#body image things

[saturnshari]

is there any love for skinny-fat ladies (normal bmi with large waist/stomach) or am I just fucked

[shellbuddies]

I lived bitch

[propheticfire]

The body image and gender and relationship gremlins were yelling today.

Was just thinking (again) about how lonely I am, and how I wish I had a Person. I feel like nobody could or would ever want somebody who looks like me, who’s fat like me. 30 years’ past experience has proven this. And now with this whole nonbinary thing in the mix, I feel like it’s even more impossible. I feel comfortable calling myself nonbinary. I feel way more comfortable there than I do calling myself a cis woman, that’s for sure. But I feel like I won’t even have the slimmest chance at finding somebody unless I go back to “being a woman”. At least as a fat woman, I might have appealed to people who have a fetish or something? And I know this isn’t true, but I can’t get out of the rut of thinking “girls won’t like me unless I’m also a girl. Guys won’t like me unless I’m a girl. The only people who might like me are other NBs, but I’m not even a cute NB so what chance do I have?” I don’t go places to meet new people, so I get that this is partly on me, but I’ve tried online dating before, for several years, and I never had any luck there. I gave up on that. It feels like, if I couldn’t find anyone online where there’s more options, what chance do I have in the real world? I feel really sad about it. I try to be at peace with it, but sometimes, like today, it just really gets to me. And I don’t yet know how to fix it.

[curlycombover]

I just caught myself doing something that I can’t remember doing in recent history. I had put away my computer but I’ve gotten it back out because I can’t stop thinking about this. 

I haven’t ate enough today. It was mostly out of laziness (and entirely not out of knowing that I might have to go out this weekend and I always starve myself when I go the bar and 90% of my bad decisions have been made in a food deprived tequila filled daze). 

But I just caught myself grabbing at the fat on my stomach and looking for when my hip dips in. It’s just such a distinctive thing I used to do when I was really bad back when this all started years ago. I remember being in my bed in my parents’ basement just falling asleep touching my hips bones that would protrude more and more every day that I didn’t eat and ran too much. 

I’m the heaviest I’ve been in year right now. My weight has balanced though and I’m struggling with that knowledge. I can eat whatever I want right now and I don’t gain weight anymore. I’m very comfortably at the weight I am currently. But I’ve also been half this size in the last year and a half and it’s hard to not think about that. About how much easier it was to fit clothes, the comments people would make, just the easiness of fitting more inside the box. But that summer and fall I was that small - guess what? I wasn’t eating. 

Here I am though, thinking about going out (possibly for the first time in 6 months with /that/ person) this weekend and I immediately fall to don’t eat. 

[servantofclio]

One of the things I appreciate about the Olympics is what a diversity of body types you can see -- the very solid weight lifters; slim, lean distance runners; swimmers with their broad shoulders and sleek builds; compact, flexible gymnasts with thighs and arms of steel. Movies and TV tend to show us a lot of the same deemed-to-be-desirable body types, and it’s refreshing to be reminded that there are a huge variety of physiques and ways to be in top shape.

[brazenbutterflyfragilewings]

So apparently to be healthy the measurement of your stumach should be half of your length, which in my case would be 84,5

and even now, when I’m period bloated, it’s only 80

and that makes me kinda happy

[tracersfreckles-blog]

Something I'm thankful for: My bae, my dearest darlingest bae. Who makes me feel attractive and good looking even tho my body is covered in scars and stretch marks and blemishes and isn't a conventionally attractive body type.

[ashroe]

This is perhaps very unimportant to you. But I described my body as having “curvy juicy rolls” yesterday and it was pretty empowering, then today I woke up feeling very bad about myself. I ate too much breakfast but then sweated off for an hour. Stared at the same body, told myself, “yeah, still pretty rad and juicy.”