Lucky / Part 10
I’m back! Sorry this is short, but I’m easing back into it!
You woke up extremely early, the result of an earlier bedtime and a good rest. You started to move, your hips protesting as they began throbbing mildly. Climbing out of Sehun’s large bed you picked one of his sweaters up off the floor, pulling it over your head. You looked over your shoulder at Sehun, who was still sleeping soundly before stepping into the washroom.
The more you moved the more sore you realized you were. But it wasn’t painful. It was the kind of feeling you get the day after you have a really good workout, which, is sort of what happened.
You brushed your teeth and washed your face, moving around the washroom with a bit of a spring in your step. There was something inherently different about this day. Maybe it was reconnecting with Sehun last night, maybe it was him marking you again that made you feel more secure and almost back to normal. Almost.
It clearly wasn’t having the same effect on Sehun.
Sitting in the living room, you chatted away with Kyungsoo’s mate, who was up getting ready to go to work and waiting impatiently for Kyungsoo to be done upstairs.
Without fail you could hear someone running up stairs, banging their way down to the first floor.
“I’m in here.” You called. Kyungsoo’s mate got up, excusing herself to go to the kitchen.
“You should have woken me up.” Sehun stated, storming into the room.
“I wanted you to sleep.” You smiled at him in understanding.
“I don’t need to sleep.” He snapped, “I need you with me.”
He was kneeling in front of you now, pulling you onto his lap on the floor. Sehun held your head against his chest sighing deeply.
“Just give me some time okay?” He pressed his lips to the crown of your head, “I promise, someday you will be able to leave my sight…but for now, I’m going to come running. Every single time I can’t see you.”
You relaxed into him. It was easy to forget, because you were the one trapped, that Sehun was on the other side dealing with it. You could feel it all the time, the blame he placed on himself. The questions that constantly ran through his head.
“I’m sorry.” You muttered. “I’m really sorry.”
His breath hitched and his chest quaked as he began to cry.
“I’ll listen to you now. I’ll never disobey you again.” Hearing him cry was making you cry. You could barely get the words out. “I’ll stay right next to to you forever. No matter what.”
Your shoulder tingled, where Sehun had bitten you the previous night and you circled it.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, my shoulder just feels weird.” You rubbed it over the sweater. “It’s almost like my arm is falling asleep.”
Sehun stood up with you still in his arms, setting you down on the couch. He pulled the sweater off your shoulder his brows furrowing as he looked at the scar.
“What is it?”
“The scar…it’s different…” He breathing sped up, “Are you wearing a shirt under this?”
You shook your head no. You felt nauseous. Had you made a mistake asking him to mark you again? You were dreading seeing what the scar looked like. He held your hand, pulling you back up to him room, not waisting any time pulling the sweater off of you.
“Sehun-” You started to look towards your arm but Sehun held your face still, looking up at him.
“Don’t freak out okay?” He was talking quietly, his eyes glancing between your eyes and your arm.
“You’re scaring me.” A shiver ran through you and your arm tingled again.
“Just…”He walked you to the bed, “Just sit here and close your eyes okay? I’m going to get you a t-shirt.” You wanted to look so badly, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look down.
“Lift your arms babe.” You did and you felt the cotton being pulled over your head and you adjusted it around you. “Now, it’s a bit surprising okay? But don’t be scared. We’re going to figure out whats going on.”
Your hands were resting on your knees. Opening your eyes slowly you started at your hand, working your way up your arm. Everything was fine until you got to your elbow. You noticed a several silver lines running up your arm.
You couldn’t breathe. It felt like your lungs were starting to collapse in your chest. Your chin quivered and you bit your lip to stop the sob from escaping you. You got up suddenly, stomping into the bathroom. The more you looked the more scars you saw. They wrapped all the way around your upper arm and down your right shoulder blade. A few strands of scars even trailed down your chest.
“It looks like lightening.” Sehun muttered, reaching out to touch the scars on your back. You stepped out of his reach.
“Don’t touch it.” You snapped. “Don’t look at them.” You pulled the shirt back over your arm and scrambled to put the sweater on again. Getting in bed, you pulled the covers over your body.
Sehun sat on the edge of the bed, leaning on his elbow.
“_____.”
You turned over.
“I just want some time by myself.” You whispered, tightening the blankets around you.
“Okay…” His voice was almost inaudible. He ran his fingers through your hair once before he stood up, taking a book and sitting in the air chair by the window.
Your arm started to tingle again and you fought the urge to look at it, praying with all of your might that the scars weren’t spreading.
You were getting a headache from clenching your jaw, which was the only way you could keep yourself from crying. Sehun couldn’t hear you cry. You needed to be strong.
It felt like the minutes passed as hours. You turned over again and again restlessly, a never ending cycle of thoughts attacking you. You were sure to keep your eyes away from Sehun as you could feel him watching you intently from behind his book. The pressure was getting too much to handle. He wanted you to say something, literally anything to show him that you were okay.
You swung your legs over the side of the bed quickly, scurrying into the bathroom and locking the door behind you. Listening intently, you could hear Sehun padding across the floor and see the shadow his feet created under the door as he stood listening for you.
“I’m fine.” You blurted out huskily.
The footsteps retreated.
Unable to hold yourself back anymore you took off your shirt, looking at the scars that now trailed down the delicate veins in your arms. Looking at the white lightening pattern that was currently working its way down your back.
You heard the bedroom door close with a muffled thud, your cue to relax. You worried that there was never going to be an answer for this. Worried that you did something extremely wrong.
Worried that you were going to die.