I do
Leah Williamson x Fem! reader
"are you sure I look good?" i didn't answer immediately because I was speechless "you look beautiful" Viv looked at me incredulously "only Leah can make me wear a dress like this".
Vivianne and I were staying in the same hotel room because we were the only ones who didn't go to Leah's bachelorette party, I wasn't feeling well in my stomach and Viv always supports me in everything so she stayed too. The others went to an island for 3 days with Leah.
In a couple of hours it will be the wedding of my captain who is also my best friend. All the girls are freaking out and I understand. Leah has been more than a captain to all of us, it is clear that on her day we will do everything for her.
"Beth told me Katie is planning to sing" I couldn't hold back my laughter "really?" Viv nodded "I wouldn't miss this for the world" there was a moment of silence "Y/n sure you're ok?" Vivianne knew about my feelings for Leah "I have to be ok" I just replied.
Ever since Leah came to that practice breaking the news that she was getting married I felt my heart break, but what hurt the most was agreeing to be her maid of honor, if only Leah knew how that made me feel, but I can't blame her I never told her I loved her.
Every day I imagine a scenario of what would have happened if I had confessed my feelings to her. Now all I have left is to see her with someone else, every morning she will wake up next to someone else, someone else will be able to hear her laugh, someone else will be able to kiss her and that person will not be me.
I looked at the bouquet in Viv's lap, I feel like I'm living in a nightmare, ever since I met Leah I felt something for her, I imagined her a thousand times in a white dress but marrying me.
"She will sing A Thousand years" said Viv looking at her cell phone "Beth keeps you informed of everything" I really liked to see the couple Beth and Viv "how do you manage to be so calm on a day like this?" she turned to see me and continued talking "I couldn't be a maid of honor in the wedding of the woman I love" I let out a sigh "what do you want me to do Vivianne? If I could go back in time and tell her how I feel I would, but I didn't do it because I was a coward, you know? I didn't want to tell her how I felt so I wouldn't lose our friendship and now I'm losing her completely"
"I have to accept that she won't be mine" Viv offered me a handkerchief "don't arrive with red eyes. If you want to leave after the ceremony just tell me and I'll go with you."
I gave her a smile "thank you" Viv looked out the window and added "but we will leave after we hear Katie sing" last night I couldn't sleep thinking about the wedding but today at least a small part of me doesn't feel so bad and it's thanks to Vivianne.
"it's that way" one of the girls said to me pointing to a door, I walked with the bouquet to give it to Leah personally. As I walked in she was sitting in front of the mirror while the stylists were fixing her hair, she looked gorgeous, I don't think there is a word to describe how beautiful she looks.
"I thought you weren't coming" she said when she saw me through the mirror "I came just for the cake" I joked coming closer "here is your bouquet, do you like it?" Leah smiled as soon as she saw it "they are my favorite flowers" that feeling in my heart comes back, I feel like breaking but when I see her smile everything is ok "I know you Leah".
Once Viv asked me why I didn't confess my feelings to Leah and I replied that I needed time, at this moment I realize that I didn't need time, I needed courage and I didn't have it.
"I look ridiculous? be honest" the stylists looked at each other "are you kidding me?" You look radiant" Leah smiled, she looked at me determined for a moment "you look like you want to tell me something" a lump in my throat began to form.
I would be the most selfish person in the world if at this moment I told Leah how I felt about her. Leah has always been kind to me, I haven't maligned her kindness although sometimes her looks gave me hope I would be unable to tell her on her wedding day that I love her, or it would make her uncomfortable. But what if this is my last chance?
"I just wanted to tell you that I..." my words were interrupted by Keira "Leah is all set and y/n come with me" Keira rushed me out of the room "tell me later" was the last thing Leah said to me. My last chance just disappeared.
"I do" Leah said and all the noise around me disappeared. There was nothing more to do, I no longer had to pretend that I was unaffected and happy about their wedding.
Vivianne looked up at me from her place with a thousand emotions in her eyes, "I'll be fine" I indicated with my lips without making a sound. She and Beth seemed to be having fun and I didn't want to ruin their night, I grabbed my things and walked to the exit.
"Y/n! Y/n! Wait!" I recognized Alessia's voice "why are you leaving so soon? Your stomach still hurts?" during the three days of Leah's bachelorette party Alessia was as attentive to me as Vivianne was to Beth "I'm nauseous and I don't want to be remembered as the bridesmaid who threw up" I lied "you can't drive in that condition, let me drive you" said Alessia extending her hand for me to give her the keys "stay at the party" I asked her but she looked determined "I'll take you home and then I'll come back" I gave her the keys, in this condition I couldn't drive. I could still hear Leah's "I do" echoing in my mind.
As Alessia drove I felt my heart beating harder and harder and chills ran through my body "are you ok?" asked Alessia concerned "stop the car" I blurted out with difficulty. It was happening, I was having a panic attack, I felt the car stop moving, I opened the door and threw myself on the ground, I couldn't breathe.
"y/n I'm Alessia" she hesitated "inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth like me" she started to do as well so I could notice how I was breathing "that's right" she continued helping me to breathe "do you want me to ask you something? I'll do it anyway" I listened to his agitated breathing and little by little my heartbeat regulated.
"How are you feeling? Let's go to the hospital?" I quickly denied "I feel better already thank you" Alessia sat next to me "I don't know how you could endure so much" I was surprised when I heard her "what are you talking about?" Viv told her something? "I know everything Y/n"