Klaus befriends Ilya and Shane. Thoughts.
You just made me choke on my own spit — concept: 1 me: 0 How dare you drop this idea on me without any preamble or anything?? It was life-threatening and threatened my life.
I feel like Klaus would instantly discover he’s experiencing heated rivalry thirst and instantly decides the only way to deal with it is to become hollanov’s lover. He would then try to talk the pair of them into a threesome. By sliding into their DMs on Instagram (which he can’t figure out and loudly declares he doesn’t get why anybody would use it).
Just in case they’re not interested, he thoughtfully offers an alternative: “Or I could just watch. You wouldn’t even notice me sitting right there up close, I promise I can be really quiet.” As if Klaus being quiet is a thing that has ever happened, ever.