Picture This // Everglow
“Oh, the light that you left me will everglow.”
*timeline idea-ish: The beginning of summer 2015, during the OTRA Tour*
Picture this: breaking up.
It’s hard being in a relationship. Just in general, really... Every relationship is different and has its own challenges, and you know that your’s and Harry’s is no exception to this fact.
The love you have for each other is indescribable; you’re each other's soulmates. But things have been tough on you lately, and you’ve been thinking about everything; deciding that being on your own for a little bit could be beneficial. So when you decide that you need that time apart, Harry is completely and utterly destroyed by it.
“H, I’m sorry,” you tell him as the tears stream slowly down your face. “I love you so much, but I need to figure some things out.”
“What is there to figure out?” He pleads desperately; trying to make sense of the words leaving your mouth. “If there is anything, why can’t we figure it out together?”
“Harry, it’s really not that simple,” you try to reason as you set down the bag of things you've packed; and look to his tear-filled eyes.
“Than please explain, Y/N,” his voice cracks as he lowers his voice into a whisper. He gently takes your hand and leads you to the bed, where he sits and looks up at you despairingly. “Did I do something?”
“No, that’s not it at all,” you explain, and he moves his gaze from you. You place your hands on each of his cheeks tenderly and guide his face, so his eyes meet yours again. “Harry, this is not your fault.”
“If it’s not, then why are you leaving?” He questions, and you can feel your heartbreaking. He doesn’t deserve this, but it’s something you have to do.
You take a shaky breath and shut your eyes; allowing more tears to flow out of them. “I feel like I’ve lost myself,” you start, and slowly look back to him. “This girl standing here, she isn’t me. She’s a shell of who I once was, and I hate that so much. I’ve changed, Harry... Y/F/N called me the other day, and the first thing she asked was what country I was in. She had just assumed that I was off somewhere with you, which is completely valid for her to think. For the past two and a half years... That’s what my life has been. When we started dating, I put my life on hold so I could join you as you pursue your dream and career because you were already doing that before you met me; and I don’t regret a single moment of it. Seeing you succeed makes me so so happy. However, I’ve made some sacrifices. I took a semester off school to travel with you, which pushed my graduation back; and also delayed me finding a job.”
“You don’t need to work, Y/N,” he interjects, and you shake your head. “I can take care of both of us. You don’t have to be worried about that.”
“That’s the thing though H, I want to work,” you explain, and remove one of your hands from his face to push your hair back; allowing your other hand to slide down, and rest on his shoulder. “I have a dream too, and hopefully me finishing university will get me a step closer to achieving that. I want to make a name for myself, if I go out and make an impact on the world, even in the slightest way; I want it to be because I did it on my own, not because my incredible boyfriend paved the way for me.”
“So, what are you saying?” He asks hesitantly.
“I’m saying that I need time,” you tell him. “I need time to figure out what I’m going to do, and how I’m going to do it; because I’ve been in a rough place lately. It’s harder when you’re away because you are my home, Harry, and I can’t let my problems get in the way of you. The world deserves Harry Styles, and you deserve the world, and so much more, my love. I want to be worthy of sharing that with you, and right now... I don’t feel that I am. So I’m going to stay with Y/F/N for a bit, and you’re going to continue doing what you’re doing. You’re going to finish this tour with One Direction. Niall, Louis, Liam, the fans... They all need you out there, and they don’t need me holding you back. All of North America is waiting for you, and then Europe.”
“What about you?” He begins. “You don’t need me?”
“I’ll always need you, you’re the love of my life,” you confirm with a sad smile. “But I also need to do this. I really hope that it won’t take long for me to figure whatever this is eating away at my mind; because I really don’t even know what that is, but I feel that I need to take the right steps in fixing it; and this is one of those steps.”
“So this is it then. You’re breaking up with me,” Harry says quietly, and looks away; as if trying to process everything you’ve said. “No, Y/N, there’s got to be another way.”
“There isn’t Harry,” you try to reason with him, but are unsuccessful.
“There is!” His voice booms as he stands up off the bed. “You claim that you love me, and I can’t even put into words how much I love you, but you want to break up? I understand that you need space, that’s fine. I can leave for a tour, and you can do whatever it is you need to do. I’ll wait for you, Y/N... You’re it for me.”
“I could never ask you to do that,” you reply and shake your head again. “I want you to go out and live your life on this tour the way you want to, not worrying about me. In the future, when we cross paths again, which hopefully is much sooner than later; I’ll ideally be in a better place. I’ll hopefully be someone you can be proud to call your girlfriend, but I can’t blame you if you move on during our time apart.”
“I won’t move on,” he claims and grabs your hand. “I know you don’t want to break up, m’sorry if I’ve made you feel like that would be an easy solution, but it isn’t. I can’t accept what this is as a break up when you don’t mean it as one.”
“Than think of it as just... a break,” you propose. “Like Ross and Rachel. They ended up together, who says we won’t?”
“I hate that you brought Friends into this,” he grumbles and pouts as he looks away again. “That’s a positive thing, this is not.”
“Sorry,” you tell him honestly and wipe away another stray tear that has escaped. “... I-I’m going to go now, H. I won’t see you before you leave for North America, but know I’ll be cheering for you.” You pick your bag up off the ground, and take a step towards him; standing on your tip-toes to place a kiss against his cheek. “Goodbye, Harry.”
He doesn’t say anything, so you make your move to leave. You’re almost out in the hallway when he speaks up again. “Don’t say goodbye, Y/N. This isn’t goodbye. This isn’t the end for us, I know it.”
“I hope you’re right,” you state with a sad smile and think of what the two of you usually say to each other instead of goodbye. “I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon,” he replies, and you finally make your way down the hallway. You walk through the kitchen and open the front door; stopping when you hear his faint voice speak up once again. “I love you.”
The tears prick your eyes again, and you quickly go out the door; shutting it behind you, and leaning against it. “And I love you,” you whisper to yourself, and close your eyes. You stand there for a moment as the tears pour, and try to calm yourself down. “Always.” With one final glance at the door, you leave and don’t look back.
Harry is left a complete and total mess. He stands frozen for a few moments before falling back down onto the bed, completely destroyed. Everything around him is a constant reminder of you, and it hits him even harder because he’s still confused by what brought this on.
He’s frustrated. Upset that you left, but even more mad at himself for letting you go. He runs his hands through his hair aggravatedly, and debates on running after you; but knows you’d be long gone. Out of frustration, he grabs one of the pillows behind him and chucks it towards one of the bedside tables; jumping when he hears a shatter.
His eyes widen, and his heart quickens as he bolts to the source of the noise. He kicks the pillow aside and sees a picture frame faced down, tiny pieces of glass skewed around it. “Shit,” he mutters as he bends down to pick up the frame; knowing what he will see when he flips it over.
On the other side of the broken frame is one of his favourite pictures ever to be taken. It’s of the two of you from around Christmastime last year when he took you to one of his family’s events. Gemma was trying to take a picture of you, but you were extremely camera shy; so Harry snuck up behind you and wrapped his arms over your shoulders, placing a kiss on the top of your head. You turned around in his arms instantly, catching him off guard, and causing him to start losing his balance. The two of you almost toppled to the ground but managed to balance each other out. Gemma managed to capture the moment all on camera and had given the picture of you each holding each other's arms, laughing; as a gift.
He stares at the broken picture and feels even worse. All the memories and good times over the past two and a half years flood his mind, as he slides down the side of his bed to the ground; wondering where it went wrong.
You never seemed unhappy, and if you were, you would talk to him about it. What changed? It’s all so confusing to him, but then he thinks a bit harder. Over the past couple of months, there were times where you did try to talk to him, but he brushed you off. It was completely unintentional, but with him being on tour and dealing with Zayn leaving the band; things got hectic. He always looked to you for balance and support, but now that he thinks about it; he wasn’t doing the same for you... and that wasn’t fair.
He lets out a shaky breath as tears being pooling his eyes again. You said this wasn’t his fault, and you honestly believed it wasn’t, but now this is the only thought going through his mind as he pulls his cell phone to dial the first person that comes to mind that could talk to him about such a situation.
After a couple of rings, the other end picks up and a familiar voice speaks. “Hello,” it says warmly.
“Mum?” Harry’s voice cracks as a sob escapes. “I need your help. I-I think I’ve just lost the greatest thing in my life, and I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh sweetie,” Anne’s calming voice soothes over the device. “Take a couple breaths, ok? And tell me what’s going on, Gem is here too.”
“Y/N left me,” he states and can hear the gasps of both women from the other end. “She left me, and it’s entirely my fault.”
