I'm in that fun mood where I want to scream at someone to fuck off and tell them how much I hate them but also want them to like hold me and comfort me at the same time.

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I'm in that fun mood where I want to scream at someone to fuck off and tell them how much I hate them but also want them to like hold me and comfort me at the same time.
My anxiety is making me feel like I am going to die and I keep telling my body that no we are not going to die, it's just a panic attack and my body is like fuck you we goona die!
I'm really good at making stupid fucking decisions and then continuing to make more to make it worse.
I have a migraine building and we have a handyman in the house banging on things and freaking military planes flying overhead practicing for an airshow. I just can't anymore!
My therapist told me my body looks hardy since weight restoration and ugh, I just want to lose weight again.