My new coworker doesn’t understand the meaning of “personal space.” Also she keeps licking my knee. 😬

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My new coworker doesn’t understand the meaning of “personal space.” Also she keeps licking my knee. 😬
My other new coworker hasn’t done much this morning and I swear I hear her snoring in her cubicle. When I go to say hello, she “pretends” that she’s awake.
I work for a solicitors firm and every time I take a call I have to note down who it was, what I said/they said etc and this happend this morning.
This was me telling my supervisor as she was trying to ring me whilst I was on a call.
i really should get some work done but i am so tired today for some reason so i think im just gonna nap on the floor
i have been so stupidly busy at work with attorneys and legal issues and more attorneys that during today’s check-in conference call I thought I was on mute and let it rip while an attorney was talking about why we couldn’t do a thing and the other attorney was like why can’t we do the thing and realized belatedly that no, everyone on the Teams videoconference could see/hear
also on today’s videoconference: “i just signed the sign-off sheet so if I go into labor tonight you still have proof legal reviewed it”
does it still count as cannibalism if you're a fetus?
today, in the work chat when we discussing the possibility of megalodon babies eating each other in the womb
Office troubles