only ever get to be Sherlock’s friend and nothing more. And he will take it, he will take whatever Sherlock gives him, because that’s better than being without him (like he was for the past 2 years). So now, it’s the stag night and Sherlock has been helping John with the planning, he’s been showing more emotions when taking cases and he’s acting weird around John like maybe he’s panicking. John decides to take his final night before he is married and try to see if he has any chance with Sherlock. He was ready to cheat on Mary that night if it came to it. So we get the knee grope, the “yeah, but am I a pretty lady?” Sherlock doesn’t get it though, “you’re really not getting the hang of this game, are you, Sherlock?” and then they are interrupted. John marries thinking he has no chance with Sherlock.
During the best man speech Sherlock declares his love in front of everyone and they both realize they might have misjudged what the other knows. They don’t act on it because they find out Mary is pregnant.
Post-wedding they both feel the other doesn’t reach out. Sherlock is suffering because John married someone else and hasn’t contacted him since, so he starts using again. John is miserable being married to Mary and not having seen Sherlock in “ages”. So he jumps at the opportunity for a bit of adrenaline.
After, Sherlock can see right through that. He knows John, he can see him, he sees he’s miserable, how he misses adventure and how maybe he misses him. “Just an addict in need of a fix.” So he brings him back into his life, into his cases, no matter how much it costs him to see John with someone else. But he also misses him too much, so he will take whatever he can. He isn’t above being a little petty, though, so he tries to make John jealous with the whole Janine thing. John did decide to marry someone else after all.
John isn’t used to people noticing him. He got used to (and loved) it when he was with Sherlock but then he lost that again. But now Sherlock is back in his life and right away, with just one look he can deduce how John feels. John feels seen, he had missed this, he missed Sherlock, but he is also so afraid. He feels hurt that its been so long since the wedding and Sherlock hasn’t talked to him. He is being reminded of how much Sherlock can see, how much Sherlock can change his life just by being there, how much Sherlock means to him. He fears it. He fears his love for Sherlock, he fears it’s unrequited. Mostly, he fears that Sherlock can see everything about him, how pathetically in love with him he has been all these years, how much he means to John, and that he would still let John marry another person, he would still not contact John for a month.
John was an addict in need of a fix. He said it himself. “I was hooked. He’s like a drug.”
