Trying to explain ADHD during my weekly one-on-one with my boss...
Me: So I think the reason I get so flustered on the phones is... you know how I have ADHD?
Boss: Oh! Yes! Of course, go on. (translation: I'm hip. I know these things. I value diversity.)
Me: And we have that whole "open office" thing?
Boss: Yes, it's wonderful. So much opportunity for collaboration.
Me: .... yes... but see, the thing is, I don't have great auditory filtering, so when the person next to me is on the phone, and then the person behind me is on the phone, and then I'm ALSO on the phone, I can't concentrate on just--
Boss: *leans forward conspiratorially, concerned-mom face engaged* Now-- and this is personal professional advice, not formal feedback-- you want to avoid using the word "can't" when you're talking about your professional abilities.
Me:... I... okay, ah... thank you? I appreciate the advice, thank you, but the thing is, I LITERALLY can't filter out the different voices to concentrate on the person I'm talking to, so I end up answering the wrong conversation because I can't focus on--
Boss: Now of course this okay just between us, just casually talking as friends, but there's that word again. And of course *I* know you're perfectly able to do everything you need to do your job, but let's try to break that habit.
Me:.... yes but I LITERALLY DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO FILTER--
Boss: Oh, don't sell yourself or your abilities short! I think you're doing wonderfully. I know you've had some issues with focus in the past, but I think you've improved quite a bit!
Me: Okay but my BRAIN DOES NOT HAVE THAT FEATURE.
Boss: You're a person, not a brain! Let's focus on what you CAN do, not what you feel you can't.
Me:... I can take more Adderall. I'm gonna just take the Adderall. I'm gonna up my dose of Adderall and time my phone calls around Pamela's lunch break.
~~~~
Really, I love my job and I appreciate my boss's attitude towards the ADHD. I definitely came in expecting to be met with the "ADHD isn't a thing/Kids these days and their drugs and their made-up mental illnesses" stuff I've seen everywhere else, and instead everyone's response was to be vaguely amused at my collection of stim stuff and super excited about the number of things I could have going at one time.
But while I could DEFINITELY defend myself against someone who had shit to say about my focus, I'm helpless against well-meaning professional HR mothering.