The Twelve Days of Pledge
I used to work at a PBS station in college, which was fucking great except for pledge. It should come as no surprise that nobody behind the scenes actually likes pledge or some of the more tedious specials, but we’d grin and bear it and air it. So one year, probably my second winter pledge drive and the fifteen billionth viewing of Charlotte Church warbling the hits, I wrote this out and read it to the crew I was working with that evening and they loved it.
I’ve since managed to lose it and find it and forget it and remember it enough that now that I’ve found it again, I’m posting it once again. A lot of it’s horribly dated (isn’t Michael Flatley retiring soon), some of it is a little “inside baseball” but the rest? Here’s to WKAR-TV, East Lansing, MI.
On the first day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: My favorite show cancelled for two weeks. On the second day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Two tacky tote bags. On the third day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Three tenors singing. On the fourth day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Four hours of Yanni. On the fifth day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Five shows for middle-aged men! On the sixth day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Six pricey CDs. On the seventh day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Seven hosts a-yakking. On the eighth day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Eight Lords of the Dancing. On the ninth day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Nine missed cues. On the tenth day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Ten cheesy T-shirts. On the eleventh day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Eleven encore broadcasts. On the twelfth day of pledge drive, my true love gave to me: Twelve months of schedules.