I love my white and yellow bed. I love the yellow morning light. I love my morning routine which has been like this: - 12 minutes meditation - 5 minutes moving however my body wants to move - 5 minutes drawing whatever my hands want to draw - 10 minutes writing down anything - shower, breakfast - and only then check social media I'm feeling grounded, and thrown all over the place all at once. I'm eating lunch like the picture here, almost every day. A grain, beans, rye toast with nut butter and banana, salad. I still struggle to know and decide whether I should be accepting my body and the food I eat, or trying to change things. That picture of me running (on Saturday) is taken at an angle that makes me feel uncomfortable. Especially next to my bean-pole training partner. I don't quite know what to about these thoughts. I'm seeing the sports dietitian again today. She's lovely. Today I'm also racing 10,000m and 25 laps around a track at the Western Province senior track champs. I have never done this before. Maybe it's a very ridiculous thing to try for the first time on such a wide-open platform. I don't know. I'm just kind of doing it. At 8pm. With all the lights on in the stadium. Life is surreal.