#ateez crack

[teaxtease]

₊˚.༄ ATEEZ as exes

warnings: sfw, corny, cursing

note: requests are open! it feels nice to write an smau after so long

🔖: @seodwae @ateezwink @xoxiaojun @aaa-sia @my1003soda @minkieater

[yun-fangz]

ateez fake texts — hyung line

synopsis: u turning down sex cuz you have a bush

pairings: hyung line!ateez x fem!reader

warnings: suggestive humor, mentions of sex/boners, brief period mention (yunho), overall kinda comforting, these boys are freaks LOL

a/n: when i tell u i laughed typing out the synopsis LMFAO. #freethebush fr tho. maknae line coming in the next few days you already know

INBOX IS FULL/NOT TAKING REQUESTS AT THE MOMENT.

hongjoong:

seonghwa:

yunho:

yeosang:

© 2025 Yun-Fangz All Rights Reserved.

[halaziasweetheart]

Thinking about boyfriend!yunho who'd come home from a meeting exhausted and hair up in a ponytail without thinking much of it only for his girlfriend on the couch to freeze and go red.

And when he realises why, he lets out that menacing soft chuckle of his before placing a hand on the back of the couch to lean closer to her.

"You like it, darling?"

And she nods, sitting up straighter, admiring the way his face is framed by some of the strands that have fallen out of the ponytail.

"Y'know, they told me it's getting too long. That I should get it shortened before the next shoot," he starts, pouting playfully as she gently plays with his hair in awe.

"But I think we should see how...useful this new look is. What do you say, angel?"

At that, her gaze locks onto his again, breath hitching. When she does nothing but gulp, he smirks and leans closer teasingly. She expects to feel his mouth descend on hers so she moves her hands to his neck, playing with the end of the little ponytail.

"You're so pretty," she whispers, eyes softer. And he blushes a little, smiling bashfully, "Thank you, darling."

But right before their lips touch he pulls away with a dirty smirk.

"Oh, baby, not like that. I think we should just get to the most important part, y'know?"

He starts, getting on his knees,

And as he spreads her legs roughly before placing them over his shoulders, she gasps, hands falling to either side of her hips to grasp the cushions—only for him to growl and put her hands in his hair, around the ponytail, "Stay."

"Y-Yunho, you just got home, let's not-" "I don't care. Yes or no, angel?"

Her words die on her tongue as she processes his blunt words. And she nods. He smirks up at her a little, forgetting all his exhaustion at the way she's so caught off-guard. And he presses the first peck to her inner thigh, whispering:

"Just sit pretty and pull, angel."

[liliesformingi]

"busy woman" - an ot8 ateez smau by @liliesformingi | reactions to texting ateez 'she's busy rn'

"yeah, i'm a busy woman, i wouldn't let you come into my calendar any night. but if you want my kisses, i'll be your perfect mrs. 'til the day that one of us dies." - 'busy woman' by sabrina carpenter

author's note: hi besties, a non-strategy post today bc i was feeling ot8!! this was the option that one my poll and the other one will come later on <3 also i bought a pink vs wallet as a treat and felt cunty and girlboss then made my guy friend carry the pink striped vs bag they put it in and felt even cuntier and girlbossier love you x warnings: sassy man apocolypse

taglist: @zelinkcrossing @hyunjiiza @zenlackszen @kur0kki @peskybirdysya @nujeskz @jessxxxfwd @xuchiya @bee-gremlin @radblizzardpizzas-blog @matchahintonagar @diekleinesuesse @xh01bri @lunaryoongie @jaehyunluvbot @k1xiara @cloudy-lilly @sunnysidesins @lveegsoi @arcvillie @flqwrlvr @huachengsbestie01 @subby-men-forever | send an ask, dm or comment to be added :)

[unitinyverse]

Ateez version of 'can I stack donuts on it' texts?

ATEEZ SMAU — "Can I stack donuts on it?"

Pairing: Bf!Ateez x GN!reader

Genre/Warnings: smau, suggestive, NSFW, crack, Idk I tried to be funny don't mind me, no warnings.

[daceydeath]

Ateez Playing Wingman

Pairing: OT8 x reader Word Count: 1.5K Genre: Fluff Warnings: None

a/n: In my defense this idea made me laugh because they are dorks.

Ateez playing wing man for each other in the most chaotic ways that only Ateez can.

Seonghwa helping Mingi

You figure something is wrong the moment Seonghwa offers you tea with two hands and a nervous smile that belongs at a royal court, not a café. He has been hovering for ten minutes. Not pacing. Hovering. The kind where he rearranges coasters that don’t need rearranging and straightens a sleeve that’s already perfect.

Mingi notices. You notice. Everyone within eyesight notices.

“So,” Seonghwa says carefully, eyes darting to Mingi and back, “we were thinking you might enjoy… talking. With Mingi. Casually. Comfortably.”

“...Sure,” you say, eyes flicking to Mingi, who is pacing behind him like a caged thunderstorm

“That’s just him,” Seonghwa says quickly. “He’s louder than he means to be. But he’s thoughtful. And loyal. And he remembers things.”

Mingi squints. “Why does this sound like a character reference?”

Seonghwa presses his lips together. “Because you panic and say the wrong thing.”

Mingi straightens. “I do not panic.”

He looks at you. Panics immediately.

Mingi stops pacing. “He’s saying you should date me,” he blurts.

Seonghwa gasps like a Victorian aunt. “That’s not what I said.”

“It is spiritually what you said,” Mingi insists, then turns to you, grin wide and helpless.

You laugh before you can stop yourself. The tension snaps like a rubber band. Seonghwa winces, then peeks at you like he’s bracing for damage. Instead, you’re smiling genuinely

Mingi scratches the back of his neck, suddenly shy. “We can just talk. You don’t have to date me. But if you did, I’d be really… serious about it.”

It’s clumsy and it’s sweet. It’s completely off-script.

You nod, still smiling. “Okay,” you say. “Talking sounds good.”

Seonghwa exhales for the first time all afternoon. “Would you like to sit?” he asks gently. “Together. Both of you.”

Mingi’s eyes light up like he’s just been given permission to exist. Behind him, Seonghwa looks like he might cry from success.. Like a plan went wrong in all the right ways.

Wooyoung helping San

You’re minding your business when Wooyoung slides in beside you, grin sharp and purposeful.

“Hypothetical,” he says. “Do you enjoy people who care too much?”

Before you can answer, he waves San over like he’s ordering room service.

San approaches cautiously, already suspicious. Wooyoung throws an arm around his shoulders. “This is San,” he says, like he’s presenting a prizefighter. “He’s kind. He works too hard. He pretends he’s intimidating but cries at movies.”

“Wooyoung,” San groans, face already pink.

“And,” Wooyoung continues, “he would never waste your time.”

San groans. “You promised to be subtle.”

“I promised to be helpful.” He grins shamelessly.

San turns to you, flustered but trying to stay composed. “I’m sorry. He doesn’t know when to stop.”

Wooyoung opens his mouth. San elbows him without looking.

There’s a pause. San breathes in, steadying himself. “I’m not good at first impressions,” he admits. “But I’m good at staying. If that matters.”

Wooyoung freezes pleased with himeslef. “Oh,” he says. “You’re doing the voice.”

San doesn’t look away from you. You feel oddly seen, like the noise around you faded without asking permission.

Wooyoung clears his throat and backs away. “I’m going to… get snacks. Far away snacks.” He disappears, still talking. You laugh softly. San smiles, a little relieved.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “He means well.”

“I know,” you reply. “It’s actually kind of perfect.”

San’s eyes soften, something hopeful settling in his chest.

Hongjoong helping Jongho

Hongjoong has absolutely engineered this moment.

The music is low. The timing is precise. The conversation naturally funnels until somehow you’re sitting across from Jongho with no clear memory of how you got there.

“He doesn’t talk much,” Hongjoong says lightly, already stepping back. “But when he does, it matters.”

Jongho watches him go, unimpressed. “He thinks he’s subtle.”

“He’s not,” you agree.

That breaks the ice.

“I’m bad at flirting,” Jongho says finally. “So I won’t try.”

You blink, then smile. "That's fair."

“But,” he continues, steady and honest, “I like listening to you. And I’d like to do more of that. If you want.”

“I do,” you say.

“I’d like to see you again,” Jongho says. “No pressure. Just because I’m curious. And I don’t get curious often.”

"I'd like that." you smile softly.

Jongho nods once, satisfied. Somewhere behind him, Hongjoong pumps a silent fist. Later, Hongjoong will insist he knew this would happen. He absolutely did not.

Yunho helping Yeosang

Yunho means well. He always does. He chats easily, laughter bright, then suddenly pulls Yeosang into the conversation like it was always planned that way.

“Yeosang wanted to talk to you,” Yunho says, cheerful and confident.

Yeosang blinks. Then accepts reality with enviable calm.

“I didn’t plan it,” he says. “But I’m glad.”

Yunho beams. “See? Smooth.”

Yeosang continues, unfazed. “You seem observant. I like that. And you don’t rush conversations. I like that too.”

Yunho slowly realizes he is no longer needed.

“I’m going to get water,” he announces, already backing away. “So much water.”

You stifle a laugh. Yeosang’s lips curve slightly, amused as a quiet calm surrounds you.

“He means well,” he says.

“I know,” you reply. “It’s kind of charming.”

“I like this,” Yeosang admits. “Talking without noise.”

“I do too,” you say.

His lips curve, soft and sure. “Then maybe we should do it again. On purpose.”

Mingi helping Seonghwa

Mingi decides subtlety is overrated. He drags you over by sheer momentum, one arm slung around Seonghwa’s shoulders like a proud menace.

“This is Seonghwa,” he announces. “He’s kind. He overthinks. He pretends he’s calm but he absolutely isn’t.”

Seonghwa freezes awkwardly. “Mingi.” It's meant as a warning but it comes out too panicked for it to really be taken that way.

“He’s also really good at taking care of people,” Mingi continues, undeterred. “Like, scary good. He notices when you’re tired before you do.”

Seonghwa clears his throat, ears red. “You don’t have to listen to him. He exaggerates.”

Mingi leans closer to you and whispers loudly, “I don't.”

Left with no escape route, Seonghwa turns to you properly, posture straightening as if reclaiming control through grace. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. “He means well. I just… don’t like being rushed.”

“That’s okay, Hwa” you reply. “Neither do I.”

Seonghwa blinks, surprised. Something in his shoulders loosens like a Mingi sized weight has been lifted off of him.

Mingi grins like he’s just solved a puzzle with brute force. “I’ll be over there,” he says, already retreating. “Being silent.”

Seonghwa watches him go, then looks back at you, smiling tentatively but sincere. “Would you… like to get coffee?” he asks. "With me?"

You nod. It feels like the start of something careful and real. "I really would."

San helping Wooyoung

San doesn’t hype Wooyoung. He grounds him tempering his excitement with a steady calming influence that seems to come naturally to them both. He steps in beside him, hand firm on his shoulder, voice low enough that Wooyoung actually pauses and listens.

“He jokes,” San tells you calmly with a knowing look in his eyes. “But he’s serious about people. He just hides it.”

Wooyoung scoffs pink hue tinging his cheeks. “I do not hide.”

San gives him a look. “Yes you do Woo.”

Wooyoung’s smile falters. He glances at you, then away. “I’m better at making things light.”

“That’s not a flaw, that's a talent” you smile softly. San nods approvingly, then steps back just enough to give Wooyoung space but still close enough that if he is needed he can just step forward again.

Wooyoung exhales slowly. “He does this,” he mutters almost shyly. “Makes me honest.”

He looks at you again, eyes sharper now, more real. “I like making people laugh,” he admits. “But I also like being chosen. I like things to be real”

Your expression softens in understanding. “That doesn’t sound like too much to ask for Wooyoung.”

San silently excuses himself, leaving Wooyoung blinking after him like he just lost the ground beneath his feet.

When Wooyoung smiles again, it’s smaller. Realer. “Coffee?” he asks. “No performance. Just me.”

Jongho helping Hongjoong

Jongho does not orchestrate. He just states facts. He sits beside Hongjoong and you, presence solid and grounding.

“Hongjoong pretends he’s confident,” Jongho says matter-of-factly. “But he worries about disappointing people.”

Hongjoong sputters throw completely off balance by the casual observation. “You don’t have to say it like that.”

Jongho shrugs like he could be talking about what to have for dinner. “It’s true. He also listens. And he never gives up once he cares.”

Hongjoong goes quiet, caught off guard and embarrassed his warming face showing you everything.

You glance at him. “Is that true Joong?”

Hongjoong smiles sheepishly. “Unfortunately.”

Jongho nods, satisfied, then stands. “You should talk.” No flourish, no warning, no goodbye just typical Jongho

Hongjoong watches him leave, then rubs the back of his neck. “He’s terrifying.”

“I think he’s sweet,” you reply laughing softly.

Hongjoong laughs under his breath, relief flickering across his face. “I don’t usually let people see past the act,” he says. “But I think you’d understand me.”

You meet his gaze. “I think I already do.”

Yeosang helping Yunho

Yeosang doesn’t announce anything. He simply steps beside Yunho, lets the conversation slow, then says gently, “Yunho worries people think he’s too much.”

Yunho blinks confused at the almost random statement. “I do?”

“Yes,” Yeosang replies calmly. “You are joyful. Not excessive.”

Yunho laughs awkwardly, clearly touched. Yeosang turns to you. “He makes people comfortable. He doesn’t realize that’s a gift.”

Yunho’s smile softens, less performative now. “I just like seeing people happy,” he says. “Including you.”

Yeosang gives a small nod, then slips away without a word like he didn't just change the entire conversation in two sentences.

Yunho watches him go, then looks back at you, a little shy. “Would you maybe want to hang out sometime?” he asks. “Just… us?”

You smile. “I’d like that.”

Yunho grins, brighter this time, because it’s real, you're real.

a/n: Thank you for reading my lovelies, your support and encouragement has been a true blessing for me this year xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz @armystay89 @damnyouficc @roamingpolar

@tara-skyhold @bakedlilgoonie @krishastumblernow @mrsseals16 @fawnpeaks

@leeknowinggg @tanzen-ist-gold @uno7 @ocean-dreamer-sky-chaser @skersey33

[star-eyed-devils]

Ateez Reaction OT8 Fake Texts

Dad!Ateez x Reader | Fall themed texts

Fluff, Crack

Sending Dad!Ateez fall themed pictures

A/N: The second trick of our spooky season is here!! Decided to go with Dad!Ateez today bc there isn’t enough out there 😤 I hope y'all like it!! Let me know what y'all think pls be nice I did my best

As usual, if you see any mistakes, no you didn't

Warnings: None? They’re all just kinda silly, and Yeosang’s kinda implies their little one is not that smart, but that’s about it?? If I'm missing anything let me know!

EVENT MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

SEONGHWA

HONGJOONG

YUNHO

YEOSANG

SAN

MINGI

WOOYOUNG

JONGHO

dividers: @//solitary-serendipity @//cafekitsune

[eightmakesonebraincell]

texting bf!ateez you have a crush on him

genre: ot8 x gn!reader, crack, questionable fluff, fake texts

c/w: swearing, one (1) nsfw meme - mdni, one (1) suggestive meme, aggressive banter but it's actually flirting, implied violence, pet names

a/n: last release for the year while i buckle down and get the next oneshot finished 🤓☝️ thanks for validating (and invalidating) my humour @sorryimananti-romantic LMAO

taglist: at the end

apply for taglist | unable to be tagged

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