im a coward and I love too hard and I push too hard and I pull away too far and I fight too hard and I laugh too loud and I speak too softly and I take up too much space and I am still so small and I want to crawl under my mom's blanket and burrow into her side and looking at her fills me with anxiety and fear for a broken rule I didnt break and I want my dad to protect me from himself and I want to play with my sister outside and I want to move so far away I never see anyone I know ever again and I want to stay right here and fix everything thats burnt down and I want to sleep in the ashes and im a coward im a coward im a coward














