I’ve been thinking about that bingo card I filled out. Recently, I’ve been in a process of trying to look at the things I struggle with and, rather than give in to all the unhelpful, shaming “It shouldn’t be that hard” and “just DO it” that gets tossed around in my head, actually go:
Okay, so. It IS hard. What can I try that might make it EASIER?
And I’ve been thinking about that bingo card I filled out, and how... hopeless? helpless? it feels to stare down all those checkmarks on all the things that trip me up. That didn’t feel too great, so, I thought I would sit down and really examine those things and see what the barriers are and what kinds of things I could experiment with to get over/around/under/through them.
This is going to be kind of a rambly self-meditation, so, cut goes here.
With thanks to @ao3commentoftheday for putting the bingo card together and @ffxiv-writers for putting it on my dash.
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It’s an emotion not a plot
I didn’t write it YET
Couldn’t think of a beginning
Got distracted by a new WIP
Too much happening IRL
Fell asleep
The stars haven’t aligned
Fell into a research hole
Couldn’t think of an ending
Hit too close to home
Lost the idea because I didn’t write it down
Got stuck and can’t get past it
Forgot I was writing it
The first thing I’m noticing as I look at this list is that some of them have to do with the content of the writing itself, and some have to do with external factors. There may be other ways to divide this list up, but that’s what I’m seeing first, so let’s see where that gets me.
Content Problems
(aka, I actually started writing the fucking thing but it’s fighting me)
It’s an emotion not a plot
Couldn’t think of a beginning
Couldn’t think of an ending
Got stuck and can’t get past it
So, in descending order of troublesomeness/frequency, these are all things where I have an idea of something I want to write, but I’m snagging on something around developing the idea. I’ll sit down to write, but when I try starting, what comes out is boring as hell -- I tend to get “explainy” (related to “telling rather than showing”). Or, there’s a clear start, but where is it going? what am I trying to say? Or, some inconsistency in the middle makes getting from A to B difficult.
How have I managed to get around these content-related things in the past? What could I try if I get stuck again?
Complain about it until I rubberduck myself into a solution
Outline-brainstorming (ideally with someone else)
Skip past the boring stuff and start with the fun stuff
Do I have enough characters in the thing for this to be an interaction?
If this is a “character by themselves” scene -- can I insert some apostrophe? an imaginary dialogue?
What’s the conflict/problem/point of tension? (even in fluffy scenes there is one -- that’s the payoff)
Start in the middle of the dialogue
Where do I want to end up? (positive/negative mood? location? circumstance?)
Where did I start (emotionally, circumstantially) -- what’s the “opposite” of that? (ensures movement over the scene)
Letting it be (but coming back to it)
Scrapping the whole thing (but saving it to be cannibalized later)
...but sometimes I need to just let it go and take the EXP consolation prize rather than getting stuck on it. Not everything will “jell,” but it’s all grist for the mill.
But what gets in my way more often than not is...
External Factors
...which can further be divided into problems starting...
Too much happening IRL
Fell asleep
Lost the idea because I didn’t write it down
The stars haven’t aligned
Hit too close to home
I didn’t write it YET
...and problems finishing.
Fell into a research hole
Got distracted by a new WIP
Forgot I was writing it
Now that I look at them, most of these have to do (for me) with either attention/motivation or energy.
The biggest barrier for me is energy -- I call it “writing brain,” and it’s like a meter that is depleted by all kinds of things, including how much I’ve had to use my ability to focus on a given day, whether I’ve gotten enough sleep, if I’m in physical discomfort, how much stress I’m under, etc.
...speaking of energy. I just ran flat out of ability to focus on this post, so I’m going to post what I’ve got on top of my head so far.
Here’s the vague toss-out on the energy/attention/motivation thing:
BE GENTLE WITH MYSELF.
Give myself structure and opportunities to succeed (I’ve had great luck with a sticker chart)
Give myself credit for EVERYTHING I do, including partial credit.
Write ANYTHING. It counts!
Figure out what “the stars aligning” looks like (for me: music, a deadline, several prompts to constrain possibilities)
...all fit for my own practice of writing, which is just to write at all -- I’m not working on a larger project or to a deadline.
And sometimes it still doesn’t work. But shame takes up writing brain. So... maybe that’s not the best way for me to spend my energy?
