there is a name pushing at the cage of your teeth / it forms a shape in real time / spiked, like the prickles on a succulent before they give way to the rain / i once pressed that name into my palms like a brand / hid it in clenched hands, in nails that were bitten / bare and boneless
do i regret you? maybe
but i smile when i say it / search the skies for the gaze of a ghost-crow from my past / blue ice spearing to my soul / it steals the name from my mind / drops it like a feather to the ground / you catch it on your tongue, carrying the weight tucked behind loose-leaf lips
do i regret you? never
but i smile when i say it / as if i had enough of you to forget in the first place
ah, so you do see that sharp-honed blade / slicing slivers from a name i dare not claim / swallow it, then, in small bites of truth / you call me by a name i am not yet ready to answer to / twist your wantings to become my own / i realise i am delaying the inevitable, but / resistance has long made itself at home in my lungs
do i regret you? always
but i smile when i say it / and look away
