In November of 2005, after spending 11 years sitting in a pew in a Baptist church with my family, I asked my mom to help me buy my own Bible. Well, I had one, but it was that kids one with purple line drawings of ancient world tools and the cool rainbow Ten Commandments page (anyone else?). Once I had secured a more sensible, mature binding of the scriptures, I started reading it in my bedroom.
Somewhere in the Corinthian epistles, while stretched out on my stomach with my Spongebob Squarepants pillow (remember, mature and sensible), I became a Christian. All of a sudden, after 11 years of listening to preaching and answering Sunday School questions, my heart started burning within me as my eyes traveled across the thin, crinkly pages and I believed. In the years that followed, my spirit seemed to have a life of its own and at times I swore I could physically feel it growing stronger within me.
I certainly had cares in those days. Being 17 is not easy. At all. But many things were arranged for me without any effort on my part, mainly food, clothing and shelter.
Now, 11 years later, I have a much better understanding of what Jesus meant when he spoke of “the desires for other things” (ESV), or “the distractions of this age” (AMP), or “all the things they have to do and all the things they want to get” (MSG) in the Parable of the Sower.
He spoke about these things as thorns or weeds that can choke or strangle the Word or the Truth and make it “unfruitful” (ESV) or make sure “nothing comes of it” (MSG). When I read this, that familiar burning started in my heart. Yes, Jesus, I know.
It doesn’t take me long to produce a list of “other things,” “distractions,” or “all the things I have to do or things I want to get.” Here is the short version:
Is my husband going to lose his job in December?
Do I have to homeschool my daughter (who is only 2 months old right now)?
How can I lose 8 pounds without giving up ice cream?
What else is going to go on the Camry?
When can I get a haircut?
Why don’t the exact black leather boots I see in my mind exist anywhere for me to buy?
Do I really have to do dishes again?
Am I ever going to be anything great?
I know all too well that feeling of being constantly busy with a whirring mind and yet feeling time is passing without anything to show for it. Every day distractions can keep me from sowing anything into eternity and there can be a very wearying uneasiness about knowing the Word and yet feeling unfruitful.
Thirst for understanding drove me to study the word choke. The Strong’s definition of the Greek word was “to strangle completely, (literally) to drown, or (figuratively) to crowd, choke or throng.”Knowing that the Word is living and active (Hebrews 4:12) makes the whole idea of choking it, strangling it or drowning it seem very violent, but violence seems to be the best explanation for the resulting death of its living properties.
I can’t say I use the word throng regularly, so I looked that up too. It kind of chilled me to read that it means “to fill or be present in.” Isn’t that what the Holy Spirit is supposed to do?
How often have I sat in church and been filled with “desires for other things”? I have literally missed entire worship songs while trying to find money in my budget to get a new dress or thinking about how someone slighted me that week or how the plot of The Age of Adeline could have been improved.
Jesus said his yoke (the Word) is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11:28): light, I would think, like the life-animating air we breathe. I imagine the distractions of the age to be like the heaviness of water filling our lungs and drowning us.
When the Word is choked out, the Truth it speaks of is choked out. The Truth is, we were made for God (Colossians 1:16), not for fashion trends, vacations, jobs, or even for our families.
What is the answer, then? One of the things you do in CPR for someone who isn’t breathing is to tilt their chin up to open their airway. Probably the best thing to do when I’m distracted is to tilt my face upward and look at the Lord, even when I don’t have anything spiritual on my mind at all. I’m sure He’d rather hear about my concerns than to be completely ignored.
I have been thinking about something Misty Edwards said: keep the conversation going. Keep talking to the Lord. Don’t go silent when you are distracted or even lukewarm. Open your airway. Take a breath. Say something. Refusing to be choked or drowned may mean I have some chatting to do about black leather boots and salted caramel gelato.