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[lilyjaneevans]

You're Lucky || Lily&Remus

@writingpartnersurl

Synopsis: Remus visits Lily for some morning tea. They have a conversation about a recent death eater attack, and their feelings regarding the loss left in its wake.

[lilyjaneevans]

You're Lucky || Lily&Remus

@writingpartnersurl

Synopsis: Remus visits Lily for some morning tea. They have a conversation about a recent death eater attack, and their feelings regarding the loss left in its wake.

Remus: Remus appeared outside of Lily’s door with a huff. Things at home had been quite difficult lately - Sirius and his everlasting mood swings was finally starting to get to him. Not that he didn’t have good reasons for it, and of course Remus wasn’t upset with him, he just needed to have a bit of quiet time without risk of being interrupted.

So, here he was, at Lily’s place, letting himself in the door as though he lived there himself. Kicking off his shoes, Remus glanced around to see where she could possibly be. Not in the living room, so he continued deeper into her flat, a hand ruffling his hair slightly as he entered the kitchen. Smiling brightly as he found her with her back turned to him, he simply pulled out a chair and sat down. “Making tea? I’d love one.” He said instead of giving her a proper greeting, making himself right at home by propping his feet up on the chair across from him.

Lily: It had been a very good morning so far, after a very late and productive night of editing half the articles for the next morning’s paper, she’d finally sent them off to the chief and been able to get some sleep. Now she was just finally slipping from bed after a while just laying in the soft light of the morning peeking in through her blinds. She paused a moment only to stretch, arms high over her head and head bent all the way back, before shuffling her way to her kitchen.

Her flat was small, but cozy, and being a corner flat meant that she had windows in every room but the bathroom. The natural light made her feel like she could breathe as easily as if she were outdoors. All the same, she still cracked the window above the sink before setting to making tea.

She was stirring in her sugar when from behind her she heard the sound of a key turning in her front lock. It made her hands pause in their movement for only a moment before returning to her task. There were only a small handful of people in the world who had a copy of her flat key, and they were all people that she would always have time for, always be in the mood to see.

She listened to the quiet sound of their footsteps, and the sound gave her a good idea of just who was visiting. Reaching for another cup, she poured tea for Remus as well and set it to steeping and when he took a seat, she turned to him with cup and saucer already in hand.

“You’re lucky I always boil too much water,” she said with a smile and a wrinkle of her nose, but came forward and set the drink down in front of Remus before retrieving her own. She stayed standing with her back pressed against her counter, smiling and blowing away some of the steam before taking a sip of her tea. “How have you been? I’m having quite a lovely morning, if I do say so myself- And I do.”

Remus: Remus returned her bright smile with one of his own - she’d always had such an infectious mood and he had a hard time feeling anything but calm and happy in her presence. He was quite thankful to have her in his life, she was a breath of fresh air amongst all of the madness. “You say that as though I didn’t already know that you always boil too much water.” He teased with a small snort, pulling his tea closer when she placed his cup down in front of him.

“I’ve been alright,” Remus replied with a half shrug, picking up his tea and taking a small sip before setting it down again. “A bit shaken up since the attack, but…” He trailed off, pulling out his wand and summoning the sugar jar to him. Everybody tried their best, but no one was ever able to make his tea as sweet as he’d like it. “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before, I’m sure I’ll get over it soon enough.” The words were slightly mumbled as he focused on sweetening his tea.

Replacing the jar back to its rightful place, Remus turned his full attention back to Lily again. “And what about you? How’re you dealing with everything?” He questioned her, raising a brow. The two of them were similar in a myriad of ways, and things like these tended to hit them both harder than some of the others. It was part of the reason why he’d found himself here - Sirius seemed to be feeling better than ever, having let out all of his pent up aggression at the attack. And James’ mood always seemed to mirror Sirius’. Remus just needed some peace and quiet away from the two of them, and Lily had always been his quiet place.

Lily: “Knowing i’m going to doesn’t mean you’re not lucky. What if I hadn’t this time?” There was a little smirk on Lily’s face as she sipped her tea, already feeling warmer for it, color in her cheeks. She gave Remus’s feet a swat just as he moved to get them off of her table, and watched him as he answered her question, her expression softening but her smile not slipping away. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

She knew very well that her and Remus had the same feelings when it came to things like this, the violence and destruction was near every day for them now but they never seemed able to desensitize themselves of it. There was a part of Lily that had almost come to cherish the anxiety it brought her to see such suffering happen in the world, she never wanted to turn a blind eye to any of it. She didn’t want to feel nothing. That rush in her chest would always keep her looking, responding, doing everything she could to help. Still it pained her to see it in her friend, now. Remus Lupin certainly deserved to feel some peace and comfort.

“Hmmn… Moony boy…” she mumbled, reaching a hand over to gently ruffle his hair, and she shook her head. “I’ve been better.” She slipped from the counter to the seat across from Remus, bringing herself closer to him. With a small furrow in her brow she admitted, “there were some injured people I helped move to the hospital… They didn’t make it. I’ve been keeping busy to keep my mind off it, but…”

Her teeth worried at her lower lip, dark eyes settled down in her cup of tea, clasped between both hands. Her thumb traced at the lip of it, she could feel the anxiety racing in her chest. “I hate feeling so helpless.”

Remus: Remus took a moment to think over her question. Was he really alright? He had come out of the attack with minimal injuries, a couple of cuts and bruises here and there, but nothing worse than what he was used to. And his friends were alright - all of the Marauders were safe, Lily was still standing, everybody close to him hadn’t been hurt too badly. That was all that really mattered, wasn’t it? “I’m sure.” He finally answered with a short nod and a tight smile, hoping he hadn’t hesitated too long for it to seem disingenuous. Maybe he was a little bit more on edge and anxious than usual, but it wasn’t anything worth mulling over.

Leaning into her touch, Remus offered her a sympathetic glace at her words. He didn’t like it when she was feeling anything less than great and if he could take away all of her pain, he would do it in an instant. As she continued, Remus felt his expression fall to one much more melancholic. “Oh, Lily Pad…” He sighed, his head shaking slightly, unsure what he could do to attempt to comfort her. His hand reached out to her on its own accord, resting lightly on her elbow. “I’m so sorry.”

That was the most difficult part of all of this - doing everything in their power to ensure everyone elses safety only for the outcome to be different than what they had planned. Lily had done everything that she could, and unfortunately ended up with the worst possible case. Remus nodded his head, his hand fidgeting absent-mindedly with his mug. “I do, too.” He admitted softly, his eyes falling from her as he straightened in his seat, picking up his mug.

“You did all you could.“ Remus offered her another small smile, “That’s what matters.” Lily had always been selfless, she was always looking out for everybody around her. Hopefully she’d see that what she did was the best thing she could have in the moment, and hopefully she wouldn’t blame herself for what happened. Lily didn’t deserve to have that sort of guilt eat away at her.

Lily: The sound of that nickname, in that gentle tone of voice that Remus said it, made her feel all at once safe and a little bit silly. But she knew there was nothing silly about the way she felt, not about this. Her brow furrowed and she glanced to the hand now holding her elbow. She slipped one away from her teacup to return the hold on Remus, squeezing his elbow before letting her hand pull back, slipping down the length of his arm to take his hand. Her fingers slipped between his, entwining, and she looked down at her hands. She could only let out a soft breath, nod smally at his apology. It wasn’t his fault, but she knew what he meant by it. She didn’t like to see him upset, either.

“I did,” she agreed with him softly, she had put everything she’d had into trying to keep everyone safe. That night had taken so much out of her, she’d done absolutely everything she could, but still Remus’s words didn’t comfort her against the thoughts she had about it, “but is that really what matters…? Would all of the people lost in this war agree with that? Would their loved ones? My best wasn’t good enough to save them. How long until my best isn’t good enough to save someone I love?”

Her eyes slipped up to take in his expression, and she smiled an apologetic sort of smile, letting her curly head slip down to rest with her cheek pressed against the cool tabletop. “I’m sorry, Remus, this probably isn’t the tone of conversation you were looking for today.” Her smile turned to a bit of a smirk and she grumbled, “I wish I could just, give You Know Who a bop on the nose, knock his head straight like anybody else.”