they keep forcing me to do things im really uncomfortable with and get seriously anxious about, even if i just cried my heart out this monday they still dont understand, and i keep telling them i dont want to get another panic attack or that i dont feel comfortable doing it, and they keep screaming at me for not doing it or "for being lazy" and it hurts me so much.
they told me last night theyre doing this to help me but really theyre just driving me towards suicide more and more now and i hate it.
i hate it that i cannot commit suicide just because of my parents because i love my friends too much, theyre literally the only things holding me back together right now, and i just cant let that go. i love you all so much.
what i hate the most though is that my parents say theyre trying to help me, blah blah blah, but really theyre driving me towards suicide and theyre not helping at all and... i just want to move out really badly..
thanks to dave, guns, rachel, and various other anons and people for being such sweethearts lately, and cheering me up, even if im going through all this shit now!!!
i couldnt do this without all you guys. and that means all of you.