insecurities
navi/masterlist
pairing: wooyoung x (gn!) reader
genre: angst, fluff; requested!
word count: 2.3k
warnings: language; anger & insecurities
a/n: i got the request via dm so i can’t really copy it but i’ll try to summarise it!
wooyoung angst & fluff where he’s insecure and yells at the reader, who ends up getting scared with wooyoung having to comfort them when he realises what happened!
wooyoung had always been insecure when he’d seen you close with the others, but when his insecurities make their way to the surface in an explosion of shouting he has to realise that his feelings are not the only ones that matter
you hadn’t expected wooyoung to react like this, not when the situation was so innocent. you’d hurt your ankle while you tried to fetch something in the kitchen and seonghwa had happened to be there, so he carried you to the living room because you seemed to be in pain and he wanted to take a look at it. he didn’t get the chance to do that, though, because wooyoung was there to see seonghwa carry you princess-style and his insecurity didn’t leave room for him to ask what had happened or why his friend was doing it. instead of asking he grabbed your wrist as soon as seonghwa had set you down and pulled you to his room, not noticing how you were limping slightly behind him, not really noticing anything. he just wanted to talk to you and he wanted to make room for his insecurity, though it hadn’t been his intention to make things escalate the way they soon did.
he’d had the common sense to pull you into his room before he started yelling, at least, screaming at you not because he was angry but because he was insecure, because he was convinced you’d realised that seonghwa was a better fit, was taller and more handsome, had his life together, was all in all more perfect than wooyoung could ever be himself. these insecurities made their way out through shouting and something that to you looked like anger, through hands thrown into the air in desperation, through loud voices and sharp words. they made their way out through making you sink into yourself in fear because you’d never seen wooyoung like this and it scared you to see your boyfriend yell and not even give you the chance to explain yourself.
“woo…”, you tried several times, but he didn’t even seem to hear you. he didn’t seem to register that he was scaring you, that you were sitting on his bed horrified by how loud and angry he was being, that you couldn’t stand him screaming like this. he didn’t realise any of that until you lifted your hands to your ears and started singing loudly with your eyes closed to drown out the noise and the scary situation, like a little child.
if you’d been able to make out his words past your own singing you would’ve heard him say “really, y/n?”, and then you would’ve seen his expression change into one of worry, and it wouldn’t have taken you so by surprise when he put one of his hands on your arm gently. and maybe you wouldn’t have flinched the way you did now, but you probably would have done that anyway, because he’d honestly scared you.
but you did notice the sudden silence, except for your yell-singing, so you stopped, and when he didn’t continue his yelling then you took down your hands from your ears, and then you dared to open your eyes again, and you saw wooyoung staring at you like a hit puppy as he’d realised just how bad his behaviour had scared you.
“y/n…”, and this time it was him who was quiet and pleading, and now that you no longer had to fear whatever his reaction might be if you started crying while he was screaming at you the tears no longer saw any reason to refrain from falling down your cheeks, so you soon found yourself sobbing in fear and in part also pain from your ankle and from your heart.
“y/n, baby, i scared you?”, he asked, trying to figure out if he’d really had his head so far up his ass that he hadn’t realised that he’d terrified you.
you just nodded, unable to talk between your broken sobs, and he hated the situation and, in all honesty, also himself. he hadn’t even given anyone the chance to explain why seonghwa had been carrying you, and even if there was no good reason it was no reason to scream at you. there was never a good reason to scream at you, never, especially not when you looked at him like this now, eyes filled with tears and expression one he couldn’t interpret, but not one of happiness as it usually was when you were around him. he hated himself for having let his insecurities get the better of him like this when you’d obviously been trying to tell him what had happened, he hated that he hadn’t listened to you, not even because he didn’t trust you to tell him the truth but because he was already so far in his own anxieties in that moment that it wouldn’t have mattered, no matter what you’d said.
but now you were crying, and he wanted to hold you, but he was scared you’d flinch again. his heart wouldn’t be able to take that.
“baby, i want to hug you, please don’t be scared. i’d never hurt you, i promise”, his voice whiny and shaky from his own held-back tears, hoping you’d let him, and you did, opening up your arms for him to climb into your lap because right now neither of you cared about who was in whose lap, it was easier if he just came into your arms than if he came onto the bed too and then he’d pull you into his, and he didn’t want to have you sit on the floor with him where he’d been kneeling until now.
“i’m so sorry”, trying not to cry because he knew you’d try to comfort him when this was about you, but he couldn’t stop the tears from falling, though he tried to hide it from his voice, at least.
“i don’t want to hurt you, baby, i never want to hurt you and i never would. fuck, i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you”, holding your head to his chest tightly with his face buried in your soft hair, the hair he loved to run his hands through and the hair that looked about as sad as you now, falling without the usual volume as if all energy had been drained even from your hair.
“woo…”, unable to say much more because you were still crying, crying out his name and clinging to him even though he’d been the one to scare you in the first place - he always made you feel safe, no matter what, something he’d try to never take too lightly again. he was supposed to be your protector, not the one you wanted protection from.
“i’m here, baby, i’m here”, words murmured against your head, with his lips pressed to the crown of your hair, your face hidden from him but the sobs still escaping your mouth making it obvious that you were feeling far from alright.
“what do you need?”, he asked then, but you didn’t know. you needed to forget that he’d yelled at you, you needed to be held, you needed him close, but that was about as specific as your needs got.
“woo”, you said again, or maybe you said “you”, your voice muffled by his shirt that you were sobbing into, but it was the same thing, and he was there, he was there and he wouldn’t leave you by yourself, not now and not ever, not unless you wanted him to.
“i’m right here, i’m here, promise”, a warm hand rubbing your back comfortingly as he tried to think of what to do.
“do you want me to ask san if we can borrow his plushies? and have a big cuddle pile, would that help, baby?”, because you and san frequently competed in who had the bigger collection, but your collection was at your place right now so san’s would have to do if you wanted it to.
he couldn’t tell if you were nodding or shaking your head, but he assumed you were nodding, and he knew that even if you were shaking your head you were only doing so because you didn’t want to be a bother, so he snaked his way out of your embrace, making a “stay right here” motion at you as he told you he’d be right back, just a second, and before you could protest he was out the door, not caring about his sorry expression and the wet spot on his shirt.
the other boys wanted to ask what on earth had happened, but he just cut them off, demanding san’s attention and presenting his issue to him, asking for the biggest amount of plushies that he could give you in that moment. lucky for him san complied, and before anyone could say another word he was running back to the room he’d left you in, towards san’s bed, moving all his stuffed animals over to his own bed to build a perfect cuddle pile for you so you’d hopefully calm down.
“i’m sorry”, he said whenever he was close to you, moving the stuffed animals, “i’m sorry”, even though you’d stopped sobbing so violently by now, only shaking slightly with silent tears still running down your cheeks.
“i’m sorry” again, when the cuddle pile was done, sitting down next to you and pulling you into his chest carefully before he laid down with you in his arms, stroking your head with the hand that wasn’t clinging to you for dear life.
“i didn’t realise i was scaring you”, he continued, movements calm and coordinated though he wanted to cry and hold you so tight he might break your ribs if he wasn’t careful because he just could not be close enough to you right now.
“i really didn’t mean to make you scared”, he promised, “i was just… i saw seonghwa carry you that way and i got scared that you don’t want me anymore. but i shouldn’t have yelled. it’s not even that you don’t have the right to not want me anymore, i wouldn’t be angry if you don’t, especially not now that i… yeah, but i was just so scared. but it’s not an excuse and it’s never okay to yell at you like this and i’m so sorry.”
now his movements were becoming less rhythmical, more sloppy, more of a desperate attempt to calm both you and himself, an attempt to convince himself that you were still there.
“i just hurt my ankle”, you whispered against him as an explanation, and he was ready to slap himself across the pacific. he’d yelled at you because you’d gotten hurt. because seonghwa hadn’t wanted you to have to walk on a hurt ankle. and he’d dragged you with him without even noticing that you were in pain, he’d… fuck, he’d really messed up.
“baby, i’m sorry”, and now he was crying again, sobs making his voice shaky and his words disrupted, “i’m sorry, i probably hurt your foot even more, shit, baby.”
he was clinging to you as if his life depended on it, and now you were stroking his hair while both his arms were wrapped around your torso tightly.
“woo, don’t cry”, you pleaded quietly, but he couldn’t help it. he felt guilty and he’d always been one of intense emotions, and right now his intense emotions were intense crying.
“i’m sorry”, he sobbed at you, though his crying didn’t get less.
“woo, please”, because you couldn’t deal with his crying when you were still overwhelmed, and though it was incredibly hard he held his breath to stop himself from sobbing, again and again, until he’d calmed down, even when you looked at him all worried because not breathing wasn’t what you’d meant when you’d told him not to cry.
“not crying anymore”, he let you know once his goal was achieved, looking at your puffy face and about to cry again right there because you were in such a sorry state.
“tell me how to make it up to you”, and this time it was wooyoung pleading, looking at you with so much remorse and love on his face that you wanted to kiss his worries away. you were still upset, of course you were, but he was trying so hard to make it okay, and you weren’t angry at him, you were more… hurt by the entire situation. overwhelmed. feeling an unidentifiable emotion on the wide spectrum of being upset.
“i just want to cuddle.”
he would comply with that, of course, without hesitation. his arms were still wrapped around you tightly, and he pulled you even closer to his face, moved you up a little so that your face was now at the same level as his rather than on roughly neck level, and then he looked at you with a serious expression.
“if i’m ever too loud, or if i scare you, or if you need me to stop something, tell me. promise you’ll tell me. i don’t want something like today to ever happen again, i don’t want to ever scare you again. i don’t want you to ever doubt that no matter how upset i am your comfort comes first, always.”
“okay”, quiet and not very convincing, but he wouldn’t let you get away with this, not in this situation.
“promise you’ll try.”
“okay, promise.”
he knew you weren’t one to break promises, so this left him reassured. so now he could focus on peppering your face in kisses, on rubbing your back and arms and stroking your head, on making sure you felt loved and comfortable.
you fell asleep like that, and you looked so sweet that san couldn’t even get himself to steal even just one of his plushies back when he came into the room later, because wooyoung had looked at him with a pleading expression on his face that he interpreted as “don’t wake her up, she deserves these plushies more than you right now”.