#wondrous garbage

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scale mail, except it's just made out of layers and layers of pistachio shells

-10 to armor class verses squirrels

#wondrous-garbage lol

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Wondrous Items for Your Campaigns!

Designed by @garbage-boy-sass-man​!  

“The Sweet Blade! a slender elegant blade with bee and flower designs on it. on the blade hilt, you can open it and pour 1 whole cup of honey from it every 6 hours. a yummy treat for each adventure! maybe heals 1d4?”

I love natural designs in weapons, and can imagine this resembling a furled calla lily or honeysuckle vine, unfurling to bestow a sweet nectar.  The honey could definitely heal minor damage maybe two or three times a day.  If we make it a relic or more powerful item, perhaps when attuned to the wielder it could summon a swarm of honeybees for a few rounds?

Ring of Emotional Reception!  “a magic mood ring that accurately describes OTHERS emotional state when worn, but in a voice to match. angry mood, angry voice, sad mood, sad voice, etc ”

I like this idea for a magical ring.  Mostly because of the chaos it could bring to diplomatic and social interactions with NPCs and antagonists.  Imagine a small ring that looks like a satelite dish, picking up the innermost emotions of whomever you aim it at.

Cloak of Couture! “a fashion cloak. use as a bonus action, will always seem to be the most fashionable worn clothing at every event “

Perhaps when used against nobles or royalty this cloak grants you a bonus to Diplomacy or Intimidation?  It might not actually be the most fashionable in the culture, but perhaps it stands out as such a unique piece that people fear and respect you for wearing it?

“a brooch that tells where the nearest dog is and how much they want to be pet.”

Dear gods this is amazing; I just wish I had a good name for it  This could let dog-obsessed players and characters immerse themselves in the world a bit better.  Also, thinking as a scheming DM, it could be used to sense other “doggos” and if they want to be friends.  E.g. you sense some non-happy doggos coming up the hill, its a pack of hungry wolves.

If anyone has a name for this amazing item, comment or reply to this post!

More Wondrous Garbage below the cut!  We hope you enjoy these items and use them in your own campaigns!  

Want to submit your own ideas for D&D magic items?  Send in your own ideas with #wondrous-garbage!

Necklace of Positive Thoughts/Amulet of Affirmation! “when worn, will always say something positive to boost your morale. "you really are looking nice this morning" "you are wonderful just the way you are" "you will always be appreciated, at least by me!"

I can think of quite a few roleplayers’ characters who could use this confidence booster.  Shy or unsure characters could use this as a swift action once per hour to give them a bonus against fear effects, or as a morale bonus on a single action.

Ring of Life Affirmation! “always notes fun things that are better than death. "flowers in bloom, so pretty" "fresh baked bread, warm and soft" "soft tide noises, relaxing" "a cozy crackling fireplace to sit in front of" "the sound of pages"  “

There are a ton of dark things in certain areas of D&D.  Effects like cone of despair, characters witnessing deaths, grimdark campaign settings, etc.  People get attached to their characters’ mental states and don’t wish to see them self-destruct.  Whether from external forces or digesting the dark roleplay settings around them.  Some players and characters could definitely use this item to vocalize good things in their lives.  I really like this item for how it could give the D&D experience peace of mind.

“Pouch of Charity! a pouch that produces something minor to help someone else. some bread for someone who has no food, a gold coin to buy someone something, a small bottle of water, tissue, a small image of a cute cat to cheer someone up, etc. “

You have excellent ideas to help players invest themselves in good ways!  I love this idea, especially since it is designed to offer small charity that will mean something.  In my experience, characters and players sometimes feel at a loss to engage with sad and unhappy game interactions.  Since D&D is designed to fulfill desires, this wondrous item could offer people a chance to know exactly what to do to help.

Boots of Embarrassment/Minor Grace! “prevents the wearer from embarrassing themselves by tripping and falling awkwardly, slipping on ice, stumble on a stone, etc. “

These sound great as a starter magic item.  Unlike other D&D items that would do something like boost Dexterity or Reflex saving throws, I think that this could be an affordable item: once a day the wearer gets advantage or a bonus on a single Reflex saving throw due to difficult terrain (like ice or mountains).

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Submitted by @neededtomakeanewaccountfordnd:

 Hi! I had a question about magic items, I apologize if this has been answered somewhere or if it was not a type of question you're accepting, and for the run on sentence. I saw some ideas for faulty magic items coming from the 'probably___rpgideas' blogs, one for example being "A crossbow that when not in use becomes a large raven to fly around on its own. It has its own, very specific ideas as to when and where it is in use." 

How could i incorporate that into my campaign? If a player were to find it and attune to it, would they know that this crossbow turns into a raven of its own volition? Should the spell card state that its idea of 'not in use' is whatever it wants it to be? Or can I just leave the players in the dark until one of them goes to use the crossbow and it turns into a raven?

Hmm, I like the idea of faulty magic items.  The raven crossbow sounds interesting.

Now, this question I feel stems from the campaign creator’s decisions on magic item availability.  I could see faulty magic items being more prevalent in settings with wilder and more unpredictable magic, or as mass produced magic items that are churned out as fast as possible.  Either way, the characters you’re dealing with would probably have some knowledge of faulty magic items and unplanned sentience.  However, unless you have a specialist in magic item crafting or a scholar of magic present in the party, it doesn’t need to be apparent until it is needed for the story you’re building.

 If your characters have the skills to study and retain knowledge of such topics, then give them the opportunity to “remember” reading something about identifying faulty items.  Or let them conjecture what the item unintentionally does if you describe it as “having something ‘off’ or unusual”.  And if a character spends time attuning themselves to a specific magic item, perhaps they can “feel out” that the item is sentient or has a secret ability.

You as the writer/Dungeon Master have the choice to either give your characters access to information, or to catch them by surprise.  Think about what the characters need--do they need a bit of downtime and the surprise could be a pleasant distraction from their troubles?  Should the characters discover its powers at a moment where it is most needed?  Or should the item introduce itself and become a component of the characters’ plans from then on?

Thank you so much for the ask!  

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didn't have space to write anymore 3. a magic ring that gives a minor deception bonus, but greatly strengths the need to spread 'bad' rumors about others. "see her? i hear she actually collects cat fur and throw it at people who aren't looking" 4. a sword thats fairly decent, but is super passive aggressive "oh no, it's fine if you choose to use the dagger over me. not like i know you. helped you more. saved your life." 5 hat that screams happy things when worn "I LOVE THE SUNSHINE TODAY!"

Very fun!  I love passive aggressive weapons and screaming headgear!

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my friend and i came up with minor cursed items that are fun to have without being terrible. you can share this if you'd like! others might find them fun! 1.a magic key that will open any regular daily lock, but will always make the sound of a grown man imitating a crying baby. 'opens locked door' "WAAHHHH!" and a wand that always says terrible jokes when used. "doth thine even lift peasant? HA! THOUST HAVE BEEN PROPERLY SCORCHED TO THINE BONES!"

I really like these!  If anyone else has ideas for wacky and fun magic items, I’d love to reblog it with the “wondrous garbage” tag!

Thanks for sharing!